Now that all talk of misogyny, mistreatment and objectification of women has been put to rest; now that we've all decided to live together in perfect harmony and treat each other as respected equals; now is the time for preorder bikinis and shots of half-naked video game characters sparkling with rivulets of shimmering sea water.
"Sensual in-game swimsuits for female characters" reads the official news that not one but two sets of revealing "bunny-style" swimwear will be available to the men and women that preorder Dead or Alive 5. GameStop purchasers will score the 'DOA Angels' set of white swimwear for Kasumi, Leifang and Hitomi, while Amazon buyers get the 'DOA Devils' set, featuring dark swimsuits for Christie, Tina and Ayane.
It's also fortunate that everyone in the world suddenly agreed that retailer-specific preorder items are perfectly wonderful and we love them.
GameStop customers can also opt to pay $79.99 for the special Collector's Edition of Dead or Alive 5. Wrapped lovingly in an embossed steel case, this special package includes swimsuits for all of the female characters, a hardcover art book filled with "lush imagery" and a copy of the game's soundtrack.
Let's see what it looks like!
Sorry, that's the only image that came with the news.