NSFW: Kinect Can Recognize Solo Play

People are hacking Kinect, doing all sorts of amazing things with it like mapping their rooms and turning into a bloated mutant. But when does the screwing start?

Sex tech website Slashdong wonders just that. Well, with it possible to teach Kinect to track boobs, then surely laying pipe must be around the corner, no? Well, not just quite.

Answering what Kinect can bring to sex (besides the obligatory video chat), Slashdong replies, "Well, probably not a good real time rendering of your cock, or strap-on, or really any genitalia a usable way for pornography. Why? Because that's not really what it was made for."

Kinect was designed to render the human body as a whole, not just junk. And genitalia, Slashdong explains, just are not actually a major geometric feature in relation to the size of the entire body — in relation to the ego is another matter.

To test Kinect's penis recognition, the site checks the depth reading for a 5.75 inch dildo and does a rendering of it in space. The big snafu for rendering are shadows, which also came into play in this clip as well. Underboobs and testicles could render all sorts of havoc on Kinect whoopie.

While Slashdong doesn't think people should stop from using Kinect to spice up their sex lives, it concedes, "The pattern the kinect uses to get depth data is made for picking up full bodies to control video games, and therefore isn't quite so good at picking up minutiae about those bodies." But while the top image might be from a joke site using Second Life images, Kinect can recognize sexual activity.

Masturbation, it seems, was made for Kinect. The system's gesture-based control make it possible to teach the peripheral how to recognition jerking off. Depth and shadow might cause confusion between hand and genitalia, but as Slashdong writes, "The camera can watch you masturbate, easily know you are masturbating, and use information that to control shit, be it your text editor or someone else's love device."

Kinect owners, it's okay to love your Kinect. Just don't love your Kinect.

Because you knew I'd make this post sooner or later [Slashdong via CNET via Shelly Palmer]