When I mentioned I had never played a PlayStation Move game at Sony's GamesCom preview event, someone suggested I try out Singstar Dance. It's a good thing alcohol was being served.
There are two things I never do in public unless intoxicated, at least lightly: Dancing, and singing. We've seen how the singing works out in an older Kotaku video I refuse to link to anymore, and tonight it was dancing's turn.
Before you ask, the folks handling the demonstration assured me the video was destroyed.
Singstar Dance is one half of two new games coming to the Singstar franchise, which is immensely popular in Europe, but not so much in North America. It's a pity, really. Some of the singing videos you find uploaded to the PlayStation Network via Singstar are the stuff of brilliance.
Now imagine being able to share dance videos as well. I was this close *makes really close finger sign* to having a truly embarrassing moment uploaded to the internet. Heaven help us all if I ever get this technology in the safety and comfort of my own home.
It took a team of three wranglers to get me to try the actual dancing, two on vocals, and a helpful woman dancing by my side, dwarfed by my gargantuan size. It was like I was dancing with a Muppet. Fortunately, this has always been one of my dreams.
Once you sync the PlayStation Move controller to your movements, it becomes an extension of your right hand. As the song plays, a silhouette dances on the screen as well. You must match her movements rhythmically, or be faced with getting a very low score.
Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive" is the song I picked, mainly because I know all the words (which doesn't matter when you are dancing, but mmm, beer), but also because I figured it was good for some dramatic hand motions.
I was right!
At first I was afraid. Hell, I was petrified. I kept thinking I could never dance will all these people by my side.
But then I started not thinking about how I was going to do this wrong and I got strong. Somehow I carried on.
I threw my arm back; luckily there was space. I moved my arms to the music with a faint blush on my face.
And then I stopped attempting to finish off the post as a song parody. That's just silly.
My handlers assured me that "I Will Survive" was an easier song (they steered me away from M.C. Hammer's "Can't Touch This," I guess I had the wrong pants on), and sure enough, it was relatively simple. There were some very disco hand motions, from the air above my right shoulder to my left hip, and then reversed, and a fair amount of rhythmic hand shaking.
There were also spins. I refused to spin in public.
I managed to make it through the song without major embarrassment.
Then they started to replay it on the big screen television, and I covered my eyes and begged them to stop, which they did.
I peeked a little bit. I wasn't actually half bad. I come from a long line of dancers and can, in a pinch, bust a move in the name of mocking my forefathers.
This is exactly the sort of title I would love to have in my home, where no one could ever see me playing it.
Perhaps it will be, once Singstar Dance comes to the PlayStation 3 in November.