Parker! Parker! Get out there and get me some pictures of that menace! He tried to steal an Xbox One! Maybe that's news? What do I pay you people for?!

Crime is a constant feature of video games writing. Somewhere, someone is doing something illicit with them—sometimes comically stupid, sometimes tragic. Kotaku's Police Blotter is here to round up the latest in games crime. All suspects are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law.

I'm trying to see what the real news is here: On one hand, a Salvation Army bell-ringer stole a BB gun, two video games and a vibrator from a Kmart. On the other, Kmart sells vibrators?

The FBI now is raiding homes looking for World of Warcraft gold farmers. The party van showed up March 30 at an apartment shared by two University of Michigan students (building pictured), who say the feds have got the wrong suspects.

Closing out this April Fool's Day is a prank that is 100 percent truthful in its awesomeness. At Ann Arbor, Mich.-based Greenview Data, the co-workers of one Minecraft-addicted employee, Matt, converted his cubicle into a Minecraft cave anyone could be proud of, in game or in real life.

Okami-themed decal job spied in the parking lot of an unnamed Michigan college campus by reader Chris S. The driver's love for the game extends from hood to license plate.

Operators of gaming centers would have to write and file a policy on how they enforce game ratings at their establishments when applying for a business license, under an ordinance being considered by a Detroit suburb.