Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists - Kotaku Comments

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

Purple Dave — Thu, 01 May 2008 13:29:36 MDT

Someday there will come a point when a young kid comes home with a Duke Nukem Forever box and proudly shows off this cool new character to his daddy. And daddy will remember back to when he was a child, and _his_ daddy used to regale him with tales of how he used to play Duke Nukem games in his youth.

Purple Dave

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

odnet — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 12:17:48 MDT

I bet the dreamcast version is gonna rule!

odnet

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

Derigor — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 08:08:04 MDT

Cant they hand this game over to the guys at CryTek? If those guys can make a game that is out now that I can only play in 10 years... That should balance out the time Paradox around Duke Nukem Forever and produce a game that I can play NOW....
That or they will announce finally that Serious Sam is Duke Nukem and we have all been playing DNF since those games debuted. Seriously Serious.

Derigor

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

Purple Dave — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 00:40:53 MDT

Do you win a special award for a game when all the original programmers have died of old age by the time the game is ready for release? Maybe they should all get lifetime achievement awards or something.

Purple Dave

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

scruffy, the janitor — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 23:57:48 MDT

It'll still have to come with a cure for at least one kind of cancer

scruffy, the janitor

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

Zunnoab — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 23:51:26 MDT

@Ctsephion:
Personally, I think people will joke about it more if it actually comes out, especially if it's a commercial success. I suppose it if comes out to an abysmal reception it would be even more of a joke. Knowing Duke Nukem though, I bet there will be in game gags about how long the game took to come out too. I was actually excited about this game, when I first heard about it. Now it's more of a burning curiosity rather than a desire to run out and buy it on release.

Zunnoab

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

boopadoo — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 23:18:27 MDT

"...the existence of an in-game forklift..."

THANK GOD!

boopadoo

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

Orionsaint — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 22:31:11 MDT

Duke kinda looks like Bruce Willis these days

Orionsaint

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

ShikiMSHTS — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 22:15:24 MDT

"You don't want this to be No More Heroes Forever, do you?"

ShikiMSHTS

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

Frank — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 21:49:21 MDT

Is it just me, or is the acronym DNF used during races for "Did Not Finish?"

Frank

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

CatPope — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 21:11:35 MDT

I remember running Nukem on our old lab computers. It was weird. They weren't powerful enough to really run it, but instead of skipping, they just ran in slow motion.

Also, we hid the game by changing the folder to "hidden." Back in the day, that showed you had mad skills.

CatPope

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

hoopesk2 — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 21:09:33 MDT

The day this game is released, the world is going to end, I swear.

hoopesk2

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

Americo — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 20:23:30 MDT

I'm gonna be playing this on the Xbox 360 that I'm buying tonight with GTA4. =)

Americo

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

UFO — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 20:17:19 MDT

@aradamis: Being the fps fan that i am, i thought the whole game was a joke!
*Evil laughter X20*
:P

UFO

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

mcool93 — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 20:16:16 MDT

This game was in development longer than any game ever!! It has no choice but to be the best game ever!!

mcool93

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

BigSassy — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 19:49:05 MDT

All I need is for the multi-player to be just as fun as Duke3D was so long ago. If I can have an awesome time online with my friends then I'll be buying it on launch day.

BigSassy

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

DireWombat — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 19:44:26 MDT

I'm sorry, but I have to dispute the title of this article ("Your Quarterly Reminder that Duke Nukem Forever Exists").

I contend that claiming that DNF "exists" grossly oversimplifies the complex physics surrounding the nature of this game.

At this point, I think it's pretty clear that DNF exists in a perpetual state of quantum uncertainty, simultaneously existing and not-existing unless it is eventually observed by the gaming community, thus collapsing its wavefunction into a deterministic state of "Game" or "Un-game."

Sort of like Schrödinger's cat, but with low-res strippers.

DireWombat

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

Chopper_Mike — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 19:41:26 MDT

People will buy it... if it ever come out

*in a game store*
"Hey Mark! Check this out!"
"What?... Duke Nukem? Maaaaaan! I loved to play those games!"
"We were like 9 or something hahaha"
"Yeah... But those were the times!
"Let's buy it!!"

Chopper_Mike

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

marmidukestank — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 19:12:12 MDT

How much cash has been poured into this flaccid joke of a game?

The mix of hilarity and tragedy is practically unprecedented in all human endeavors.

marmidukestank

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

osfn8 — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 18:56:54 MDT

I don't really know or care about Duke Nukem, but I'm buying this game just because it's so legendarily late.

osfn8

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

Oyn — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 18:45:28 MDT

That Duke model reminds me so much of a hairless ape.

Oyn

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

dsmx — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 18:34:23 MDT

@aradamis:
Load of crap we all know that chuck norris is behind that helmet.

dsmx

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

Matt_R — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 18:33:36 MDT

At least one of my favourite childhood games is seeing some progress. If Elite 4 would see the same kind of progress within a substantial amount of time, I guess hell froze over and I can re-live those childhood memories once more in high-def this time.
It'd be hard to live up to the memory of how amazed I was when I first played DN3D, or 2D (on a black and white monitor) for that matter, I truly hope they can provide the same level of innovation and awe I experienced when I first played DN. Cheers and good luck to the devs!

Matt_R

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

BassForever — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 18:30:08 MDT

Guys, they just annouced a release date, its 12/21/12 :P

BassForever

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

2NinjasTapedTogether — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 18:25:51 MDT

Lies, all lies!

You can't get me again 3D Realms! I won't fall for it again.

2NinjasTapedTogether

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

rico_ricardo — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 18:23:47 MDT

As long as there's tits in it I'll buy it. Those graphics look Wiiish to me though, which suites me fine, as I love my Wii.

rico_ricardo

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

mindscienceofthemind — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 18:18:25 MDT

If you love video games, you will not buy this shit when it comes out in the fall. George Brossaurd is complete asshole who deserves no one's money after the Tommy Hawk incident and his variety of other racist, sexist, bigoted shenanigans.

mindscienceofthemind

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

muu — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 18:12:00 MDT

They must have been fighting unofficially out of court over usage rights to Evil Dead / Army of Darkness quotes.

muu

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

jambe — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 18:00:16 MDT

@Ctsephion:
Same here. It will be a lot more meaningfull that way anyway.

jambe

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

rob2112 — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 17:57:05 MDT

Will it feature modem to modem and IPX/SPX network play? Will it support my 9600 baud modem?

rob2112

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

Sturm Truppen — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 17:44:18 MDT

@Twisk: Homeless don't want homes, they want Duke Nukem.

Sturm Truppen

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

Sigma-D — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 17:41:59 MDT

Will it have multiplayer? How about chainsaws? Are there lasers? I can see the question when this game even see the light of day.

Sigma-D

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

balls187 upside yo head — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 17:20:44 MDT

it can't be any worse than Daikatana right?

balls187 upside yo head

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

vanderblade — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 17:07:05 MDT

The fact that ShackNews got to play it, and nobody of significant note in the video game world (how about GFW?) should be a good indicator as to the true quality of the title. If that sounds elitist, I apologize. I just trust those I know.

vanderblade

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

Saint Anima — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 17:03:55 MDT

Hope the game at least attempts to come out by the end of the year. I can see the marketing and advertisements now...

Duke in a Santa outfit saying "Ho, Ho...Ho." while looking at the half naked female elves by his side.

Saint Anima

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

Ignatius — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 17:03:25 MDT

@Flawless101:

Well, that's what sold Halo.

Ignatius

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

Seturon — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 17:00:30 MDT

I still believe in Duke. No matter what happens though, I get the feeling that the game won't be as good as Duke 3D. It's all nostalgia, and the coop was probably the best part of the game, especially when you put team kills on. Whenever my friends and I would play, the game would turn into a Death Match with monsters. Good times.

Seturon

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

mizzle — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:59:50 MDT

I wonder if there will be a DS version?

mizzle

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

ZinkO: Balls of the Patriots — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:58:08 MDT

coming Q2 2009 for the PS2, Xbox, and Gamecube.

ZinkO: Balls of the Patriots

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

Komrade_Kayce — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:55:39 MDT

With hopeful optimism, my brain slowly realizes this is the most information we've gotten on the game since the E3 demo o' 1999.

Please Duke. Come out. I promise my expectations wont be too high. I just want to stop playing Duke Nukem 3D, crying myself to sleep every night.

Komrade_Kayce

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

Twisk — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:55:12 MDT

I'm really curious how much money has been spent on the development of this game.

...and how many homes with that money would could have bought for the homeless.

Twisk

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

jtraveller — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:51:01 MDT

duke nukem has become a joke, the poster boy of the vaporware.

jtraveller

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

Tubatic — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:43:29 MDT

The original 3d was a big deal. At the moment, that was where the awesome was.

But so much has happened since then that its going to be hard to be relevant.

Tubatic

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

kylo4 — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:42:37 MDT

I think of this as the "Chinese Democracy" of gaming. Will it ever come out? Who knows. He certainly looks like an Xbox 1 character up there though.

kylo4

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

Garrison Dean, King Awesome — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:39:28 MDT

I will buy the sequel to any game that had a character delivering on the promise given to a Boss to "Rip off your head and shit down your throat".

Garrison Dean, King Awesome

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

dead_red_eyes — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:39:24 MDT

@Lezard:
@Erwin:

Cheers!!!

dead_red_eyes

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

titlecade — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:32:08 MDT

This game will destroy earth and take everything with it, period.

titlecade

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

crayola77 — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:29:21 MDT

Hell, if they do so much as make you find health boxes instead of having the stupid regen I will buy it no doubt.

crayola77

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

(俗・ ) Grey Gecko — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:27:56 MDT

yeah, right...

this game is going to end the same way StarCraft Ghost did
without even being released
and you know it

you know what? i dont give a crappycrapppydo anymore -.-, this game is dead like a headshot'd zombie for me

*flame suit on*

(俗・ ) Grey Gecko

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

ShaggE — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:23:22 MDT

The best way to surprise us will be to have DNF on the Build engine. Fuck graphics, Build engine can never die!

ShaggE

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

skrame ☆ — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:22:58 MDT

The only thing that can save this game is the insertion of 50 Cent.

skrame ☆

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

Nexus6 — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:22:20 MDT

GIVE ME MY 2D STRIPPERS !

Nexus6

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

Schoolimangooli the doogie mag goosie! — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:18:01 MDT

@ServiceMaster:
Wow that has one of the saddest things I ever heard. Is this for real or are you making it up?

Schoolimangooli the doogie mag goosie!

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

Pezdispenser — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:14:57 MDT

A playable build exists? And it got a positive response?!?!?!

My faith in the Duke has been restored... :)

Pezdispenser

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

Ping5000 — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:14:36 MDT

Totally awesome and everything... but I gotta go floss my teeth.

Ping5000

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

neoraul20 — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:13:07 MDT

Duke Nukem Forever to come.

neoraul20

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

Erwin — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:13:02 MDT

@dead_red_eyes: Hey, same here.

Erwin

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

Erwin — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:11:43 MDT

Man, I just don't care about DNF anymore. I lost interest a long while ago and nothing has brought any anticipation back. I'll admit the teaser was an amusing anomaly, but I really thought it was just like seeing a UFO. You see it, you're amazed you did, it flies away and you never see it again. You try to tell everybody, but they don't believe it's real. If you see another it looks totally different and you don't recognize it but there isn't any noticeable improvement, if any. There have been exceptions of course. Using this same analogy, Prey was like Roswell. Yet I can't hold out much hope for this. Maybe they should just give up. I mean, at this point the soundtrack will be Chinese Democracy.

Erwin

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

AlcoholicZombie — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:11:04 MDT

Its going to come to a point where the game will be released as a crappy cgi movie since there is no way it will be playable on any system. Just waste all of your resources on making a 37 min movie and tack it onto the next big game as a preorder bonus.

AlcoholicZombie

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

dry-roasted-peanuts — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:08:18 MDT

Now, now, now, let's cut 3D Realms some slack. It took Hollywood 20-25 years to come up with the source material 3D Realms cobbled together to make the original Duke. It takes a long time to make that ground back up. Trust me, when you are hearing Duke quip "This is Nukem!" while blasting some Snake-Cops on the airplane level, it'll all be worth it.

dry-roasted-peanuts

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

jayntampa — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:05:35 MDT

No matter what, I'll have to play it at this point ...

jayntampa

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

GustoGaiden — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:05:29 MDT

The nice thing about DNF is that all the hype surrounding the game has been completely use up. It might even be operating in a hype DEBT, which can only be overcome by grains of salt. Anything good previews might say about the game MUST be qualified and quantified.

GustoGaiden

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

Jacktherip — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:05:22 MDT

I think this is a good thing for other developers to look at, I mean Duke Nukem was and maybe still is a well known franchise. Maybe more as a joke nowadays than a game but it'll let other companies know not to make this mistake of "delaying" a major franchise for this long. This will be one of the games that will prove whether or not waiting till a game is done is a good strategy. I've always believed that the Blizzard mentality towards developing is correct but we'll see if they can make this the next great FPS. I don't think the hype will end up killing this game I think the fact that everyone knows how long it's taken them to work on this, it better blow us out of the water.

Jacktherip

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

ServiceMaster — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:05:20 MDT

After Gamestop took this game off it's reserve list, my manager had to call people to tell them they can get their $5 back. Unfortunately one person he called was now a widow of the man who had reserved it.

The man died before he could play this game...

ServiceMaster

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

Lezard — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:05:11 MDT

@dead_red_eyes: I feel the same way. Duke Nukem was a big name once upon a time, but DNF's development has just taken far too long. When the game is finally released (and it should be at some point, given that evidence points to 3D Realms actively developing the game and not wasting their time playing beer pong), it needs to be a hell of a fun game in order to have any chance at surviving the backlash.

Lezard

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

exkon — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:04:50 MDT

I love Duke, whenever this game is released I'll be picking it up.

"Hail to the KING!"

exkon

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

Islandkiwi — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:04:30 MDT

That looks a lot more like Max Headroom than Duke.

Islandkiwi

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

Annex1 — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:04:28 MDT

@impreza: Exactly like Prey...in fact, that's exactly what happened with Prey and from a strikingly similar dev team. ;)

Annex1

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

ostartero — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:04:24 MDT

You know I still don't know who Duke Nukem is.

ostartero

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

impreza — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:03:15 MDT

It will probably come out like Daikatana, 10 years too late, and 8 years in the past.

impreza

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

Annex1 — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:03:02 MDT

I really hope this whole thing DNF ironically turns around to be one of the best games yet. Assuming it, even aside from this, even exists.

Or it's an incredibly lengthy ARG/Viral marketing scheme for Halo 4!

Annex1

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

Sofox — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:02:35 MDT

You know what would be the most ironic remark a reviewer or gamer could make about the game if it turns out to not be that good?

"It needed more time in development."

Sofox

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

Flawless101 — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:02:09 MDT

@Fallible: I think the opposite, personally all this has to do is hit the shelves looking half decent and have a half decent shooter and it will make money.

Flawless101

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

photoboy — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:01:47 MDT

I still want to play this game. I don't even care if it has Quake 3 level graphics as long as the humour and levels packed with secrets are intact.

photoboy

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

Dorphat the Insomniac — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:01:33 MDT

Beware, this game will
coincide with the coming
of Armageddon.

Dorphat the Insomniac

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

AlcoholicZombie — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:01:01 MDT

I think they will keep this under wraps for years to come to give warning to the developers that if they ever get out of line, they have work on the next trailer for Duke Nukem without pay. Haha. I think that would keep me in line and always make my deadlines.

AlcoholicZombie

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

dead_red_eyes — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:00:11 MDT

I hate to say it, but I don't even really care about this game anymore. Hell, I would've wanted to play the shit out of it back in the day ... but after this many years, the hype just isn't there. The name alone can't sell it for me now. Shit has got to be hot, otherwise I'm not touching it.

*dodges punches, flames and whatever else is thrown*

dead_red_eyes

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

Fallible — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 15:58:21 MDT

@Fallible: Assuming it's ever released, of course.

Fallible

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

aradamis — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 15:58:10 MDT

I still remember the joke ending for Halo 3, where the Master Chief takes off his helmet to reveal...Duke Nukem. That's right, the Halo games were actually Duke Nukem Forever! *Evil laughter*

aradamis

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

Fallible — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 15:58:02 MDT

Compared to what we have these days I can only hope they aren't relying on the games name alone to drive sales. If they are I can see this being a gigantic flop, the likes of which we have never seen before.

Fallible

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

Ctsephion — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 15:57:09 MDT

I hope it never comes out, so it can always be that game everyone jokes about...

Ctsephion

Your Quarterly Reminder That Duke Nukem Forever Exists

Shocky — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 15:56:16 MDT

Whatever, this game is dead. Nobody can revive it.

Shocky