"That stick… the one going down the center of the screen? I mean, if you ask me, it looks a lot like a penis," Ryan said, referring to the video game I made. Ryan is an App Store employee with whom I recently discussed sex for about a half hour.

I could tell there was a sex scene brewing in The Witcher 2 when Geralt of Rivia and his comely redheaded sorceress companion Triss stumbled upon this ancient Elven bathhouse, and I wasn't planning on sharing the resulting NSFW video. Then Triss tapped into the vast mystical forces of the universe to remove her…