Riding the Vomit Elevator - Kotaku Comments

Riding the Vomit Elevator

GoldenGotGame — Fri, 09 May 2008 06:57:30 MDT

@ Brian Ashcraft: "it was like an alien was slaughtered there". I'm fuckin' dying over here! I don't think you could've described any better or more hilariously.

GoldenGotGame

Riding the Vomit Elevator

Sabre_Justice: Okay, no more long name. — Fri, 09 May 2008 06:37:37 MDT

I really feel sorry for whoever chucked all that up. I don't think they would have been in any condition to clean that up...

Sabre_Justice: Okay, no more long name.

Riding the Vomit Elevator

SolInvictus — Fri, 09 May 2008 06:13:16 MDT

That was gold. My coworkers are probably wondering what had me laughing.

SolInvictus

Riding the Vomit Elevator

Spoffoth — Fri, 09 May 2008 05:31:23 MDT

That story horrified me, made me laugh and warmed my heart in equal measures. Best Night Note yet.

Spoffoth

Riding the Vomit Elevator

Zoc — Fri, 09 May 2008 04:21:28 MDT

"a younger kid who lives in the same apartment."

I know it can be easy to lose your English, so be careful. You just said that that kid lives with you, even though that's not what you meant. You should have said "apartment building."

Zoc

Riding the Vomit Elevator

ArticulacyFTW — Fri, 09 May 2008 00:37:20 MDT

That is one of the greatest stories I have ever heard.

ArticulacyFTW

Riding the Vomit Elevator

MidnightScott17 — Thu, 08 May 2008 21:04:28 MDT

ewwww

MidnightScott17

Riding the Vomit Elevator

TheJeanGenie — Thu, 08 May 2008 20:18:57 MDT

I threw up at school when I was 11 or so, and didn't clean it up, although, in my defence, it was at least restricted to a cubicle in the bathroom.

TheJeanGenie

Riding the Vomit Elevator

Books — Thu, 08 May 2008 20:00:01 MDT

+50 Points for using my name in your post...Ramen

Books

Riding the Vomit Elevator

Quine — Thu, 08 May 2008 19:42:12 MDT

Wow. that is a BAD coincidence.

I had something like that the other day (nowhere NEAR as bad of course). Some stupid website called me and played "Never gonna give you up," and I only use my cell for emergencies, and something very unfortunate had recently happened between me and my friend that wasn't either of our faults but made things awkard.

So I tell her that some douchebag used some stupid website to send me a call and was too rude to even do it themselves as a joke...and she says it was her who did it. That was a really awkward night.

Quine

Riding the Vomit Elevator

Interstella5555 — Thu, 08 May 2008 18:12:21 MDT

awkward....That's probably the best thing you could have said as well, as soon as you started telling the story she was probably dreading the moment you stopped talking...

Interstella5555

Riding the Vomit Elevator

Krytha — Thu, 08 May 2008 15:52:34 MDT

Ugh. Nothing like riding the vomit comet to get you in the mood for dinner.

Krytha

Riding the Vomit Elevator

jrleek — Thu, 08 May 2008 15:22:52 MDT

@greatinsight:

I don't know about Japan, but now that I have 2 little kids, I get sick all the time. Little kids are little germ factories. I've been getting sick almost every month since my first daughter entered pre-school.

jrleek

Riding the Vomit Elevator

braagh — Thu, 08 May 2008 14:55:03 MDT

The title made me think of "Stairway to Heaven."
Not a good analogy.

braagh

Riding the Vomit Elevator

geela234 — Thu, 08 May 2008 14:29:19 MDT

Amazing story, i can't imagine how the guy who had to clean that up must have felt.

geela234

Riding the Vomit Elevator

Gidim — Thu, 08 May 2008 14:14:33 MDT

@greatinsight: Doctors only getting paid when you're well might explain it.

Gidim

Riding the Vomit Elevator

Bokusatsu_Tenshi — Thu, 08 May 2008 13:50:29 MDT

Bash's everyday vomiting stories are making me remember a certain movie...
[www.ghostofthefuture.com]

Bokusatsu_Tenshi

Riding the Vomit Elevator

art_zombie — Thu, 08 May 2008 12:58:31 MDT

I bow to you Mr. Bash. Being a vomitiphobic (yes, that's real) I could never have handled myself in such a situation without having a major breakdown. Considering this sounds like the peak of what has been a rough 2 weeks of uncontrollable gastric release I can only pray that karma owes you like 2 weeks in Tahiti for taking it like a man.

art_zombie

Riding the Vomit Elevator

Shigamado — Thu, 08 May 2008 12:56:36 MDT

How often does your kid ride that elevator? There may be some connection between it and your kid vomiting. Is it giving off any fumes?

Shigamado

Riding the Vomit Elevator

Billkwando — Thu, 08 May 2008 12:25:53 MDT

@Edmon: Is it worse that I LOL'd, or that I checked to see if you were banned?

LMAO.

I did throw up on the DC Metro coming home late one night (drunk) from seeing They Might Be Giants at the 9:30 Club.

Luckily the car was empty so I just switched cars at the next stop.

One of the few times I've gotten drunk actually.

Billkwando

Riding the Vomit Elevator

deathbunny — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:22:34 MDT

oh god. I might have had that same virus/whatever. My family lived in osaka when I was 10-12, and I contracted some ridiculously insane stomach virus that wouldn't let me keep anything down for a couple solid days, and then I felt better kind of all at once. It happened around the same time of year.

I wonder if it's some kind of seasonal bacteria associated with the cicadas.

of course, I'm willing to blame anything on those creatures. The incessant chirping... *shudder*

deathbunny

Riding the Vomit Elevator

ThisCharmingMan — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:19:09 MDT

Dude, you HAVE to make 'riding the vomit elevator' a tag for shitty games. Hilarious.

ThisCharmingMan

Riding the Vomit Elevator

bodmodkub — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:10:11 MDT

Sorry to hear that mini Bash is sick again. it seems like your family has the puking curse! :(

bodmodkub

Riding the Vomit Elevator

kylenalepa — Thu, 08 May 2008 10:55:21 MDT

@hondo: I've got a good puke story from when I lived in Japan. Totally gross, too, so if you're eating, maybe wait and read this later.

Basically, I was riding the train to school, and for some reason, I was getting really motion sick that day. Maybe it was because of how crowded the train was, maybe it was the heat, who knows? All I know is that I was on the train when I suddenly couldn't hold it in anymore and ended up puking. Only, none of it got anywhere: I had enough self-control that I was able to keep it all in my mouth.

As my cheeks bulged because of the massive amount of vomit, I knew there was no way I was going to be able to hold it in long enough to get off at the next stop and spit it out in a trash can or toilet, so, begrudgingly, I did the only thing I could do: I swallowed it all back down. The worst part was how much the acidity of the vomit burned my throat. Totally sucked.

So, yeah, maybe there's something about Japan that makes people puke. Still an awesome country, though. :)

kylenalepa

Riding the Vomit Elevator

dabu — Thu, 08 May 2008 10:43:39 MDT

Either mash and the elevator barfing kid are MADE to be life long friends...or they're quite possibly the most destructive dynamic duo in japan.

dabu

Riding the Vomit Elevator

HootieMac: Section 9 Reject — Thu, 08 May 2008 10:42:47 MDT

@Brian Ashcraft: Happy news. Fingers crossed here, too!

HootieMac: Section 9 Reject

Riding the Vomit Elevator

MattGS — Thu, 08 May 2008 10:19:16 MDT

Riding the Vomit Elevator ... I really thought you were going to post another Sasha Grey story.

MattGS

Riding the Vomit Elevator

erlik — Thu, 08 May 2008 09:59:05 MDT

That's what I would've said to her, I mean.

erlik

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erlik — Thu, 08 May 2008 09:58:03 MDT

Don't let your kid ride the elevator when he's drunk.

Sheesh.

A little common sense, please.

erlik

Riding the Vomit Elevator

Zoobear — Thu, 08 May 2008 09:55:24 MDT

I'm glad you went for soba in the end.

Does the elevators have carpet walls stuck up with magnets?

Just tear them off and lay them on the floor of the elevator.

[not from previous experience in the slightest....]

Zoobear

Riding the Vomit Elevator

MelodyKitn — Thu, 08 May 2008 09:39:50 MDT

Wow, I just.. yeah, there's just no words to continue going on in a situation like that. Let's just hope you miss out on any other vomit rooms the neighbor's kid happens to decorate.

Hope the Mrs. and the Mini are doing better.

MelodyKitn

Riding the Vomit Elevator

hondo — Thu, 08 May 2008 09:38:23 MDT

Holy crap! Is Japan puke central or something? This isn't the first time I've heard vomit stories about Japan. I've read about violent projectile vomit in public bathrooms, about salary men passing out and puking their guts out in the subways. Man! Japan just can't stop!

I couldn't even tell you the last time I puked.

As for the mother. I sympathize with her. My daughters a puker too.If she gets sick, she'll throw up at least once. And if she where to throw up in an elevator I'd probably leave it too. The well being of my child if more important to me then cleaning up an elevator. You couldn't just leave your kid alone, sick out of their mind, to go clean up vomit. It sucks. It really does. I would feel really bad if my kid did that, but my first job is to take care of them plus all they usually want at those times is a parent.

I hope your family feels better soon. ^_^

hondo

Riding the Vomit Elevator

Beatboxtaun — Thu, 08 May 2008 09:29:09 MDT

Ha ha! That's friggin funny! But nothing good ol' yakisoba can't fix! Mmmmmmmm! Yes, I'm still hungry after hearing this story! Once you mentioned yakisoba and how much I love 'em, it didn't matter how gross the rest of the story was!

Beatboxtaun

Riding the Vomit Elevator

TonyRockyHorror — Thu, 08 May 2008 09:26:25 MDT

jesus, Bash! it seems like violent vomiting is a family curse for you! you can't escape it in all its many forms. :(

sorry to hear it. hope mini-bash and mrs. bash are doing better!

TonyRockyHorror

Riding the Vomit Elevator

rawg — Thu, 08 May 2008 09:24:17 MDT

Haha, I love vomit stories. My favorite episode of Family guy is the one where Peter gets some free epicac (sp?) from the pharmacy and has a vomit party where everyone is barfing on each other. Ridiculous, I know, but I was on the floor laughing...LOL. There's something wrong with me.

rawg

Riding the Vomit Elevator

ST19AG_WGreymon — Thu, 08 May 2008 09:24:01 MDT

Wow...

ST19AG_WGreymon

Riding the Vomit Elevator

s1ipstream — Thu, 08 May 2008 09:22:36 MDT

@kylenalepa: Maybe it's sympathy barfing, ya know? Like Mini-Bash is coping with his mom being in the hospital by trying to go through what she's going through...? I dunno, never underestimate a mommy/child relationship...

s1ipstream

Riding the Vomit Elevator

Fierfaerie — Thu, 08 May 2008 09:22:14 MDT

That's hilarious and disgusting. I don't know how I would even begin to clean out an elevator after someone threw up in it. Water hose maybe?

I have that foot-in-mouth tendency as well. Last week I was complaining about the Old Navy credit card to someone, and it turned out they managed an Old Navy. AWKWARD!

Fierfaerie

Riding the Vomit Elevator

doubtful — Thu, 08 May 2008 09:10:12 MDT

You guys don't have self cleaning elevators? Oh man, my mental image of Japan must be way off! :)

Seriously, that's disgusting, and I'm sorry you had to experience. I'm sorry anyone would ever have to experience it.

doubtful

Riding the Vomit Elevator

3inst3in — Thu, 08 May 2008 09:04:05 MDT

why didn't she clean it up? ew!

3inst3in

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Sollus — Thu, 08 May 2008 09:03:35 MDT

@doesntlikedede:

I could use a warm bowl of cottage cheese after this story.

Sollus

Riding the Vomit Elevator

Derigor — Thu, 08 May 2008 09:00:58 MDT

HAHAHAHAHHAAHHA "it was like an alien was slaughtered in there"

Oh christ, Cant breathe, the look on her face musta been priceless.

Derigor

Riding the Vomit Elevator

drlard — Thu, 08 May 2008 08:53:50 MDT

gahhhh i've always despised puke sooo much....

i've kinda learned to get over it...as it seems my cat pukes almost as much as your family does! haha

then there was this time that my girlfriend had food poisoning.....like....REALLY bad....ew

drlard

Riding the Vomit Elevator

doesntlikedede — Thu, 08 May 2008 08:48:42 MDT

All this talk about vomiting and noodles got me even more hungry -.- (hopefully breakfast is ready soon!)

Dont you just hate convos like that? you cant help yourself but to tell the story in gruesome detail while at the same time rant about it only to find out(at some point) that the person you told it to had something to do with it (or knew someone that did)

Happened to me several times. Lets just say, we stopped being friends soon after xD

doesntlikedede

Riding the Vomit Elevator

Sollus — Thu, 08 May 2008 08:44:24 MDT

Pictures or it never happened.

Sollus

Riding the Vomit Elevator

KirbySS — Thu, 08 May 2008 08:42:03 MDT

Oh man that's awkward. I remember I went to a convention in Sydney once, and the train lines were being worked on, so me and my then girlfriend had to take a bus there, provided by CityRail. It was a nice bus though, so that was fine.

Though about ten minutes from Central Station, this fat kid in front of use turned his head into the isle and just let 'er rip. He went for a while, too. The more agile people like myself were fine getting out, because we could kinda vault over it using the arm rests, but I felt bad for the little old ladies up the back.

KirbySS

Riding the Vomit Elevator

Edmon — Thu, 08 May 2008 08:37:35 MDT

And so he became known as Mr barfcraft. Along with Ms Barfcraft and mini-barf.

And the carpets were never the same again.

Edmon

Riding the Vomit Elevator

KM91 — Thu, 08 May 2008 08:37:18 MDT

Man, that's nasty. I've only vomited that much once. And that was when I got food poisoning from a grilled chicken sandwich from Burger King. I first puked all over the bathroom, missing the toilet and I ended up getting all over the sink and bathtub(My mom had to clean it up). I ended up puking for half of the night and I fell asleep briefly to wake up at 2:00 in the morning to start puking again and I didn't have the strength to go back to my bed so I fell asleep on the bathroom floor. Needless to say, I missed school that day. And that was the only day so far that I ever missed a day of high school. But from now on, I'm never eating anything grilled from a fast food restaurant again.

KM91

Riding the Vomit Elevator

LionheartAce — Thu, 08 May 2008 08:33:13 MDT

Not sweet. Vomit everywhere.

LionheartAce

Riding the Vomit Elevator

kylenalepa — Thu, 08 May 2008 08:28:50 MDT

Maybe Mini-Bash and Mrs. Bashcraft have some sort of puke connection? One gets sick, then the other gets sick.

Hope everybody gets well soon!

kylenalepa

Riding the Vomit Elevator

Shiryu — Thu, 08 May 2008 08:27:45 MDT

Soudns like sometheing out of the "Exorcist". Disgusting!

Shiryu

Riding the Vomit Elevator

Angryrider — Thu, 08 May 2008 08:24:33 MDT

I hop barfing children doesn't become an epidemic in Japan.

Angryrider

Riding the Vomit Elevator

AlexDitto — Thu, 08 May 2008 08:24:21 MDT

So awkward. I hate when I put myself in situations like these, but it was totally her fault. For not cleaning up.

That's pretty funny, though. Your life IS like a sitcom. You should write a book!

AlexDitto

Riding the Vomit Elevator

Billkwando — Thu, 08 May 2008 08:23:02 MDT

Lots of "gomen"ing all around, I'm sure.

Tales from the Ashukurafuto Vomitorium.

Billkwando

Riding the Vomit Elevator

fecalchaos — Thu, 08 May 2008 08:22:04 MDT

Bashcroft, your life over the last three weeks has been subjected to more puke than any man should have to endure in a lifetime.

I would salute you, but I'd hate for it to butterfly effect into another fit of vomiting in your immediate family.

fecalchaos

Riding the Vomit Elevator

天水 — Thu, 08 May 2008 08:18:34 MDT

@greatinsight: A large part of the problem could be stress. I got 4 different colds this last winter just because it was such a stressful time for me. Considering how stressed out and overworked Japanese people can be, it wouldn't surprise me if that's part of the reason.

天水

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thebluick — Thu, 08 May 2008 08:16:43 MDT

your life seems like a sitcom sometimes.

thebluick

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Krackatoa — Thu, 08 May 2008 08:15:02 MDT

Barf.

Is it strange that it makes me think of River City Ransom before it makes me think of vomit?

Krackatoa

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Robotube — Thu, 08 May 2008 08:14:53 MDT

@FranUnFine: Same. Emetophobic FTW!

Robotube

Riding the Vomit Elevator

greatinsight — Thu, 08 May 2008 08:14:48 MDT

Bashy, your family seem to get ill on a fairly regular basis. I've noticed that about the people here in Japan, it doesn't take all that much to lay them low. I don't know if it's the result of a somewhat molly-coddled society or if it has something to do with the way that Japanese doctors tend to over-medicate for everything and thus people's bodies don't build up natural resistances, but it sure is frequent.

Of course, couple that with the tendancy to never take sick days and you have prime environments for the spreading of germs.

greatinsight

Riding the Vomit Elevator

Robotube — Thu, 08 May 2008 08:13:41 MDT

Bashcraft: I think you should consider probably starting a Kotaku column about vomit stories exclusively. It seems it's been a recurring theme from about as far back as the girl who puked Banana Cakes on the train. :)

Robotube

Riding the Vomit Elevator

Brian Ashcraft — Thu, 08 May 2008 08:10:18 MDT

@s1ipstream:
Fuck if I know dude! I've only thrown up like four times in my entire life!

@HootieMac: Section 9 Reject: She *might* come home tomorrow. Fingers crossed.

Brian Ashcraft

Riding the Vomit Elevator

I Spit On Your Comments — Thu, 08 May 2008 08:09:39 MDT

Leave a flaming bag of vomit in front of her door.

She'll never know it was you.

I Spit On Your Comments

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HootieMac: Section 9 Reject — Thu, 08 May 2008 08:08:07 MDT

I can't remember the last time an inch of vomit made me laugh so much. Good, good stuffs.

Is Mrs. Bash back from round 2 at the hospital yet??

HootieMac: Section 9 Reject

Riding the Vomit Elevator

Krumm — Thu, 08 May 2008 08:07:23 MDT

Well... she admited that her kid did it (and she didn't clean it up) even after what you told her... hahahaha man she is either a very brave woman or just plain dumb.

Krumm

Riding the Vomit Elevator

phicaluk — Thu, 08 May 2008 08:06:02 MDT

I thought Japanese people were supposed to be super-polite and apologetic about everything. Shouldn't she have offered to clean the vomit up and then ceremonially run herself through or something? I really need to update my stereotypes.

phicaluk

Riding the Vomit Elevator

Sabastian_Chadwick_McGirt — Thu, 08 May 2008 08:05:31 MDT

B. Ashcraft, I wanna thank you. Thank you so much for posting that story so that I could read it RIGHT after eating breakfast.

Sabastian_Chadwick_McGirt

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FranUnFine — Thu, 08 May 2008 08:04:31 MDT

@MykalBloom: I laughed, too.

I mean it's somehow sad, especially for Mini-Bash, but it's funny at the same time, especially the description. and I say that as someone who is TERRIBLY afraid of the stuff described, so much I can't even type it out.

FranUnFine

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karateka — Thu, 08 May 2008 08:04:20 MDT

Wow...so many people throwing up over there. Is that common. I'd be worried if there something catchy. Your kid OK now?

karateka

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s1ipstream — Thu, 08 May 2008 08:04:20 MDT

Seriously Bashcraft, what the hell kind of genetic coding do your wife and kid have that it's like barf central over there? I've thrown up maybe, I dunno, four times in my life so reading about all these barf exploits just makes me wonder about what's going on...

s1ipstream

Riding the Vomit Elevator

Spiderbait — Thu, 08 May 2008 08:03:44 MDT

Awkward moments FTW!

I pity the woman more than yourself since you weren't at fault in this case and so it'll be more awkward for her than yourself tomorrow.

Spiderbait

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Master Saji — Thu, 08 May 2008 08:01:45 MDT

Sign me up!

Master Saji

Riding the Vomit Elevator

RamanaMaharshi — Thu, 08 May 2008 07:59:36 MDT

Don't most Japanese have a vomit fetish? Not that I would know ;)

RamanaMaharshi

Riding the Vomit Elevator

KaneRobot — Thu, 08 May 2008 07:58:01 MDT

"Riding the vomit elevator" is itching to be a metaphor for something.

KaneRobot

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Clushje — Thu, 08 May 2008 07:58:00 MDT

So very awkward.

Clushje

Riding the Vomit Elevator

MykalBloom — Thu, 08 May 2008 07:57:39 MDT

Either that story was particularly hilarious, or I'm just up to early. Either way, I had a good laugh.

MykalBloom

Riding the Vomit Elevator

KoopaTroopa — Thu, 08 May 2008 07:56:03 MDT

Why wouldn't the mother clean it up? If my child was to puke in a public area, you damn well know I will be cleaning it up. That's plain old NASTY!

KoopaTroopa

Riding the Vomit Elevator

Xerxes 8933A — Thu, 08 May 2008 07:55:26 MDT

Oh is right. I mean, what are you supposed to say after that? It's hard to just ignore and carry on, but you can't really say anything to the person, or it would be rude, and you can't really apologize for being rude earlier, as she would know you are just being polite, and don't really mean it. Damn it's hard to be nice to everyone without looking like your trying to be nice.
Last time I got stuck in a situation like that, I just quietly backed away and left the province for a few years, seemed to work best.

Xerxes 8933A

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The Crimson Phantom — Thu, 08 May 2008 07:54:46 MDT

That's....incredibly awkward. I seem to always find myself in situations where I say the worst thing possible. Not fun.

The Crimson Phantom

Riding the Vomit Elevator

Hauler — Thu, 08 May 2008 07:50:42 MDT

Ok, if I have start a band our first CD is definitely going to be called "Riding the Vomit Elevator".

Hauler