Ah, football and August - fresh cut grass, training camp, two-a-days, puking, pre-season football, the release of Madden and, about 3 seconds after that, the reports of the first Madden glitches. Unlike last year's bugfest, it's been reasonably quiet so far. But paging through YouTube on Friday I found a plethora of classic, often hilarious Madden glitches, plus one of him perhaps subconsciously drawing a wiener on the telestrator in real life. We lead off with the Madden Ambulance Montage (love that title card) above. You can watch the health care professionals (oath: "First, do harm.") in John Madden Football '92 cut a path of destruction through the uninjured players on their way to pick up the crumpled halfback - with slo-mo replay, too. Many more clips after the jump. A montage of late hits from Madden '96. *Crackle* ... "Oh no, there's a man down." Pat Summerall sounds terribly upset by the wanton 16-bit violence he's just witnessed. Playing in the Super Bowl vs. the Colts, the Bears' Rex Grossman gets hit so hard he shits a football. In the pocket, Drew Bledsoe was such a statue he had pigeon shit on his shoulder pads. Yet here he uncorks a Frank Tarkenton-on-meth rollout and hits Terrell Owens for an unorthodox score. Bonus points for the Harry Kalas impersonation.
Vince Young Matt Leinart (coulda sworn I was looking at the Titans) back to pass ... Saints free safety Josh Bullocks has a bead on it and FUCK YOU FATHER KARRAS ... YOU'RE GOING TO DIE ... ALL OF YOU /vomits ... also, Merton Hanks, you can't touch this. The Ravens' Kyle Boller has one hell of an arm, I'd say. Stick with it, long delay at the beginning while the guy sets up his camera. You know, when Donovan McNabb puts one up in the air like that, it's probably going for 6 in the other direction. Not from the game, but I couldn't resist. Madden gets all Freudian in last year's Giants-Cowboys game.