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Jesus H. Christ, Kinect Star Wars Will Have a Dancing Minigame

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Hey, so the ESRB released its ratings certificate for Kinect Star Wars, let's read along: "In this action game, based on the Star Wars universe," mmhm, yeah, "players use their body movements to perform activities," right, gotcha, "that include dance tournaments—"

Fuck the heck?

That's right, folks, Kinect Star Wars, which has gone through two shoulder-shrugging unveilings at E3 in 2010 and 2011, before righting the ship (sort of) this summer, has apparently added dancing minigames as a way to engage players' Jedi fantasies.

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Podracing, that's OK. Not my cup of tea, but I was raised on the original trilogy. And while the game involves a bone-crunching, Gamorrean-snacking Rancor, we already knew about that (and the podracing) from this document leaked six months ago. A dance contest is a total blindside. I don't know of anyone in either generation dying to get their groove on to Lapti Nek.

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Good news, though, "in the dancing mini-game, some female characters perform suggestive moves (e.g., gyrating their hips/buttocks) and wear revealing outfits (partially exposed cleavage/buttocks). The words "damn" and "hell" can be heard in the dialogue."

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Damn, this game really went to hell, didn't it.

Kinect Star Wars [ESRB, via Joystiq]