I’m not going home for Thanksgiving, and I’m too busy packing my apartment to celebrate with friends. This year, I decided to recognize the holiday in a different way: with my sims.

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There aren’t really holidays in The Sims, but you can have parties, so that would have to do. To start getting ready for my dinner party, I bought a new dining room table and more chairs.

I called off work for my sim and her fiancee, and then got them to start cooking and cleaning. Since her fiancee got up first, I decided he could get a head start on appetizers, while my sim would cook the bulk of the meal. This plan was sound. The problem was my guests showed up very early.

In the latest expansion, City Living, you have the option to give a key to your apartment to your sim’s friends. That means they can come over any time. That’s fine if nothing’s going on, but it does mean you can’t start other social events like parties. Whatever, I’ll just wait for them to leave right? Wrong! They left and came back like an hour later!

By the time I was able to start a party, it was 8pm. A late start, but I’ll roll with it. My sim doesn’t know how to make turkey but I’ve got a taco casserole and cake for desert. It’ll do. In The Sims 4 parties start as soon as you invite everyone over, so I whip out her cellphone and check out who she’s friends with.

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Here’s all my sim’s friends: her fiancee, a lady she met at karaoke, her coworker, her ex-fiancee, and Bruce Biggs.

After dancing to some K-Pop, everyone’s starving, especially my sim who had been slaving away in the kitchen all day. Time to call everyone to a meal! They all refuse to sit at the same table at the same time. As soon as someone approaches the lone empty chair, someone else gets up. This is my nightmare. At one point they’re all sitting except for Bruce, who has decided to eat facing the TV. Fine Bruce! See if I fucking care!

Thanksgiving is so much more about the chaos preceding the meal than the meal itself, and The Sims was no exception to that. Once they all started eating everyone got along just fine. My sim and her ex didn’t fight. Her fiancee made a great impression on all her friends. Bruce was only marginally weird. It felt cosy and intimate. The ghost didn’t even bother anyone too much!

My sim rounded out her Thanksgiving with a time honored tradition: passing out on the couch. Have a great holiday, everyone.