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Don't Have Kids

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So for the last two weeks, my PlayStation 4 hasn’t been working.

To be more precise, it was refusing to play discs.

Everything else was fine: downloaded games worked, apps worked. But the PS4 wouldn’t read any disc at all. Most of my games are on the hard drive, but there were a couple of disc-based games I was hoping to finish (The Last Guardian, Titanfall 2).

Also my copy of Overwatch was on disc.

So this shit wouldn’t fly. I decided to have a go at fixing it.

I’m not very good at fixing things. I’ve never built my own PC and I generally make things worse when I try and solve techy problems, but whatevs. I decided to have a go. After watching a few YouTube instructional videos and borrowing an intense screwdriver set from my brother-in-law, I got to work.

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But before I opened anything, I gave my PS4 a gentle shake.

RATTLE RATTLE.

What the hell?

I broke warranty by removing some stickers on the back, allowing me to unscrew certain parts of the PS4 and open it up for the top. After a bit more work I managed to take out the Blu-ray drive.

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That’s when I noticed.

What the fucking fuck?

I’ve got a healthy number of screws sitting next to me, but I decide to take this one step further. I took out the Blu-Ray drive.

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Yep, that’s exactly what it looks like. Zelda: Tri Force Heroes wedged in my goddamn PS4 Blu-ray drive.

And that’s when it clicked. I have two kids. One just turned four and the other is 12 months old. The oldest has a 3DS but he’s a bit careless about leaving the games lying around. My youngest likes to put those games in his mouth. Why? I have no earthly idea.

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My youngest has also developed a habit for putting things into other things.

You don’t have to be Columbo to work out who the culprit is here.

Insanely, once I removed the 3DS cartridge, and put the PS4 back together again, it worked perfectly. Problem solved.

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This isn’t the first time they’ve pulled shit like this:

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DON’T.

HAVE.

KIDS.


Mark Serrels writes for Kotaku Australia, where this story was originally published.