My PC’s optical drive won’t open. It’s been that way for a few weeks. Why won’t my PC’s optical drive open?

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  • It’s passive-aggressively suggesting that I don’t really need an optical drive in the first place.
  • It’s still recovering from when I tried to get it to read my original 7th Guest discs.
  • It still hasn’t forgiven me for tearing it out of my last PC and cramming it into this strange new body without even asking.
  • One of the tiny cables has come unplugged.
  • One of the tiny prongs within one of the tiny cables has come unplugged.
  • A tiny particle of dust somehow got on one of the tiny prongs within one of the tiny cables and has severed the connection.
  • It’s become attached to the old PC Gamer Shadow Warrior demo CD I may have left in there.
  • It’s being held shut by a tiny man, whose one tragic purpose in life is to keep any DVDs or CDs from getting through.
  • It’s sick of my shit.
  • It’s sick of your shit.
  • It’s been so long since it last opened that it’s forgotten how.
  • The door is stuck or the mechanism is otherwise jammed.