Thank you, the Internet. Damn you to cat claw hell for this, but also thank you so much.

The face that kitten in green makes when it's about to catssassinate the first soldier. This face:

The horror.

And also everything else about this video. Assassin's Creed Unity might have cool crowd tech and post-just-shanked-a-thousand-dudes fistbump bro-op, but I don't think it can top this.

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I don't think anything can really top this. Jeez, ugh, cats, etc.

We can only hope Ubisoft is taking notes—you know, assuming their cats haven't decided to lay down and take an incredibly inconvenient nap on the paper. That, I think, is what a true kitty assassin would do to facilitate the downfall of kingdoms and empires.

Anyway, commence with the long squeals and heaving sighs. I'll be at PetSmart for the rest of the day, petting the ever-loving crap out of every kitten in sight until the police make me leave again.