Sorry, Coach. This Video Game Says You're Getting Fired.

Illustration for article titled Sorry, Coach. This Video Game Says You're Getting Fired.

Poor Paul Wulff. I don't think I played a dynasty season in NCAA Football 12 in which Washington State didn't fire him. Like clockwork, his name was on the axe list when the annual "Coaching Carousel," implemented last year, started to spin. He never had a winning season in Pullman and his two Pac-12 victories last year, in real life, were a career high. It was so easy to predict his dismissal, a video game could do it.

I thought about this when I finished up a dynasty in NCAA Football 13 and saw that Frank Spaziani went 3-9 at Boston College and just barely held onto his job. Brian Kelly went 5-7 at Notre Dame and was already feeling the heat even though, in real life, he's under contract through 2016. (In NCAA Football, coaches have between one- and four-year deals.) At Missouri, somehow Gary Pinkel kept his job despite being rated 0 percent in job security. (The Tigers went 5-7).

With all that in mind, I went looking for this year's Paul Wulff. These are big-name coaches who got shitcanned in my simulation of NCAA Football 13.


[Note: I'm using custom named rosters, of course. You can get your copies for free, too.]

Charlie Weis, Kansas: Weis, the ridiculed former coach of Notre Dame, takes over in Lawrence this year. NCAA Football 13 doesn't even think he'll last a year after going 3-9. By far the most hilarious name to come up in my "fired" list.

Dan Mullen, Mississippi State: He's had one good season overall and three victories against the SEC West. To be fair, that's the SEC West. Of course, nothing is fair in the SEC West. I wouldn't see him surviving 6-6 either, which is how the Bulldogs finished here.


Curiously, Weis then went to Mississippi and Mullen to Kansas. So the two schools traded coaches, more or less. OK ...

Bob Davie, New Mexico: Another former Notre Dame hiring mistake widely regarded as a buffoon, though his tenure as an ESPN analyst is more to blame for that. NCAA Football must have something against ex-Irish coaches in their first year at another school.


Jeff Tedford, California: Bears fans are getting impatient with Tedford, now in his 11th year, coming off a nondescript 7-6 season. A 2-10 campaign in Berkeley would be absolutely fatal.

Art Briles, Baylor: Here's where it goes into WTF-land. Baylor is coming off just its second 10-victory season in school history, regardless of whether or not Robert Griffin III's Heisman Trophy does or should reflect well on Briles. The 10 wins in 2011 should give him at least a one-year grace period, even if the Bears go 3-9, as my simulation predicted.


Finally, one last hilarious note. In this simulation, Mike Leach, the former Texas Tech coach who lost his job in a feud with famous helicopter parent/failed Senate candidate/former TV ignoramus Craig James, leaves Washington State after a 4-8 year. Not because he was fired. NCAA Football 13 had him taking the job at SMU. Which is James' alma mater.

The opportunity to troll James must have been too good for virtual Mike Leach to pass up.


(Top photo by Getty)

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I guess they should be prepared to see both Jim Tressel and Bobby Petrino in future games. Successful coaches on that level seem to get sought out after their scandals die down, and as long as they produce, all will be overlooked. As for Craig James...ignoramus indeed, just glad to see he's off ESPN. Now they just need to work on ridding themselves of a few more.