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Sadly, The Expendables 2 Video Game is Not Developed by Wright, Meier, Carmark and Garriott

Illustration for article titled Sadly, emThe Expendables 2/em Video Game is Not Developed by Wright, Meier, Carmark and Garriott

Based on the upcoming sequel to the hit action ensemble film starring every action hero still able to pick up a weapon, Ubisoft's The Expendables 2 is missing a real opportunity to assemble the greatest team of game developers that ever coded.

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Sylvester Stallone. Jason Statham. Jet Li. Dolph Lundgren. These are names that deserve a crack team of gaming legends banding together to dole out hot development justice. Instead they get a downloadable game coming this summer to Xbox Live Arcade, the PlayStation Network and PC.

The Expendables 2 video game is set in the fictional world inhabited by the big names in run-and-gun cinema. The team is on a mission to rescue a famous billionaire (not Lord British) from kidnappers when, and I am quoting the official announcement here, "all hell breaks loose and the explosive mix of testosterone and kerosene detonates in a massive fireball that never lets up".

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Illustration for article titled Sadly, emThe Expendables 2/em Video Game is Not Developed by Wright, Meier, Carmark and Garriott

Come on, that's got Bleszinski and Romero written all over it. Meier could work in a strategic element, Wright could bring the non-player characters to life, and Carmark could code everything while taking a nap, not that the man ever naps. Pull in Levine to twist things up a bit, and then finish the whole thing off with a Miyamoto adventure about growing flowers on the graves of your enemies.

Illustration for article titled Sadly, emThe Expendables 2/em Video Game is Not Developed by Wright, Meier, Carmark and Garriott

Instead, we have four player online and offline co-op and challenge-fueled leaderboards. I suppose that's good enough, but the game I'll be playing in my head is guaranteed to be at least 100 times better.

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Illustration for article titled Sadly, emThe Expendables 2/em Video Game is Not Developed by Wright, Meier, Carmark and Garriott

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I think the biggest tragedy (behind this Kinja commenting system, of course) is overlooking Reb Brown.

It's Reb's world, and he's the man.