<![CDATA[The Onion Outlines GTA IV's New Features - Kotaku Comments]]> http://cache.gawker.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/kotaku.com.png <![CDATA[The Onion Outlines GTA IV's New Features - Kotaku Comments]]> http://kotaku.com Wed, 07 May 2008 17:33:43 MDT Wed, 07 May 2008 17:33:43 MDT http://kotaku.com/387844/the-onion-outlines-gta-ivs-new-features <![CDATA[The Onion Outlines GTA IV's New Features]]> http://kotaku.com/387844/the-onion-outlines-gta-ivs-new-features#c5582643 @Sqwerell:
Sorry!!! It effected me too!!! The Pope won't pay for my Twizzlers and Sprite at the movie theatres anymore!!!! These unlawful sins need to be rid of ASAP!!!


Ignorance's Enemy

]]> 9:387844:c5582643 Wed, 07 May 2008 17:33:43 MDT <![CDATA[The Onion Outlines GTA IV's New Features]]> http://kotaku.com/387844/the-onion-outlines-gta-ivs-new-features#c5571368 @Tohdman6: It started in the great state of Wisconsin -by UW Madison students.

I noticed in the game the cell phone carrier is "Badger" and a street is named aptly "Onion". -Nice shoutouts.

Punkateer

]]> 9:387844:c5571368 Wed, 07 May 2008 10:37:39 MDT <![CDATA[The Onion Outlines GTA IV's New Features]]> http://kotaku.com/387844/the-onion-outlines-gta-ivs-new-features#c5566171 Rather unfunny for an Onion story. The only funny one was the congressmen one.

seafisch

]]> 9:387844:c5566171 Wed, 07 May 2008 07:03:04 MDT <![CDATA[The Onion Outlines GTA IV's New Features]]> http://kotaku.com/387844/the-onion-outlines-gta-ivs-new-features#c5564677 Dude spiders are fucking scary shit. Nothing needs 8 legs. NOTHING.

I have two phobias actually (the other is my deep fear of krackens and by extension the ocean) but the spider one is rational. I realize that makes it not a phobia. Still.

ConstantCupcake

]]> 9:387844:c5564677 Wed, 07 May 2008 01:23:25 MDT <![CDATA[The Onion Outlines GTA IV's New Features]]> http://kotaku.com/387844/the-onion-outlines-gta-ivs-new-features#c5564040 @Tohdman6: lol. Someone doesn't "get it"

mva5580

]]> 9:387844:c5564040 Tue, 06 May 2008 23:30:33 MDT <![CDATA[The Onion Outlines GTA IV's New Features]]> http://kotaku.com/387844/the-onion-outlines-gta-ivs-new-features#c5563964 @Tohdman6:

I don't see any justification in that. At all.

Anyways, this wasn't the best Onion article. Then again, I've only read a few and my fave remains the office ninja flipping out.

dunetiger : one of the naerds

]]> 9:387844:c5563964 Tue, 06 May 2008 23:21:54 MDT <![CDATA[The Onion Outlines GTA IV's New Features]]> http://kotaku.com/387844/the-onion-outlines-gta-ivs-new-features#c5563441 The Onion needs to die. I am pretty sure that The Onion started in my home state but that doesn't change the fact they are lib city.

Tohdman6

]]> 9:387844:c5563441 Tue, 06 May 2008 22:35:58 MDT <![CDATA[The Onion Outlines GTA IV's New Features]]> http://kotaku.com/387844/the-onion-outlines-gta-ivs-new-features#c5562323 funny ass article for one of the greatest games i've played.

deathtastic

]]> 9:387844:c5562323 Tue, 06 May 2008 21:18:27 MDT <![CDATA[The Onion Outlines GTA IV's New Features]]> http://kotaku.com/387844/the-onion-outlines-gta-ivs-new-features#c5561225 @Ignorance's Enemy:
Gawd, stop instilling these thoughts into my mind! I have to pray for like, a month to repent for this!

Sqwerell

]]> 9:387844:c5561225 Tue, 06 May 2008 20:27:45 MDT <![CDATA[The Onion Outlines GTA IV's New Features]]> http://kotaku.com/387844/the-onion-outlines-gta-ivs-new-features#c5561199 @Sqwerell:
zOMG, soliciting prostitutes is nightmarish. Could not even imagine that horribleness, that or driving drunk in a car that you stole by using a gun!!!!

Ignorance's Enemy

]]> 9:387844:c5561199 Tue, 06 May 2008 20:26:14 MDT <![CDATA[The Onion Outlines GTA IV's New Features]]> http://kotaku.com/387844/the-onion-outlines-gta-ivs-new-features#c5560736 Psh, people don't learn in Jersey.

man_in_gauze

]]> 9:387844:c5560736 Tue, 06 May 2008 20:01:29 MDT <![CDATA[The Onion Outlines GTA IV's New Features]]> http://kotaku.com/387844/the-onion-outlines-gta-ivs-new-features#c5560715 The Onion needs to get Herbert Kornfeld to rip on Nico for not being OG enough.

cactaur

]]> 9:387844:c5560715 Tue, 06 May 2008 20:00:31 MDT <![CDATA[The Onion Outlines GTA IV's New Features]]> http://kotaku.com/387844/the-onion-outlines-gta-ivs-new-features#c5560678 shit, niko mustve had some severe spider trauma if he has no problem with bike jumps or heli-bailouts.

squidboy007

]]> 9:387844:c5560678 Tue, 06 May 2008 19:58:44 MDT <![CDATA[The Onion Outlines GTA IV's New Features]]> http://kotaku.com/387844/the-onion-outlines-gta-ivs-new-features#c5560651 @Cruithne:
Stop this madness! I can't imagine what's next. At least it can't be as bad as being able to solicit prostitutes. I can take comfort in the fact that people aren't that amoral.

Sqwerell

]]> 9:387844:c5560651 Tue, 06 May 2008 19:56:56 MDT <![CDATA[The Onion Outlines GTA IV's New Features]]> http://kotaku.com/387844/the-onion-outlines-gta-ivs-new-features#c5560551 Finally! Now I can buy potions again.

NewSc2

]]> 9:387844:c5560551 Tue, 06 May 2008 19:51:28 MDT <![CDATA[The Onion Outlines GTA IV's New Features]]> http://kotaku.com/387844/the-onion-outlines-gta-ivs-new-features#c5560319 I've played the game, and yes, you can steal cars.
Tomorrow, I'm going to try buying a gun.

Cruithne

]]> 9:387844:c5560319 Tue, 06 May 2008 19:37:39 MDT <![CDATA[The Onion Outlines GTA IV's New Features]]> http://kotaku.com/387844/the-onion-outlines-gta-ivs-new-features#c5560232 Holy shit, I can steal cars now? This is downright immoral! Alert Congress immediately!

Sqwerell

]]> 9:387844:c5560232 Tue, 06 May 2008 19:33:14 MDT <![CDATA[The Onion Outlines GTA IV's New Features]]> http://kotaku.com/387844/the-onion-outlines-gta-ivs-new-features#c5560226 @Trowble (XBL/PSN):
Don't seem to recall the lawyer you're talking about. Danny Glover??? Lenny Kravitz??? John Cena??? Or that one Jack guy......form Jack in a Box???

Ignorance's Enemy

]]> 9:387844:c5560226 Tue, 06 May 2008 19:32:51 MDT <![CDATA[The Onion Outlines GTA IV's New Features]]> http://kotaku.com/387844/the-onion-outlines-gta-ivs-new-features#c5560148 @Asper:
@Grey Gecko:
LMAo. Ai can haz ope n kontainers?!? I kidd I kidd.

Ignorance's Enemy

]]> 9:387844:c5560148 Tue, 06 May 2008 19:29:06 MDT <![CDATA[The Onion Outlines GTA IV's New Features]]> http://kotaku.com/387844/the-onion-outlines-gta-ivs-new-features#c5560051 My favorites:

-Every other mission is to kill a congressman who condemned the game's three previous versions
-After 10 hours of continuous game play, a subliminal message flashes on the screen telling you to try playing the game in real life
-You can steal cars

Oh the irony! I love it! Funny how The Onion doesn't mention anything about a certain lawyer.

Trowble (XBL/PSN)

]]> 9:387844:c5560051 Tue, 06 May 2008 19:24:52 MDT <![CDATA[The Onion Outlines GTA IV's New Features]]> http://kotaku.com/387844/the-onion-outlines-gta-ivs-new-features#c5559988 [i]."Special cheat code allows players to experience legal consequences of their actions".[/i]

LMAO! The Onion always cracks me up

string_theory

]]> 9:387844:c5559988 Tue, 06 May 2008 19:22:14 MDT <![CDATA[The Onion Outlines GTA IV's New Features]]> http://kotaku.com/387844/the-onion-outlines-gta-ivs-new-features#c5559820 @Asper: same here D=

Grey Gecko

]]> 9:387844:c5559820 Tue, 06 May 2008 19:13:52 MDT <![CDATA[The Onion Outlines GTA IV's New Features]]> http://kotaku.com/387844/the-onion-outlines-gta-ivs-new-features#c5559741 "Though it doesn't affect the game at all, your character is severely afraid of spiders"

This makes me think of, I'm almost positive it was Crencente's, story about the beer and the spider. Since reading that, open containers left out for extended periods are dumped out. Without exception.

Asper

]]> 9:387844:c5559741 Tue, 06 May 2008 19:10:51 MDT <![CDATA[The Onion Outlines GTA IV's New Features]]> http://kotaku.com/387844/the-onion-outlines-gta-ivs-new-features#c5559728 Nico?

Umm... Niko? :P

Ignatius

]]> 9:387844:c5559728 Tue, 06 May 2008 19:10:14 MDT <![CDATA[The Onion Outlines GTA IV's New Features]]> http://kotaku.com/387844/the-onion-outlines-gta-ivs-new-features#c5559712 I really enjoy GTA IV... it's a much more mature game than its predecessors.

I actually try to avoid infringing the law in this game: I take the cab, spare the life of enemies if given the option and try to remain loyal to my friends.

Of course I get the occasional temptation to steal, beat up or kill some people for the heck of it but I am really impressed by all the morality calls you can make now.

interstate78

]]> 9:387844:c5559712 Tue, 06 May 2008 19:09:24 MDT <![CDATA[The Onion Outlines GTA IV's New Features]]> http://kotaku.com/387844/the-onion-outlines-gta-ivs-new-features#c5559701 I didn't think this was as funny as some of The Onion's other stuff. Decent, not great. You want a great Onion piece, search for "five blades"

PollockRoc

]]> 9:387844:c5559701 Tue, 06 May 2008 19:08:48 MDT <![CDATA[The Onion Outlines GTA IV's New Features]]> http://kotaku.com/387844/the-onion-outlines-gta-ivs-new-features#c5559679 jersey? can i still get radioactive there?

hellboy997

]]> 9:387844:c5559679 Tue, 06 May 2008 19:07:35 MDT