The house has fallen into chaos. Thankfully, a savior has emerged: Tilda Swinton.

You wouldn’t really think much of Tilda from the looks of her. The past few times I’ve played this house, she’s mostly napped on the couch and played basketball. But today I decided to see what makes her tick.

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Mainly, it’s alcohol.

She rolled these back to back. Girl, chill.

She also rolls wants to cook meals, which is convenient, because no one else really knows how to cook. Indeed, when I’m not controlling this house, shit goes awry. No one really sleeps in their bed. They kinda just fall asleep wherever they want to.

So I decided Tilda would become the house mom. In between making drinks for herself, she’d cook meals for everyone else. That doesn’t mean other sims don’t cook, of course. They often try to grill hamburgers and then leave the platter by the pool to spoil.

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The house’s grilling habit would become a problem when Drake decided to man the grill, caught himself on fire, and then died.

Never fear, gentle readers. Tilda was able to not only put the fire out, but plead for Drake’s life with the Grim Reaper. Swayed by Tilda’s words, the Reaper gave Drake a second chance.

Tilda also caught on fire in the process, so she didn’t quite make it out unscathed. All in all, the woman leads a stressful life. Guess that’s why she drinks so much.