The first thing I noticed after initially booting up Pokémon Go was that 70% of the landmarks near me were churches. Considering that I’m not a religious person, this has proven to be kiiiind of awkward. I am not alone in feeling this way.
Actually, a lot of Pokémon Go players are being directed to churches so that they may collect new monsters and more items within the augmented reality game. Given Pokémon’s rocky history with spiritual matters, not to mention the sheer touchiness of religion, this has turned into a strange gameplay experience:
In response to this Pokémon Go quirk, many players are taking to social media to joke about their experience with churches, and it’s a hoot. Here’s a small taste:
My first two pokestops on Pokemon Go were at a church and thought God was telling me something. Then my 3rd was KFC and I knew he was right
— Jared Smith (@JayBoogs_) July 7, 2016
https://twitter.com/embed/status/751040960742711297
https://twitter.com/embed/status/750998748755423232
I need Pokéballs for #PokemonGO, and the church next door is a Poké Stop, but a funeral is going on #decisionsdecisions #gottacatchemall
— Jack W (@JWillsNH) July 7, 2016
"You went to the Baptist Church?"
Yeah, to DESTROY a Caterpie. #PokemonGO
— Ever³⁶⁵ (@EVERsaur) June 17, 2016
https://twitter.com/embed/status/750750701043712001
https://twitter.com/embed/status/750758365207212032
Help, Pokemon GO is trying to make me go to church. I DON'T NEED POKEBALLS THAT BADLY, OK?
— Crispy (@CrispyLovesYou) July 7, 2016
https://twitter.com/embed/status/750886143911014400
https://twitter.com/embed/status/750979007001145344
https://twitter.com/embed/status/750951222329257985
PokemonGo: Take more walks and go to church.
— 🌿🌲 TheCynicalhound 🌲🌿 (@CynicRottie) July 7, 2016
https://twitter.com/embed/status/750887642921742336
https://twitter.com/embed/status/750865510229680128
I haven't been to church in years #PokemonGO pic.twitter.com/vrDY9zCebn
— εmilγ// 🇫🇯 (@emxutaxmine) July 6, 2016
nice try pokemon go but you cant make me go to church pic.twitter.com/E3zjP1BFzf
— kenny (@knnyyyy_) July 6, 2016
Downloaded Pokémon Go and it told me my nearest shop was in our local church down the road. Nice try, God!
— The CEO of Tadashi Supremacy (@Reaperfox) July 6, 2016
Pokemon GO: Forcing your kids to go to church has never been this easy. pic.twitter.com/l3DB8y2U0r
— kev 🤪 (@KevEnriqz) July 6, 2016
So the church next to my house is a PokeStop in Pokemon Go which means I can finally tell my grandma about all the time I spend at church.
— Active Player Network (@ActivePlayerNet) June 9, 2016
Bah, the nearest poke-center in Pokemon Go is a church. Fuck that. :O
— Stellario🐉(@stellario.bsky.social) (@DrgnExile) June 7, 2016
https://twitter.com/embed/status/750968312373317632
I feel like #PokemonGo is trying to tell my gay ass something, making the nearby church a gym. pic.twitter.com/KjA3pXgGbq
— Gothy xoxo (@PissPuddlesXO) July 7, 2016
https://twitter.com/embed/status/750961373291679744
walked to a spooky church at 3am to catch pokemon. pokemon go has changed everything 10/10 would recommend
— Day. (@InterimDaylan) July 7, 2016
Pokemon go keeps trying to make me go to this abandoned church and I ain't about that
— 🐰 (@NaeNaeAllDayDay) July 7, 2016
That moment when every pokemon center in pokemon go is a goddamm church.
— Fernando (@_CpT_NoNo) July 7, 2016
https://twitter.com/embed/status/751076371263172608
https://twitter.com/embed/status/751070260992716800
Got it working in the end & made some progress today. My first Gym is a church. Time to spread the sin 👌😂#pokemongo pic.twitter.com/VaSP1a9kHB
— Marley ✨🐚✨ (@PonderMoofin) July 7, 2016
https://twitter.com/embed/status/751064241139027969
"Sorry im late for work, but I was hunting a #ghastly in my local church." True story. #PokemonGO @Pokemon pic.twitter.com/byw7gqIisJ
— Hev. (@HeatherPhetish) July 7, 2016
https://twitter.com/embed/status/751082589822353409
https://twitter.com/embed/status/751062053666713600
https://www.tumblr.com/princegary/147042273749/
https://www.tumblr.com/the-nev/147035838541/
https://twitter.com/embed/status/750899820840292352
Why so many churches? This is just a guess, but I’m assuming it is because they might turn out to be safer to visit than your average locale. The GPS system that the game uses is also simply marking many of the man-made landmarks near players, and, well, some players just happen to live near more churches than anything else. UPDATE 3:47 PM: Apparently many of the landmarks in Pokemon Go are imported from Ingress, Niantic’s last augmented reality game.
Regardless, guess I better brush up on the good word of Arceus, our lord and savior.
