To: Ash
From: Crecente
Re: Why Is Time Moving So Quickly, Can You Make It Stop, Gee Thanks

Did you ever watch the old Peter Sellers' Pink Panther flicks? I used to love them when I was a kid. One of my favorite reoccurring characters in the movie, besides Sellers, was Cato Fong. Remember him? He was Clouseau's valet and an expert in martial arts. Clouseau asked Fong to attack him whenever he wanted, to keep the inspector on his toes. And Clouseau invariably was at the losing end of those battles.

Yeah, that was great stuff. Now imagine the same scenario, the idea of unexpected attacks, but this time I'm Clouseau and my 120-pound Great Dane is Fong. Yeah...

I made the mistake, when we first got Edgar Allan Poe, of rough housing with him. Now he LOVES to play with me, but he doesn't always warn me. So, I'll be walking down the hall on the way to my office, minding my own business, when Poe will leap out from a door and plant his man-sized hands on my shoulders and shove. Or, he'll come running up behind me while I'm talking to someone and ram me with his elephant head right below the knees. Or he'll stand on his back legs, and from the height of about six-feet, will start to smack me around with those absurdly large mitts of his. He's even delivered a right hook once or twice.

And he loves it. He opens up his giant mouth, exposing a startling array of big white teeth, his eyes go a little crazy and his tail thumps. And then he tries to grab my arm with that mouth and it usually ends with me wrestling him to the ground, trying not to laugh or howl.

Advertisement

I know I shouldn't do it, that one day I'll be explaining to a doctor how my arm was broken... in half, but I just can't help myself. He's SO adorable.

What you missed:
The Dark Darkness of Alien Vs. Predator's Perpetual Night
Mile Marker 20: Closure
Next Assassin's Creed Will Have Full Campaign, "Justified" Multiplayer
EA Sports Happy To See Tiger Woods Address the Public
Jokes About Video Games, Not For The Kids
Aliens Vs. Predator Review: Too Human
The Latest Prince of Persia Plays With Solid Water and Flexible Time
OnLive Resurfaces: Crysis On An iPhone, Data Centers Located
Borderlands Creator Wanted Me To Pick A Card, Any Card