Skyrim is Teaching Your Kids "Homo Erotic Sex Maneuvers"

You may look at Skyrim through the lens of a person who likes video games. Or as someone with an interest in fantasy, or Nordic mythology, or even the structure of game design. I bet you've never looked at it through the lens of a fake conservative Christian columnist.

Parody site Christwire has, and their breakdown of the game is a fascinating, hilarious one.

The Dragonborn is a terrorist. Creating your character is "the liberal's way of teaching our kids that modifying and gender changing one's self is fun and normal". And once that's done and you're out in the big world? You're free to "spend the next 400 hours robbing people, killing villagers, crafting sexual items, fornicate with elves and other Harry Potter style animals and also learn how to conjure up black magic."

What's best, and even more prescient than the homophobia, is the platform and developer ignorance, which reads so much like one of these stories would actually read it's frightening. Skyrim isn't called an RPG, it's called an "MMORPG first person shooter", while developers Blizzard released the game on "PlayStation 1,2 or 3, Gamecube or XBox 360 Live Kentic".

Worth a read for a chuckle, but be warned, there's enough use of the word "Skyrimjob" that it might not be safe for work.

Is Skyrim Teaching Your Children How to Perform "Rim Jobs" and Other Homo Erotic Sex Maneuvers? [Christwire]


You can contact Luke Plunkett, the author of this post, at plunkett@kotaku.com. You can also find him on Twitter, Facebook, and lurking around our #tips page.