Trust No One in DayZ—Especially Those With a Helicopter

It's tempting. You're in an ultra-realistic, post-apocalyptic fight for survival, and some helpful human players show up in a goddamn helicopter of all things, blow away the zombie menacing you, and invite you aboard. And why wouldn't you join them? It's great to have friends with aircraft. Except these aren't your friends.

If you're playing DayZ, the ArmA II mod and see a helicopter piloted by two dudes in ghillie suits, stay the fuck away. Do not climb aboard. Because they will then transport you to "Schadenfreude Island," 14 kilometers off shore, where there are no respawn buttons. You'll be stuck there idling until your character finally dies.

"Don't get on the chopper in 1524," advises one. "DayZ, the post-apocalyptic griefing scenario for douchebags," says another. If this game had a box, I'd put that on the back of it.


[h/t Elliott D.]

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I was playing Half Life 2 with some friends at a LAN party at my place and there was a rocket launcher on a ledge we couldn't quite get to. I told my friends to come over and crouch down so I could jump on their back and reach the area. I get up there, turn around and blow them both away. I'm laughing so hard, I pass out and my face slams into the tiled floor and I black my eye and my nose is bleeding from the impact. The lesson for the day, don't be a griefer. Even though that was fucking funny and you probably had to have been there.