I had a mental breakdown at school last semester, and had to go to some pretty intense therapy sessions. I was explaining to my psychologist/counselor that I left my games at home (attending a college that's a 2 1/2 hour drive from my hometown) so that I could concentrate on schoolwork. When I went home on breaks I would go on gaming binges, which wasn't something I would normally do. She mentioned that I seemed more relaxed when I was discussing video games with her. It was a eureka moment, to be sure. Gaming is how I relieve stress. Like a fool, I went totally cold turkey and didn't even consider what a deep impact it would have.

If you love something, keep it close to you. If nothing else consider that you'll need something to keep you occupied when you retire. =)

StickyPurpleCat

Still, I never actively made a decision to change my priorities or make a certain balance in my life. The only major decision I made was to go back to school, and after that, everything kind of fell into place. My life sorted itself out very nicely and gaming is still a large part of it, but it's no longer the focus. It simply can't be when you get older, even if it's your job. Other things simply become more important to you - but if they don't, they don't.

I think the unfortunate sign of growing up is that you quit dreaming in the sense that a lot of your notions of grandeur, should you have such notions (you're gamers; you do), realisitically fall to the wayside as you set less-loftier goals for yourself. It's not a terrible thing and there are always dreams, but they no longer become the definite thing you strive for. You can't spend your whole life wishing for something when you've got bills to pay and a place of your own. It just doesn't work that way.

But if you have passion for anything, including games, you find ways of working them into your life. For instance, I will likely never play another RPG ever again, as much as I like them. Not only do I not connect with most of the fiction these days, I simply don't have 100 hours to devote to levelling a prinny (sorry, Witz). At the same time, I've given up a lot of twitch gaming - the thought of playing another DMC after 3 makes me shudder. My tastes just changed on their own and kind of accomodate my lifestyle - sandbox games are great because you can play them for however long at your own pace and come back later. FPS games, while most are awful, can be good for the quick competitive fix. Even Peggle can be a nice distraction from the day-to-day events. However, at the end of the day, I look forward more to a drink with a pal or to my bed than to marathon a game session.

dunetiger reads kotaku, seems pleased

GrlGmr

ManekiNeko

DreamToDream

I don't care about playing the latest games when they come out because I can get them much cheaper later on (except for Marvel vs Capcom 2, grr) and I still play them. I stopped most gaming while I was in college so I never had a PS1 or N64, but once I had a semi-stable job, I got a PS2 and got sucked back in. Nowadays, I spend more time reading about gaming than actually gaming, thanks to Kotaku.

kingofallcosmos

It goes even deeper: I go out of my way to visit the games department of any department store and, of course, dedicated game stores, but I'm finding it tougher and tougher to justify buying games that just don't measure up. In the past, I practically bought anything that moved and was half-decent.

mariospants

gamesronlygames

Dukeman330

Now I've decided to go back to college, work 40 hours a week, and keep up with my social circle (including mostly non-gamers). I've almost completely cut out TV, choosing instead to watch shows online or have them on in the background while I SP grind in Lost Odyssey or fly through some FPS.

I'll never be completely out of playing video games, some of my first memories were of me clutching an intellivision controller, and chances are my last memories will be me clutching the neural transmitter of the PS9 like they promised us in those commercials a few years ago.

SixDemonBag

inajeep

Tei

Giving your 3 year old your antiquated MegaDrive and watch as she plays and loves Sonic: Absolutely priceless.

No amount of gaming could ever beat that moment.

ZonalFear

Us too! Even though the people at Toys R Us or GameStop get freaked out when they ask if it's for your kid and you tell them no, it's for you.

(Another win for online shopping: no narrow-minded judgmental salesdroids)

Evil Tortie's Mom

n99y99r99

and that's the truth

BigChiefSmokem

For those of us who still don't feel like adults; fret not. I don't. I've always thought of "adulthood" as a physical state, not a mental one. I'm always told that at heart, I'm just a "big kid." I have no problem with that, it makes me happy. This way when I do have my family, I can be as much as a kid as my own children are. Responsibility will always be there, but it should never control you. Everyone who's taking tests - I know it's that time of year - I wish you the best of luck. Know that gaming will be there ready and rarin when you're to strap down and do what you do best. I know it's EXTREMELY cliche but I'll always be a "Gamer for Life." I was born with the pad in my hand, and I shall expire with it in my hand.

Mikey G

I've been gaming solid for over 30 years- there's no real reason anyone can't. It's a legitimate hobby, like any other...

VeeKaChu

I game when I can. I stay up after everyone else goes to bed for a few minutes. I game at their nap time. Just grabbing a few minutes here and there. It's probably why my gaming has shifted more towards Shmups and less to games like Zelda or RPG's. Shmups require far less time for a quick fix.

Eltigro

Our daughter was born last August, and I think I've gotten MORE gaming in than before she was born. While babies are mostly immobile, all you have to do is wait until their ready for a nap, plop them on your chest, and you can get in a good hour or two of play time while they snuggle up. Also, I spend a lot more time gaming with my wife, as once we get the wee one off to bed we spend our time together playing.

I was planning on taking her out for mother's day, today, but instead, she opted on dropping off our daughter with the grandparents and getting in a few good rounds of Mario Kart. :)

As kids get older, and need more supervision and interaction, time might be limited somewhat, but I'm still looking forward to the day when we can deathmatch as a family.

nvision79

Yes, she has time to herself as well. She actually gets out of the house more often when she's doing her own thing; heading out for "girl's nights" and such. I'm more likely to relax at home.

BTW, our parents don't live nearby either, so we don't even have that escape plan. Our free time comes simply from cooperation.

What's so hard to believe about the idea that moms and dads can relax and have fun sometimes?

TickleMeElmo

Baff

@goddessakasha: It doesn't, which I pointed out in my comment, minus the swearing and insults -- some people love kids! Like

@Adam In Texas: Good luck! You won't be doing those 12-hour marathon gaming sessions, but smaller chunks will still be there.

@Maggie Greene: Wow, that's tough on the whole family. Was it a married couple, or on different sides? And I never could handle quarters; I'm a semester gal all the way.

Evil Tortie's Mom

Adam In Texas

Adam In Texas

there are people who can drink and play at the same time.

Gambare

Now, bills, rent, girlfriend (and a bunch of parasite housemates), I will never find a time for me to enjoy the gaming marathons that I used to have. But, the thing is, I can concentrate more on one game, rather than have a bunch of unfinished games begging for me to play them.

xrothe

Capt. Struggle Bunny

hrabbit

fleshribbon

almarota1979

bakakensai

Quarter system flies by WAY too fast.

Spoony Bard

I for one will never be giving birth to one of those ungrateful, life stealing, shit making, money spending things.

goddessakasha

We are on the quarter system. I have mixed feelings on it - it's pretty nice on the one hand (we get lots of stuff done in one year!), on the other, it's so. damn. fast.

Maggie Greene

Aleeightone

Nuts to that. I've got 2 boys, 3 and 5. And I've got twin girls arriving in 3 weeks. No, I'm not going to be pulling any marathon sessions, but you can bet your ass I'll be using free moments to play Dirt or the Grid demo. Outside of crisis situations, you can always find free time, if it's a priority.

Personal recreation *should* be a priority. And if it's not a priority, then you have to ask yourself what sort of example you're setting for your children. They learn what they see: if you're doing chores 16 hours a day and not letting yourself play or relax, then don't be surprised when your kids end up just as miserable as you.

TickleMeElmo

I have to learn the most popular instruments used in Sub Saharan Africa and India, along with all the features of Minimalism, Serialism and Expressionism and also know the differences in styles between Romantic, Baroque and Classical music, along with knowing the main techniques used in, and history of, electronic dance music. That's for my Music exam. One of 12.

The thing is, I didn't work hard enough in those two years, and in four days I will sit the test.

This weekend I spent 15 hours on Final Fantasy XII.

I reckon that for me growing up is going to have to kick in soon, or I'm going to be fucked at being an adult.

I just needed somewhere to say this. Thank you.

Krondonian

"Post your top ten games after each lengthy post@"

...and I'd be able to sort each bourgeois rant into "valid" and "not-valid".

MoaM

Lyner

Sorry to hear about your...did you say grandparentS?

Spoony Bard

catapult37

I am the queen of multitasking, however - but there's only so much multitasking you can do when a good bulk of the day in, day out work is reading.

Maggie Greene

But if people find time to play with model trains and the like, video games will still be a part of many of our lives.

yanipheonu

But as I'm sure you have figured out, you somehow find time for the things that are important to you. Doesn't matter if it's video games or kids.

I've gotten used to being busy every moment of the day - but it's nice to look forward to the days when you have nothing to do. :)

And MULTITASK!

@JUFONUK: Good God, man. You can't possibly expect anyone to READ all of that.

Spoony Bard

Voteforme2020

Like me, I went console-free from the Atari 2600 to the Wii.

Evil Tortie's Mom

@catapult37: Don't give up the degree, you have obviously worked too hard. Looks like the band will have to go, and you won't be wanting to spend time with those guys when you could be playing with the baby anyway! I mean, those little fingers are SO CUTE! wooga wooga wooga.

Evil Tortie's Mom

thegoodlife88

@Green-clad Gamer Dude: That's because you're 17. There are a lot of things I do now as a matter of course that I couldn't have imagined doing at 17. I'd get my ass kicked by my advisors if I was skipping class or shirking responsibilities (or reading) to play games, or do anything else for that matter - and rightfully so, frankly. I had plenty of time to do all sorts of stuff as an undergrad, but times (and the demands on your time) change.

Maggie Greene

Seriously, though, despite the programming of society, you don't HAVE to have children. Just b/c it's "expected" of you, doesn't mean you should. There are a lot of unhappy kids out there who have crappy lives b/c their parents thought they "had to" have kids.

Evil Tortie's Dad and I decided long ago that we'd probably be crappy parents and wouldn't want to inflict that kind of life on a kid. So we've been married longer than most of the Kotaku-ites have been alive, and we're a perfectly happy family. We have a house, a mildly complicated retirement plan, two annoying kitties, and all almost the gadgets we want.

But, like the article and Maggie's post said, there will be times you have to give up a hobby temporarily. Give it up for a couple of years in grad school, or 5-6 years till the kids go off to school, and most certainly when there's a newborn. When you have a newborn, any free moments should be spent sleeping. (I personally have kept an eye on babies long enough for mom to have a shower or bath uninterrupted).

Evil Tortie's Mom

chemical_eng_mx

Green-clad Gamer Dude

My girlfriend plays TF2 with me. But other than that she commandeers my TV for CSI or Law and Order. You probably feel similar pain.

MonkeyBiz

As a Man past his twenties and ten years shy of forty. I face a mid life crisis of the gaming kind.

To game or not to game? that is the question

As a child of the mid 80's and early nineties, video games are in my blood. my gamer heart beats Nintendo and SEGA. I have played many consoles and Arcade machines.
Owned and sold many. handed hard earned pocket and paper round money money to shops and traded my old Gen friends in for the latest and greatest next machines. Machines I wish I

there is talk of a classic golden age of gaming around the 8 - 16bit era, when machines at home lacked the raw power of the arcade behemoths. so game play was king, more depth more challenge more replay more innovation , compared to the pure adrenaline blast of the beautiful looking arcade games designed to take your money. I used to justify the price of a console games comparing how many times times playing at home would stack up against the amount spent in the arcades.

but to me the golden age of games died with the end of the Dreamcast. No longer did we have two companies that the hard core felt so strongly about making machines. two rivals who tried to win our loyalty by producing more and more elaborate, creative and wondrous works for us to sink our gaming teeth into. because of this events took place that some thought would never happen back then in those heady times (but a few secretly hoped would) Sega were creating games for other systems and Sonic and Mario appearing in the same Games.

as Gamers of that Generation we have gone from Space Invaders to Mario 64 to GTA IV, Single player to Multi-tap to LAN to Online.
Advances inf graphical power, interaction and interface. at the core the way to engage and entrance the players.

but that is the paradox as games get more involving and life like and demand more from players we simple don't have the time to commit anymore, life and responsibilities get in the way and shifting back to the old adrenaline pick up and play games is what I am craving more.

People would mock Nintendo for the lack of graphical power and strange ways of playing that the Wii and Ds would offer. Nintendo on the other hand have the finger on the pulse of our Generation of gamers. look at the sales they have.
sure GTA IV will help to shift a shed load of Xbox 360';s and PS3's but in the long run I doubt it will overtake the Nintendo sales.

My Gaming crisis is many fold. but is summed up in one sentence " I don't have the time to play games anymore"

back in the day a couple of hours of Shenmue would turn into an 8 - 12 hour marathon. I could play Actraiser round my friends house for Hours after school.
Now I cannot take more than the length of an hour to play any games.
I buy Mario Kart WII and no more heroes and I havent even played Mario Galaxy through yet But I am not Whining I don't Lament this I just cannot see how I can Viably do this.
My Wife has told me many times she loves the way I am passionate about games (Read Closet Geek) she herself is not a gamer in any shape or form. (except for Wii sports)
but still I couldn't see myself playing for hours on end like a used to.

I want to play GTA IV but I may pick it up in a few years time for cheaper (Xbox 360 included) but as for now I can wait.

for now the DS and the pick up and play games it offers satisfies my game fix.

also the Next problem is this.
should someone my age be playing games still and my Answer is Hell yes!
I don't see why people should brand what I am doing as sad or anti social.
why can people who support football teams such as Arsenal or Man United support them all their life but a man who is passionate about Games and news relating to gaming be told he is sad? I say screw that!

Gaming is my passion I don't drink or smoke or am into Football so why is my hobby less of a hobby??

I don't think it is anti social in anyway I have a friend i have known for over 16 years who I have bonded with over many a game of SF II or micro machines, and too this day we still play the old classics thanks to the VC (much to the chagrin of and bemusements of both our Missus' )

we are facing a crisis for golden generation many hardcore gamers are now married with kids or in serious relationships with commitments in life. we cannot devote the time anymore that we used to and as the generation at the forefront of gamers when is the time to give up the old ways? I hope we never have to, I wish to continue to play until I am in my old old age. ( I still think on the day I day I will hear the Music played when Mario dies in Super Mario Bros)

To Game or not to Game, There is no Question!!

I just don't know in what form

JUFONUK

I've also had to learn to work hard when it's time to work so that I can enjoy life later. This means everything from avoiding Kotaku while at work to just walking the dog and doing the dishes, when it's quite against my nature to do that before a good bit of procrastinating. If I get my stuff done, the wife is happy and there's rarely any protest if I turn on the ol console. She's pretty cool with games anyway. Let me bask in nerd envy by revealing that among the games she has quite enjoyed playing with me are Earthbound and Eternal Darkness. :-)

Anyway, this baby's going to change a lot, and I'm really looking forward to taking the time to be with my child. Who knows what will happen. Maybe handhelds will be a bigger gaming outlet for me. Maybe once he hits a sleeping schedule I'll have time later in the evenings for the big console epics (I'm looking at you, Fallout 3). Maybe I'll turn to PC gaming, since I can do more of that on my time. I think it'll be okay. For now, finals are over, the baby is a month away, and I'm cruising the streets of Liberty City daily. :-)

catapult37

Regarding gaming time: I can afford a full HD TV, PS3 and Wii (and a 360, if I wanted) - yet a time for gaming is only to be found about twice a week for a couple of hours when my two women are asleep. I wonder how Bash does it. Oh well, it's his job.

JumpmanSenior

You don't see it because your 17.....

This piece definitely made me feel a little better about all the crazies going on in my life. Full time work, part time grad-school, and spending time with my girl-fiend has castrated my gaming habits. Summer time brings relief. I am not married with kids, but I understand the source material for this article. I have found I can game early on in the semester before the shit hits the fan and I have to buckle down!

MonkeyBiz

Yeah, you'd think that. But.

Im 23 and have recently decided to settle in with my more-important-than-pie girlfriend. Now with bills to pay and such, and more people to care for than just myself, gaming is no longer my number one priority like it was before. Suddenly, those hours at work become more important, when they mean we can both rest easy having bills and everything paid.

Plus, since we don't play the same games (except Gears, which for some reason beyond me she loves) and because so many of the best games are a single player experience, I find myself watching movies more/etc with her than gaming.

Thats not to say I dont slip out to the living room at midnight for a few hours of good old fashioned gaming, but its nowhere near what I used to do. Part of me longs for the 12 hour gaming marathons I used to have. But theres another part (not the organ in my pants, but the organ in my chest) that enjoys spending time with her more.

If anything, its not adulthood that ruins video games, its girls. :P

Komrade_Kayce

Green-clad Gamer Dude

Xayzer

sarusa

Ays

enewtabie

After that - here I come Liberty City!

Spoony Bard

Mustakrakish

SpearXXI

If you ever need tips on how to manage your time, feel free to holler :)

Congrats on grad school though - what are you going for?

Spoony Bard

the_answer

That's really funny that this is posted now. Super interesting, thanks for the story. Nice to know it's possible!

karasu is my homeboy

BlackDove