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Can you imagine what it would be like to hate Super Mario Odyssey? I’m especially qualified to say “No,” given how many thousands of hours of my life I’ve devoted to the enjoyment of digital jump gauntlets starring Mario. In the name of fresh video content, I thought-experimented my way into the mind of my own hypothetical worst enemy—a Super Mario Odyssey hater. Contained in this video are nine terrible reasons one could dislike Super Mario Odyssey, if one were so inclined (or if one were a monster).

So if you’re jealous of someone who’s going to be playing Super Mario Odyssey all weekend—maybe you don’t have a Switch; maybe you want to buy one and can’t find one—here’s a video for you.

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I have Super Mario Odyssey on my Nintendo Switch now. I’m going to eat some tacos and then play it all night, in the dark.

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