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The Agony And Ecstasy Of The Pepperidge Farm Cookie

Illustration for article titled The Agony And Ecstasy Of The Pepperidge Farm Cookie

Over at Slate, a writer has gone ahead and eaten every kind of Pepperidge Farm cookie. He begins his article thusly:

People think I'm weird because I like Chessmen. But they're my favorite cookies, and I defend them with vigor whenever I encounter a Milano-lover who wants to fight me about it.

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And with that, I thought, "Okay, Leon Neyfakh, you are my kind of guy." Because I agree, Chessmen are my favorite kind of Pepperidge Farm cookie. Ginger Men are up there, and of course, I do like a good Milano. But when it comes down to it, only Chessmen gives me that "Oh man I can eat this entire bag and not even give a shit" feeling.

So I thought I'd poll you guys. Which kind of Pepperidge Farm cookie is the best?

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A few notes: After some consideration, I left some of the newfangled ones off, so you won't see "Milano Melts" or those half-Milano abominations on here. Second, there might be a couple of discontinued lines in here (I don't think they sell Molasses Crisps anymore?) but some are well-loved enough that they should be included. Third, I felt like mint Milanos and Brussels deserved their own category, but there are so many other flavors of Milano that I couldn't include them all. Fourth, I'm sure I forgot one—it's actually surprisingly hard to find a comprehensive list of these, and I don't get paid to research cookies! Usually. So, I beg your forgiveness for whichever one I callously forgot.


Keeping all of that in mind, have at it:


Are there other cookies that you feel are superior to Pepperidge Farm? What are they playing at with their faux sophisticated names, anyway? Do you just stockpile Girl Scout cookies, or what? Discuss that, or anything else, here or over in the Talk Amongst Yourselves forum. Okay, I'm gonna go buy some Chessmen.

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DISCUSSION

Pirouettes FTW. Hazelnut with a nice, Maduro cigar and a big-ass cup of coffee.

Alternately, there's a new thing it's only temporary as it's a limited time offer but there is a drug out there and it's called a Thin Mint Crunch, it's a collaboration between Nestle's Crunch Bars and Thin Mint Girl Scout cookies. They only come in packages of two, but they only cost like 75 cents a piece. I bought an entire box of them from Walmart once and my and my wife went on a spree.