To: Ashcraft
From: McWhertor
Re: I Like My Women Like I Like My Gamers - Covered In Fingers

Another day, another panic-filled dozen or so posts on Kotaku, frantically hoping that Brian "Mr. Infuential" Crecente will show his face at Kotaku Towers. Ironically, the man is a mere 17 miles away from my house right now, give or take, so he's of closer proximity than normal. But he's yet to make it to the east side of Los Angeles for an impromptu employee evaluation. Bummer!

Totilo did his first posts today, ushering in a new era of brutal Totilotarianist rule. Hopefully, the whippings will decrease as time goes on. Please pass on a "DONGS IS THE CANCER THAT IS KILLING SPENGBAB DILDOPANS" to Luke, as an apology for linking him to the Auto-Meme Generator.

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