The Next McDonald's Happy Meal Toys Are Going To Kill Me

Today Activision announced a second round of eight Skylanders Happy Meal Toys will be launching March 27, but they will not be alone. The Skylanders: Swap Force characters will be the "boys" toy, and the "girls" option? It's My Little Pony, dammit.

"I think you've been triangulated," said Kotaku boss Stephen Totilo when I showed him what was waiting for me at the McDonald's Happy Meal website.

The Next McDonald's Happy Meal Toys Are Going To Kill Me

Eight Skylanders: Swap Force toys and eight My Little Pony Rainbow Power toys will be available in North American Happy Meals from March 27 to April 24. So that's 16 Happy meals. Luckily I have two children, so that's really just eight visits. I may have to dress one up as a girl, I'm not sure how this works.

You say I can just buy the toys without the meals? That's cheating.

Here are the eight ponies, including the most dramatic DJ Pon-3 ever. Imagine them smelling like french fries.

The Next McDonald's Happy Meal Toys Are Going To Kill Me

Activision sent along nice solo images of each of the Swap Force offerings, which will also smell like french fries.

The Next McDonald's Happy Meal Toys Are Going To Kill Me

The Next McDonald's Happy Meal Toys Are Going To Kill Me

The Next McDonald's Happy Meal Toys Are Going To Kill Me

The Next McDonald's Happy Meal Toys Are Going To Kill Me

The Next McDonald's Happy Meal Toys Are Going To Kill Me

The Next McDonald's Happy Meal Toys Are Going To Kill Me

The Next McDonald's Happy Meal Toys Are Going To Kill Me

The Next McDonald's Happy Meal Toys Are Going To Kill Me

They say being marketed at directly by three major companies is the sincerest form of wanting your money. In closing, dammit.