24 Recap: Get Ready For World War III

Illustration for article titled 24 Recap: Get Ready For World War III

PREVIOUSLY ON 24:

The president's dead... no wait, he's alive, because this show has no balls; Chief of Staff Mark Fuckface betrays Jack to the Russians; Chloe betrays Jack to run off with her BFF Adrian Snowden; CIA agent Navarro betrays everyone; there's an override device that can control every weapon in the world; Jack is mad as heck.


We're three episodes away from the end of this mini-season-experiment of 24, and Jack already threw big bad Catelyn Stark out of a window (what is it with Starks falling out of windows?), so now we know it's time for A New Twist: this time, it involves Wikileaks and an override device that can somehow control the whole world. This episode begins with Adrian Cross promising to use the override device to expose government secrets and classified weapons all across the globe, because he thinks somehow this would make everybody much safer. Adrian Cross is a moron. But Chloe digs him, and so she goes along with his silly plan at least for a few minutes.

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Meanwhile, Bauer is chasing down Navarro, who has the override device. Navarro knocks down a British soldier and cops his automatic rifle, firing it at Jack. Of course, automatic rifles can't kill Jack. Nothing can. Right, Japan?

Right.

Jack eventually catches up to Navarro. For a while now we've been watching the ex-CIA head skulk around the shadows like a big ol' creep, so there's something really satisfying about getting to see Jack finally take him down. But since this happens at the beginning of the episode, we know that Adrian's gonna get away with the override device for like 40 minutes or so. Way too early to bring in a new twist.

Meanwhile, we learn a little bit more about Kate Morgan's sad backstory: her husband, who we knew was arrested for selling secrets to the Chinese, killed himself in prison. Also, he didn't actually sell secrets to the Chinese. Navarro did. He's a dick.

Navarro's motivations for doing this are not quite clear, other than him being "paid quite well" for selling his country out, but hey, uh, government salary? How the hell did he wind up running the CIA in London? Whatever, 24.

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In the White House, leathery president Heller (who will now forever be referred to as The President Who Should Have Died) is mixing alcohol with meds and repeating things to his daughter. If only he had died.

Also, chief-of-staff Mark whatever is super jealous that Audrey has the hots for Jack—as if anyone can control their burning passion for Jack—so he calls up that Russian dude with a vagina mustache and tells him where Bauer is running off to.

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Illustration for article titled 24 Recap: Get Ready For World War III

Mark later regrets this decision after finding out that Jack Bauer is literally the only person who can save the world, as usual. Mark is totally screwed, which is karma for even getting close to one of Jack Bauer's exes.

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Back in the CIA, Navarro wants immunity, because this wouldn't be 24 if someone wasn't asking for immunity. Jack and Kate pull off a fun little good cop/bad cop con where Jack plays good cop (possibly for the first time ever?) and Kate gets Navarro to spill everything he knows, which leads them off on a merry drive to the building where Adrian and Chloe are hiding away.

But Adrian, who betrayed Navarro earlier, is now THE BETRAYEE. His client, Cheng Zhi (who you may remember as the homeboy that spent 18 months torturing Jack), killed all of his friends as revenge for Adrian being like "yo I'm gonna use the device to expose everyone's weapons instead of giving it to Cheng Zhi." Cheng Zhi didn't like that.

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So Cheng takes the override device, coerces Chloe into making it usable, and shoots Adrian in the forehead. :-(

Good thing Jack and Kate know where Cheng is and are on the way to save everything! Except they get blindsided by a truck full of Russians. (Truck Full Of Russians is the name of my ska band.) This leaves Cheng Zhi plenty of time to successfully use the override, and with it, he sends a message to a U.S. nuclear sub telling them to blow up a nearby Chinese ship, because I guess Cheng Zhi wants to start a global war?

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So as the episode ends, a U.S. sub has just blown up a Chinese carrier. World War III is about to begin, and there's only one person who can possibly stop it.

Illustration for article titled 24 Recap: Get Ready For World War III
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No, wait.

Illustration for article titled 24 Recap: Get Ready For World War III
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BRING IT, CHINA.

Stray observations:

  • Why are there always override devices? Don't people in the world of 24 know to stop making so many override devices?
  • "That doesn't make any sense!" Kate must have been a Bauer in another life.
  • "Just so we're clear... I wasn't asking. That was me being courteous." I LOVE YOU JACK.
  • Who has a better chance of coming back to 24, Simone or Behrooz?
  • Fun parallel here: in season 6, Chloe's now-dead husband Morris helped terrorists set up a nuclear bomb. Here, Chloe has the chance to help terrorists set up a nuclear sub... except she doesn't, because she is a hero. She tries to plant a virus in the system instead.
  • Seriously, guys, where is the time skip? We have two episodes left. Is it ever gonna happen?
  • Is there any character more pointless this season than Kate's tiny CIA agent buddy who keeps getting in Jack's way?
  • R.I.P. Adrian Cross. You will be remembered by absolutely no one.

Mole Count: 0

Jack Bauer Kill Count: 0

Jack Bauer "Dammit" Count: 1

Ridiculous Jack Bauer Quote of the Week: "I can assure you, full immunity is not on the table. But your hand is."

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DISCUSSION

Squirrelbot3001
Squirrelbot3001

leathery president Heller (who will now forever be referred to as The President Who Should Have Died)

Oh god, this again Schrier? Let it go already! This is James Fucking Heller we're talking about—a man who drove his car off a California coastal cliff by his own volition just to give a middle finger to terrorists that were going to snipe him—and he survived it. He also gave this digit of choice to terrorists that had kidnapped him previously in Day 4.

He didn't run at Wembley—the missile just bounced off his steely leathered skin. He's the biggest bureaucratic badass in the history of 24.

It's bothersome that in this world a nuclear sub only needs an encrypted email to fire on a peacetime Chinese aircraft carrier (not a tanker—note the giant flattop) on a moment's notice. You'd think they'd maybe want to call HQ and double-check it was sent.

The producers have said the final episode makes up the remaining 12 hours, and they have a smart way of doing it apparently. It's probably going to be some flight-time lapse, possibly a return to the U.S. or maybe Russia, if the Russkies get their hands on Jack (though unlikely, seeing as how next week's trailer apparently shows Jack gets back to the U.S. embassy to confront Jealous Mark—I was seriously hoping they had quashed this story weeks before, but Audrey had to go all gooey with her phone call to Jack and get a glow about her, so my original theory Mark was going to try and get Jack out of the picture came to fruition after all).

The biggest disappointment this week is something no one seems to be talking about: Chloe's amateur hour flee tactics. She had an established route to escape Cross—with his permission no less—that was at least double the distance from the car versus her "lets flail our arms shouting at the first pedestrian vehicle we come across and hopefully convince the driver in a matter of seconds to let her jump in and take off"; this is a woman who's dealt with terrorists for the better part of a decade—killed two of them in fact—and was running the New York division just four years ago. What was she thinking? An established quiet escape route in the dark no less, and instead she plays a damsel in distress. This is so out of character for her, and I'm terribly disappointed in the writers for doing this to our favorite techie.