Version Check: Thief is coming out on five platforms: The PC, PS4, PS3, Xbox One and Xbox 360. I played the game all the way through on PC and also tested the PS4 and Xbox One versions. The PC version is easily the superior option; it looks quite nice, and I was able to run at very high settings at 1080p and maintain a mostly solid 60fps frame rate. Both next-gen console versions run at around 30fps, though both feel a touch inconsistent. The PS4 version runs at a slightly higher resolution than the Xbox One version—1080p to the Xbox One's 900p—but neither looks or runs as well as the PC version. While I could spot the resolution difference when comparing the two next-gen versions, both are a bit crusty and don't feel like they show off the full potential of their respective consoles. As for unique console features, the PS4 version needlessly ties the inventory to the DualShock 4's touchpad, which is less intuitive than the radial menu in the other versions. The Xbox One has some typically useless voice functionality and uses trigger-rumble while lockpicking in a nifty way. I was unable to get either a PS3 or Xbox 360 version of the game to review ahead of the release date, so I can't yet speak to their quality.

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Thief's narrative revolves around the perplexing and underdeveloped relationship between Garrett and Erin, as well as a strange sickness called "The Gloom," a bout of amnesia, a mysterious power called "The Primal," and a handful of empty-shirt supporting characters who occasionally waltz onstage to say things like "We're not so different, you and I."

Like so many aspects of the game, the story barely holds together right up until it falls apart completely. This narrative glue is more like dried chewing gum, an attempt to spackle together disparate story missions with napkin-thin characters and cliché-ridden dialogue, all building up to a finale so unsatisfying and nonsensical that even now I remain unsure what the hell happened.

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When the credits rolled and I saw well-regarded writer Rhianna Pratchett's name atop the writing credits, I did a double-take. Pratchett, who wrote last year's Tomb Raider, is by all accounts a skilled writer, as well as being a fierce advocate for more diverse, interesting video-game scripts and better roles for female characters. Yet here we have a game with one of the clumsiest, most poorly constructed stories I've encountered in recent memory, where the only notable female characters are A) a dull "bad girl" who quickly becomes a damsel in distress B) a mystical exposition-crone and C) a group of prostitutes.

The disconnect between Pratchett's talent and the contents of the game's script may be indicative of what went wrong with Thief more broadly. I've no doubt the majority of the people who worked on the rest of the game were similarly good at what they do—these are some of the same people who made the terrific Deus Ex: Human Revolution, after all—but their combined skills still don't appear to have been enough.

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We've long been hearing rumors and reports of Thief's extended, torturous development, tales of scrapped ideas and a work environment derailed by office politics, where leadership was constantly in flux and creative direction was inconsistent at best. Over the course of the game's story, it's revealed that for generations The City has been ceaselessly built and rebuilt on the skeletons of past cities, with powerful men and women fighting for control as their workers suffered in the gloom. Critic Leigh Alexander once smartly observed that games often reflect the environments in which they were created, and that observation feels particularly relevant here.

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We often use the word "release" to talk about new games. I've never been fond of the term, but in this case it feels fitting: Thief has been released. Thoroughly mediocre though the finished product may be, it is perhaps a relief that after years in creative purgatory, it has finally been set free. May its better ideas go on to fuel other, better games.

For now, though: Thief is a woeful disappointment, a bowl of stealth gruel best pushed aside in favor of tastier fare. Let it sit, let it grow cold, and let it be rinsed away.