<![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man - Kotaku Comments]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man - Kotaku Comments]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Brilliant, simply brilliant.

Zosic

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> I cannot believe I only just found this article, from a link on the videogame character drafts. I was skimming through the front page and missed it.

105 more hits and you've 150,000 people on one article to your name Owen.

Your parents must be proud.

Krondonian

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Sorry for the long post, but I couldn't let this go without sharing the email conversation this article spawned:

------------------------
Forwarded conversation
Subject: I don't even have words.
------------------------

From: Patrick

[kotaku.com]

From: Chris E.

Well that, in short, was a shitty article.

From: Remington B.

WTF?

Reminds me of a conversation I had back in high school about how much wood a woodchuck could in fact chuck. It was all hypothetical of course, seeing as the original riddle puports that a woodchuck might not even be able to chuck wood.

Is it too early? Should I stop?

From: Lisa M.

This reminds me of quite a few discussions, I've been subjected to. But they normally don't involve b.m.s. (Thank You God)

From: Joel W. P.

What a galactic waste of time and resources. That was awesome!

Do they recycle Pac-Crap? Perhaps fertilize the cherry, banana, apple and what-have-you plants? Where would that orchard be kept actually? Or do they turn the Pac-Crap into more dots in some kind of soylent green type nightmare world where Pac-Man is forever eating his own shit?

Oh no.

From: Patrick

Now, that was the type of response I was looking for.

To answer your questions:

1. They do, in fact, use Pac-crap to fertilize the various fruit plants. That was Mrs. Pac-Man's job until she decided that she was being discriminated against and she wanted her own game.

2. The Orchards are in Mexico. All game related fruit farming was outsourced back in 1997.

3. He only eats his own poo when there is a fruit worker strike and then it's only to show solidarity with his fruit-worker brothers.

Yeesssss.

From: Joel W. P.

I was asking if he eats his own crap because I'm wondering where the hell do they get the dots and power-ups. Do they use Pac-Poo to make them or something else?

From: Patrick

Ah. Well, I suppose that's possible. Recycled pac-poo. Somehow that's more gross than soylent green.

From: Joel W. P.

Then where do the pellets come from? The can't just magically appear from thin cyber-air.

And what about the ghost? Who where they before they became ghosts? Where they good people who became evil ghosts of have they always been bad? Where did they live before they reached the etetnal pergatory of Pac-Land? Or is Pac-Land hell? Is that were Hipshire goes when he dies? Because as we all know he is certainly going to hell. I won't because there is no hell.

From: Patrick

Hahahahaha! Yes! That's why Pac-Man has been around for so long! It's the eternal punishment for evil-doers! Ha!

From: Joel W. P.

Imagine them preaching the eternal damnation of being a ghost in Pac-Land.

Does this mean Pac-Man is the devil or a servant of the All-Mighty?

From: Patrick

Good question. I would think that the Pac would be the equivalent of Lucifer. He gives the illusion of escape as the ghosts chase him around. Then once he ingests a "Power Pellet" he chases them and eats them thereby damning them to an eternity of hope which is snatched away.

From: Jordan T.

Suspect pac-theology, at best Patrick. It's obscenely obvious that Pac-Man is a Pacatholic. The entire game is just a veiled metaphor for the holy Eucharist, for crying out Blinky. It breaks down like this:

1. Pac-Man eats pellets (communion wafers), until he hits the energy pellet. Anyone familiar with Catholic liturgical practice knows that every so often a pious Catholic gets to take SuperCommunion, allowing them religious powers ordinarily reserved for the Pope and the College of Cardinals.

2. After consuming an energy pellet (SuperCommunion wafer), the newly holificated Pac-Man can now banish the evil demons of this world (Inky represents abortion, Pinky is gay marriage, Blinky is use of contraceptive devices, and Clyde is the consumption of flesh meat on Fridays during Lent) to the depths of purgatory, a prison whence they will eventually be freed after a short time of penitence.

3. Pac may also consume various fruits (of the spirit), allowing the score (the Lord God Almighty) to increase (shine his beaming countenance upon the otherwise wretched Pac-creature).

It's all laid out in the Apocrypha, book of Namco, chapter 19, verse 80. Tracts are available at your local church.

From: Patrick

Truly you have opened my eyes, brother in Pac.

In his yellow pie-shaped love,
Pactrick.

From: Chris E.

Jordan, that email made this whole thread worth reading.

From: Chris H.

That is the best god damn explanation I have ever read to anything in my life. I feel enlightened now.

darthvol

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> This is going to be a long comment. Sorry for that, but I couldn't let this go without posting the email conversation that this article brought about.

Forwarded conversation
Subject: I don't even have words.
------------------------

From: Patrick

[kotaku.com]

From: Chris E.

Well that, in short, was a shitty article.

From: Remington B.

WTF?

Reminds me of a conversation I had back in high school about how much wood a woodchuck could in fact chuck. It was all hypothetical of course, seeing as the original riddle puports that a woodchuck might not even be able to chuck wood.

Is it too early? Should I stop?

From: Lisa M.

This reminds me of quite a few discussions, I've been subjected to. But they normally don't involve B.Ms. (Thank You God)

From: Joel W. P.

What a galactic waste of time and resources. That was awesome!

Do they recycle Pac-Crap? Perhaps fertilize the cherry, banana, apple and what-have-you plants? Where would that orchard be kept actually? Or do they turn the Pac-Crap into more dots in some kind of soylent green type nightmare world where Pac-Man is forever eating his own shit?

Oh no.

From: Patrick

Now, that was the type of response I was looking for.

To answer your questions:

1. They do, in fact, use Pac-crap to fertilize the various fruit plants. That was Mrs. Pac-Man's job until she decided that she was being discriminated against and she wanted her own game.

2. The Orchards are in Mexico. All game related fruit farming was outsourced back in 1997.

3. He only eats his own poo when there is a fruit worker strike and then it's only to show solidarity with his fruit-worker brothers.

Yeesssss.

From: Joel W. P.

I was asking if he eats his own crap because I'm wondering where the hell do they get the dots and power-ups. Do they use Pac-Poo to make them or something else?

From: Patrick

Ah. Well, I suppose that's possible. Recycled pac-poo. Somehow that's more gross than soylent green.

From: Joel W. P.

Then where do the pellets come from? The can't just magically appear from thin cyber-air.

And what about the ghost? Who where they before they became ghosts? Where they good people who became evil ghosts of have they always been bad? Where did they live before they reached the etetnal pergatory of Pac-Land? Or is Pac-Land hell? Is that were Hipshire goes when he dies? Because as we all know he is certainly going to hell. I won't because there is no hell.

From: Patrick

Hahahahaha! Yes! That's why Pac-Man has been around for so long! It's the eternal punishment for evil-doers! Ha!

From: Joel W. P.

Imagine them preaching the eternal damnation of being a ghost in Pac-Land.

Does this mean Pac-Man is the devil or a servant of the All-Mighty?

From: Patrick

Good question. I would think that the Pac would be the equivalent of Lucifer. He gives the illusion of escape as the ghosts chase him around. Then once he ingests a "Power Pellet" he chases them and eats them thereby damning them to an eternity of hope which is snatched away.

From: Jordan T.

Suspect pac-theology, at best Patrick. It's obscenely obvious that Pac-Man is a Pacatholic. The entire game is just a veiled metaphor for the holy Eucharist, for crying out Blinky. It breaks down like this:

1. Pac-Man eats pellets (communion wafers), until he hits the energy pellet. Anyone familiar with Catholic liturgical practice knows that every so often a pious Catholic gets to take SuperCommunion, allowing them religious powers ordinarily reserved for the Pope and the College of Cardinals.

2. After consuming an energy pellet (SuperCommunion wafer), the newly holificated Pac-Man can now banish the evil demons of this world (Inky represents abortion, Pinky is gay marriage, Blinky is use of contraceptive devices, and Clyde is the consumption of flesh meat on Fridays during Lent) to the depths of purgatory, a prison whence they will eventually be freed after a short time of penitence.

3. Pac may also consume various fruits (of the spirit), allowing the score (the Lord God Almighty) to increase (shine his beaming countenance upon the otherwise wretched Pac-creature).

It's all laid out in the Apocrypha, book of Namco, chapter 19, verse 80. Tracts are available at your local church.

From: Patrick

Truly you have opened my eyes, brother in Pac.

In his yellow pie-shaped love,
Pactrick.

From: Chris E.

Jordan, that email made this whole thread worth reading.

From: Chris H.

That is the best god damn explanation I have ever read to anything in my life. I feel enlightened now.

darthvol

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Damn you. Now me and a friend are debating PacMan vs Kirby. My money's on Kirby.

VioletArrows

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> ....im saving this to background.

chaosdeity

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> excellent! hahahaha!

SupaPhly

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> @Navigator2001Plus: hahaha! sometimes i feel like i'm the only one who knows how to correctly beg the question, you've just made my day.

adaorardor

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> GENIUS!

midnightz

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> ROFL, this needs to be on Bash.org

Seiven

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]>

Game-related sibling IM'ery FTW:

[resignedgamer.blogspot.com]

sir cucumber

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Ain't it great being so close to your brother that you can still have this type of conversation? One of the things I'm the most proud of is that my brother and I were able to keep a very strong relationship well into our adult lives, and this kind of cogitation about Pac-Man's colonic functions is exactly the kind of stuff that makes it possible (and precious).

Antiterra

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> ahaha god dammit my fav part though is
"10:12:47 AM Fletch: ghosts don't count towards crap, they ghosts.
10:13:04 AM Owen: no, he consumes their ghost costume but not their eyeballs. it's roughage.
10:13:17 AM Fletch: THEY GHOSTS"

excel_excel

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> @Owen Good: That may have been the greatest post I've ever read in Kotaku history. Now I really love you Owen

excel_excel

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> I hate to be the spoil sport but pac-man, the dots, the energizer pellets and the crap all bothered me when I was a kid. Then one night I decided that pac-man lived in a flat 2 dimensional world and therefore there was no volume to anything. Then I was able to fall asleep. Anyway I was one messed-up kid.

mzs

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> They Ghosts.
Classic.


AdmiralRupert

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Kotaku Original?

MonkeyBiz

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Owen's the master now. 2156 Diggs, 170 comments, and an epic post about Pac-Man taking a dump. Owen Good is on a role and is winning more fans than this topic's been Digg'd, per minute. This guy is the shit, and with posts like this, he must be 36 (?) makes me wish I had a brother to talk like this to.

kylo4

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> I calculated Pac-man's total pixel size to be 160 when we subtract the rounding from his 14x14 frame. So Tribal would need to add 40 to his formula.

However, I submit that just as humans have great diffculty comprehending a 4-dimensional world, we also would find it hard to understand Pac's 2D world, and how it's possible for his body to contain a digestive system. Even if he was only one pixel deep, never mind three, that would make him three dimensional. My entire hypothesis is predicated on the empirical evidence that he is not.

So, do I really talk this way? Maybe. What's it to ya?

fletcherism

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> owen, just when I wasn't sure if this thing could get any better, your dad comes in and awards your efforts even more win. well played, sir, well played.

I'd like to see a kotaku feature by all the parents of those residing within the walls of kotaku tower. if plunkett's mom and owen's dad are this great, I can only imagine the brilliant stories we'd hear about crecente, ash, mcwhertor, flynn and maggie and such...

wild homes loves you but chooses darkness!

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Gut punch laughing pain...

this really needs to be bumped somehow for the weekday onry people to get a chance to experience this post >:0

Coffee Ninja

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> I have to concur with the others saying that this is the best/most fun post of the year by far. If nothing else it's the funniest while being completely geeky at the same time. Well played Owen. Well played indeed.

ninjaraiden

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> outstanding

Grahamunculus

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> begging the question does not mean that a situation has given rise to a question that must be asked.

please please people, stop doing this

Owen, since you are writing professionally (semi-professionally? what the hell is blogging?) you really should have corrected your brother

DarknessMyOldFriend

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Oh God, I almost died laughing.

Chunky-MonkeyLOL

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> I was completely unmoved by this topic until the Binky image. Then I ROFL'd.

A thousand internets to you, my good man, and two thousand to your brother for creating the images.

baberg

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Oh yes this is awesome.

Can we break 100k views?

AZRoboto

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> I made this joke in like 2005

[i25.tinypic.com]

Blearghamuffin

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> I made this joke in like 2005.

[i25.tinypic.com]

Blearghamuffin

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Thank you Owen, for out of my whole day, this was it's saving grace....and considering all the bathroom humor, you can tell how my day has been.

I applaud thee^-^ Best laugh I've had in a long time...

Nekokazzie

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> OMFG. I almost shit my pants i was laughing sooooo hard!!!!

arfreeman11

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> @RebelGood: Well done on raising such smart, talented and well spoken young men who still crave those debates on the topics that matter in today's society

Dannon

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> For the record: "RebelGood" is in fact my father.

Owen Good

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Owen and Fletch-
Where, or where, did your mother and I go so far wrong? What became of those nights we read the classics together? The structured debates on man's inhumanity to man? ANd this is what it yields? I am weeping.
Dad

RebelGood

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> *sigh* ultinerds

elislider

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> I've had conversations like this ... pretty hilarious.

Strangelove

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Ahhahahah that's freakin' gold. How can I "digg". Or ko-digg it? tuck it? I mean tok-it?

Allfather Black

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> THEY GHOSTS

GoodbyeGalaxy

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Pac-Man's butt is always grinding the floor, that's why he doesn't need toilette paper!

kurwinsky

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> best. post. ever. This is hysterical!

geoffcbassett

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> This is most likely one of the funniest things that I'll read this year. Good job, I hope we get to see more of these in the future.

Zwei Voltage

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> @Owen Good:

He won't eat ghost eyeballs, but he will eat cherry stalks? Damned fussy eaters!

Now I think of it, ghost eyeballs don't sound very appetizing.

JudgeNutmeg

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> @JudgeNutmeg: The stems were included -- he consumes them after all, there's nothing left after Pac-Man passes over the fruit.

Owen Good

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> @Tribal: Thanks, I'm never eating Hershey's kisses again.

Owen Good

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> tapper lol

Chapel

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> There are some crucial anomilies with the math here. For starters, you are assuming that the pac-waste is as dense as the input material. Biologically, Pac-man's anatomy will compress his food into a smaller area that weighs more.

Perhaps it is more reasonable to hypothesise the density of his dookies and assume his waste matter is of proportion to his body. You worked out that Pac-man is 14x14 pixels (196) less say 60 pixels to give him his shapely form (lets estimate 130 pixels).
We then consider his body and internal organs, which will reduce the internal room. Taking the circumference of his body and rationalising that he has a 1 pixel thick 'skin' and a vaccuous void for power pellet processing we then remove a further (roughly) 40 pixels.

This leaves Pac with a hollow interior of about 90 pixels. We no longer work directly on the assumption that the waste is a third of the intake, rather factor in the intake to room ratio (1432/90) which gives ~16x compression.

Now we consider that 2/3 nutrients and power are taken from this compressed matter, leaving a remaining 30 pixels of waste material at a density of 16 pixel weight units per pixel.

The following is an illustration of the scale of Pac-man and his waste, with an overlay of roughly where the waste would fit into his system (assuming the utilised energy and nutrients are processed in the remaining cavity):

[i19.photobucket.com]

Now, if we consider that the average cherry pair weighs say 50 grams for 98 pixels in game, that is roughly 0.5g per pixel. We will have to take this as a base weight for all Pac-food as power pellets have no real-world comparison. This implies that each pixel of Pac-dookie weighs 8g, creating an 'optimum yield' of 240g.

Given we are assuming that Pac-man is hollow, with a 1 pixel thick skin, we can now work out how this would affect Pac's weight and mobility. Lets say a pixel of pac-flesh is about five times as dense as cherry flesh, meaning 2.5g/pixel.

Pac-man is previously assumed to have a cross-section of 130 pixels, for the sake of realism lets say he has a 3 pixel depth to facilitate this 1 pixel deep 'stomach.' This means (130+130+40=300 pixels. The 40 is his circumference, which also makes up the middle layer of flesh)

300 pixels of Pac-flesh would then be 750g of Pac-man. This implies that with a full 'load' Pac-man weighs a total of 1kg. Consider that the average US male (by wikipedia) weighs 86kg, imagine adding 1/3 of that in a short space of time (for a total of 120kg). Speed and endurance would drop substantially, however the energy provided by the power pellets could contradict this.

I suspect there should be a lucrative research grant in this for someone.

Tribal

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Wow. Just, wow. I'm really glad that I read the entire thing before I saw the pictures at the end. L to the O-L...nicely done.

Helmet Touch

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Fantastic sir. Weekends cannot be boring with the quality of scatological study going on in these parts. Hear Hear for the Good brothers. Or should we say, the great brothers? No. I guess we shouldn't. But still. God damn hilarious!

SamG

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> @Zadaz: Well, Kotaku's humor is usually pretty intelligent and funny to me, but apparently thar's a lot of folk'es who likes thems some poops heyar, so who am I to complain?

Man, maybe Garfield, Alvin and the Chipmunks, and any modern Eddie Murphy movie are actually really funny after all...

eastx

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Now, with the Cherries, did you include the stalk in the pixel count? I'm thinking he wouldn't eat the stalk.

JudgeNutmeg

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> @portugue: That reminds me of part of Stephen Hawking's A Brief History of Time where he says that a 2D dog cannot exist. Because of the fact that the alimentary canal is essentially just a tube that runs from the mouth all the way to the anus (mouth-esophagus-stomach-small intestine-large intestine-rectum-anus). A tube such as this would not allow the animal to exist because there would be no way to connect the top half to the bottom half. The tube would essentially cut the animal into two pieces. And since food has to travel from one end all the way to the other, any way to connect the two halves would essentially create a blockage in the path and not allow food to travel the full length of the digestive tract.

No really, this was in his book. Even had a great drawing which I wish I could show you here.

Eltigro

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> hahaahha! oh god!. Owen you are gonna pay for my ass reattachment surgery! xD

Dauragon C. Mikado

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> I just had to add my voice to the chorus and proclaim that this is amazing. You made me laugh quite a few times.

PLEASE stick around for a long time, Owen!

Kazzahdrane

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Epic conversation. Post of the year.

eskimo-bob

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Y'know, I think Owen might just work out here at Kotaku.

LoopyChew

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Incredible. Owen you have out done yourself with this post. You are the weekend champ. Ohh you rock too Maggie, but he rocked with this little gem.

Balance_In_Life

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> priceless...

Sicrowell

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Are you, by anychance, bored?

Herabec

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> @eastx: No, I think most people find it gross and stupid. What separates us us that we also find it funny. Which I'm frankly surprised at given my average age and average poo throughput.

Zadaz

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> You have no idea how much this appeals to me. Shit yeah!

supercrap

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> 10:13:38 AM Fletch: Cartoon ain't canon

EPIC!

BEST.EVER.IRC.CHAT

Tei

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> @kelptocratic: Hahaha, such a good movie.

Vorpal

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> @eastx:

No, no, I'm there with you.

I rather didn't care for it.

gravytoast

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> @Nawara_Ven: This has to be the best comment I've ever read on this site.

Vorpal

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Shucks, none of my brothers could keep up a conversation such as that with me. It's a good thing I made friends with nutcases similar to Owen and Fletch.

Also, Fletch!? That name kicks too much ass! Does your brother glow with an aura of power or something!? I'm stealing that name for my firstborn, regardless of gender.

Good post. Keep up the shenanigans. This is just a huge ego trip for you freaking editors.

JibbyJam

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Incredible.

InsidiousTuna

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> @Owen Good:

You crack me up Owen! This was a hilarious read.

dead_red_eyes

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> post of the year and its just april.

the bar has been raised. a lot!

0wen for the win!

jtraveller

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> This could be the best post in Kotaku history. I'm not kidding at all.

Karlott

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Don't have time to read the whole post right now, but doesn't Pacman poop as he goes along through the mazes. He is exercising the entire time, unless he stops for a wall rest, so he can't hold the poop until the stage ends. That's why the Ghosts slow down so much after he eats the large power pellots (energizers) because its so much at once that Pacman shits it out as he runs away and the Ghosts have to tread through it. They just didn't show his shit because it would've caused slowdown.

Gam3r

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Sometimes you just have to turn off the ol' brain and enjoy a poop joke.

I'm waiting to hear the raging debate on whether ghosts are roughage, or THEY GHOSTS.

randomizer9

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> hey! the power pellet is only 8X8 pixel! I counted them.

rich8606

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> @Navigator2001Plus: Fletch doesn't know what begging the question means.

I thought that too at first but if he's using the phrase to point out Owen is assuming Pac Man has an anus without having evidence of that fact then it's correct.

Evil Jim

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> "no, he consumes their ghost costume but not their eyeballs. it's roughage."
LMAO
Brilliantly funny!!

nanikore

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> I must say, that was some funny shit. (Pun only partially intended.)

Eltigro

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Guess I'm in the minority for finding this to be gross and stupid.

eastx

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Owen, i'm liking you as much as one of the reg editors. :)

frank0127

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Hahaha... yes. One of the best offbeat posts this year. I love stuff like this that gives perspective into the bizarre minds of our beloved Kotaku editors.

Blah8

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> you have no idea how many times i have asked the same question! now i can sleep at night.

number_77

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]>

That just reminded me of this ([www.slashgear.com]) all over again...

More varied skeletons here ([michaelpaulus.com]) if you're into that sort of thing.

kureshii

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> This was amusing, but not funny enough to laugh at really. Bathroom humor is a dead beaten horse.

Anyway, thanks for entertaining XD

gravytoast

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> I seriously doubt this much thought went into Pac-Man during development, but when you think about, as much logic you guys put into it, you guys made a very good point, plus that shit was funny.

Trowble (XBL/PSN)

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> I've got one thing, and one thing only to say about this. They're "power pellets", not "energizers". That's a frikkin' bunny.

Purple Dave

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> This is exactly like something my sister would draw. I think she still has her Mario paint animation of a toliet filled with poo and then it swirling down...looped infinitely with a background sound made entirely of tugboats and piggies

teraphony

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Agreed. This, Owen, is your best post thus far.

zgrowler2

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> you guys are seriously convinced that this is beyond awesome and one of the best posts made here on kotaku? i dunno, i love pac man and i can enjoy a tasteless poop joke from time to time, but this is one of those things where it'd only be funny if i was on one end of the conversation. at least for me. im going to get criticized by some jackass fan who can't take an opinion now, aren't i? =\

blackdice

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Dude this is the most awesome thing ever!

I think this is one of the few times I was actually laughing my butt off when I said "lol" on msn.

You deserve greatest weekend post of the year!

reluttr

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Oh and I used to hate the Weekends here at Kotaku ;)
Owen you made me laugh. Good show sir.


goldwings

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]>

I did something similar to this a couple of weeks ago... [furiousball.com]

furiousball

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> That was on a level of awesome that can't even be explained. The pictures and the last 2 lines just made it a classic.

Darkest Daze

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Laughing... too... hard... can't... breathe...*thump*

Seriously, well done.

-- Steve

Anton P. Nym

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Receptionist: May I help you Dr...?
Fletch: Oh, it's me, Dr. Rosenpenis. I'm just here to check out Alan Stanwyk's file.
Receptionist: Dr. who?
Fletch: Dr. Rosenrosen, I'm here to get to the records room.
Receptionist: What was that name again?
Fletch: It's Dr. Rosen, I want to check the records room.
Receptionist: Dr. who?
Fletch: Dr. Rosen. Where's the records room?

kelptocratic

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> interesting read! could be your best post so far.

rich8606

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> @Owen Good: Oh no, hats off to you good sir.

egyptomix

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Heh, nothing else to add, everyone's said it all. Thanks Owen. :D

FFMMCLXIV

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> best post ever. great job, owen.

Grimmjow Jeagerjaques

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Awesome debate o_0

FearEvil19

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Slow news day today?

FuckYouGawkerMedia

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Owen Good is an understatement.

dowingba

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Oh my.
Brilliant, just brilliant.
Captures what it is to be a geek in its purest form.

Thank you Owen, thank you sir.

Dunny0, ELE Hopeful

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> I am pleased to see that Kotaku is achieving a certain level of scientific rigor in their speculation about games, rather than just shooting-from-the-hip as so many other sites might do.

psychicfriend

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> I agree, the last two lines really do make the entire post. The whole pac dookie was funny enough but then you throw in a Tapper question. Win!!

Phazonmasher

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> rotfl! that reminds me of a conversation I had with one of my friends about "The world that never was" from kingdom hearts XD
"Well if it never was how are they there??"
"O_o"



hrabbit

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Fletch doesn't know what begging the question means.

Navigator2001Plus

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Good work, but we really do need those numbers for Tapper ASAP!

Pezdispenser

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> That is so f*ckin awesome!
Weekends have been hella good since you got here Owen, and kudos to your brother haha, that's the kind of things a buddy of mine and start to wonder when we are wasted.


chemical_eng_mx

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Owen you are now pretty much my favourite person on the planet.

GregoriusH

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> LOL. Wonder what happens when Pac-Man starts eating those keys in the later levels.

mitch079

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> I've felt like i've taken a pac-man shit before

xBETAx

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> I think you've just been upgraded to Owen Awesome.

Tiger-Fever

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Oh man. I wasted so many years at school when I could have been learning this!

Evil Jim

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> The small gif at the top of the page had me laughing. It only got better from there. Truly epic.

There must be more.

Luis

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> LOL the fuck off!!

and i thought me and my buddies talked stupid shit.

You beat the SHIT out of us!!!

Edwinik

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> I beg to differ!

Those dots are maybe puffy corn with a very different mass and density compared to poop.

We would need to know what the dots are made of!

interstate78

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Well.

After just getting off the toilet and reading that, I can say I feel refreshed.

From both.

Polterg3ist

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> @Amun-Ra:
*pac-crap


thisisasignin

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> @Amun-Ra:

'crap' indeed!

Over half the comments in this thread are full of unintentional puns. I think everyone here gets comment of the week.

...for all this shit.

(had to be done)

Komrade_Kayce

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> OMFG, I ROFLed. I seriously had to just sit back and laugh. You guys are messed up. LOL, where is the digg button, other people need to see this crap.

Amun-Ra

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Congratulations Owen, I hereby award you one Internet. Seriously, this is THE best post I've ever read.

neuralien

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> This is the best! That is the kind of conversation that really get to the meat of things. I love the way you both never gave up and really worked to get to the end of a pointless (yet inquisitive) train of thought. The pics are perfect - I love the look of WTF on the ghost! You guys ROCK!!!

Awoken

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Best post on Kotaku ever.

Mune

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> lol HAHAHAHAHAHA great !

MartinSWE

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]>

[i114.photobucket.com]

Well played sir, well played.

Culebra

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> I didn't read it all but interesting nonetheless.

M

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Glorious.

Spampy

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> I'm no expert, but from what I understand 2d is just a single angular view of 3d. So technically you should move this all into the third dimension where pac-man would be 14x14x14 and his blips are 2x2x2 and cherries are 5.99 a lb...no wait....damn it.

portugue

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> /speechless
o__O;;;

黒天使

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> I'm ashamed to say this is the funniest thing I've read all year.

xot

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Own now has my official seal of approval.

This was epic.

blueshoals

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> God this is amazing. I need to have more friends who play videogames.

Majorasblaze

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> God I am so glad Brian hired you. I'm actually crying.

Touy

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Classy. And Classic!

REDFIELD8

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> ROFL

but but... you know, power pills don't actually have any meat in it (does it?).
So maybe... well... Level 2 is just the result of... aw, forget it.

Bokusatsu_Tenshi

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Horrifying. Truly horrifying. Also brilliant.

Mister Adequate

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> This is the best post ever, you are a god among men.

I'm glad they hired you.

z357x

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Hahaha...That was great.

Thanks for the fun read.

Those graphics we're priceless too.

Woodwater

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Now this is "Maximum Risky."

Thorax

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Astounding.

Maldron

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> lol, that was great.... one of the best things I've read on kotaku.

Magapower

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> yes they ghost

j.howlett

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> What is this noise I am making?

Is this what people call LOL?

Zoobear

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> This deserves many awards. Hell, it's so epic that it even deserves a Grammy and Daytime Emmy.

Americo

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> This post epic wins

TheFooFighter

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> This conversation is (sadly) quite familiar between me and my friends. Never about Pacman, but about videogame chracters, oh yes indeed... all those years of nonsense and I never made logs...doh.

Shiryu

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Damn, this is the hardest I've laughed in a long long time, and considering the month I've had, I have really needed it. THREE CHEERS FOR THE BROTHERS GOOD!

Hellmark

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> @Nawara_Ven:

Oh man. The last two lines of your comment are made of more win than the internet can handle. Someone get this man a nomination.

Komrade_Kayce

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> This is soo damn funny man. I was hurting myself laughing and hoping the funny would end, and then I tried to control myself. Then I started to choke on my laughter. True story.

FuzyBaffy

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> @Nawara_Ven: Dammit. Almost choked on my lasagna there. :P

ShaggE

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> i loled

owen wins

(俗・ ) Grey Gecko

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Next you're going to calculate how big a crap the Transformers take!

Power Pellets and Dots, like Energon, are made of pure energy!

PAC MAN IS A ROBOT

Elliuotatar

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> @spiderweb1986:

Can't argue? The "20% left in his intestines" is extremely debatable. How much waste material is going to be in a power pellet? It's power.

One could assume that the pellets are metabolized entirely.

But in the end, you have you ask yourself, does fecal matter? It may, depending on how you were reared.

Nawara_Ven

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> I wish me and my brother had discussions this deep about Pac-Man's digestive system; perhaps I'll try and steer conversation in that direction next time I speak to him.

You're work is amazing Owen!

Ghirofelgo

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> LOLY.

artofwar420

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]>

[blogs.phillynews.com]

/On behalf of Fletch and myself

Owen Good

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> It's always fun to speculate about totally random and completely arbitrary video game points. I can't remember the last time I had one of my own.

Also, this conversation made me burst out laughing.

Konatsu

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> This is proof that men never lose the boy within.

Incredibly funny! :D

hikergirl

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> This is the funniest thing I've ever seen on Kotaku, hands down.

Destrado

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Can I nominate this for Hyper Multi-Tap?

William "Killer" Shatner

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Oh man i'm so happy i read through all of this. XD

Cchrist

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> I can't decide if this is just a great post on Kotaku or the Greatest post on Kotaku.

Hauler

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Wow. Effort.

Pinhead

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Also, I got a huge kick out of the fact that this is the one and only post on Kotaku that has "dookie" as one of the tags.

A new recurring post theme, perhaps?

spiderweb1986

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Does this conversation scream "Clerks" (as in the Kevin Smith movie) to anyone else?

I'm amazed at the depth of the analysis, and hard-pressed to argue with the results. Not sure if I could bring myself to, but it seems solid* from here.

*unlike the Pac-dookie

spiderweb1986

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> @JimElNino: See, thats where Owen made a mistake. He busted out this gem way too early. There is no way he can ever top this.

OR CAN HE *waits with bated breath* ??!!

iamcool388

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> /me claps.

DY357LX

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Wow, thank you very much for that.

Diablo0721

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> This shit is hilarious.

*no pun intended*

Shocky

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> "nowait, I miscounted- thought the board was quadrilaterally symmetrical, but its only bilateral..."

And you kids thought geometry class would never be useful.

Aleeightone

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> "(o)___( O)" indeed...

Krackatoa

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> HAHA, this brightened my otherwise depressing day. Love the weekend posts.

TomFinch

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Jesus, that's the funniest shit I've seen this year. Great post dude.

xaosoax

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> That's the best thing I've ever seen.

Bernard McGraw

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> 3 weekends in and already a hall-of-famer

JimElNino

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> This is AWESOME.

Best videogame related poop humor ever.

Ashurahori

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> /clap
great,weird,and funny read.

Truepatriot

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> I need to read the conversation. I just scrolled to the bottom and now Im so confused.

Plus when I saw the first pic, I thought he was lifting weights... I need some DS Flash Focus.

mizzle

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Man... I thought I had some amusing chatlogs, but this takes the cake.

ShaggE

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> that is fucking amazing on so many levels and i feel ashamed for not having the discussion with friends first. -_-

demonknightinuyasha

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> @t0yrobo: Seconded.

This has genius written all over it. I propose posts about Fletch be an hourly occurrence. Because its just that damn good.

iamcool388

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Owen I bow down to thee

Dannon

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> The fact that this takes place over only 20 minutes makes me laugh very hard. Reminds me of all the useless conversations I have with my friend.

dunetiger reads kotaku, seems pleased

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Screw Mortal Kombat Vs. DC, THIS is this week's post.

Resso

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Big long squirt dookie? LOL! Owen, you win teh internets every weekend haha!

Knoxximus (360/PSN)

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> This post is full of win!

Master Saji

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> for pacmans crap sake!! this is pure win.

Plsk1n

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Quite possibly the hardest I've laughed at Kotaku in a long time. Hope you don't get banned for the bathroom humor Owen! =D

ChunkOFunk

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Looks like Blinky smells a stinky.

PaulHunter

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> I've always wondered how that would work myself, now that i have an answer. i have so many more questions...

GUNDAM-RX-78-2

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> It's the commitment to knowing how big the craps would be that amazes me.

I'm honestly impressed.

egyptomix

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> HAHAHA! Oh wow!

Madnoir

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> Owen, you win the gold for weekend posts.

I always assumed inside pac man was some sort of black hole, things go in but never come out.

Komrade_Kayce

]]> <![CDATA[Two Brothers Meditating Upon Questions of Pac-Man]]> That is massive.

You know, that conversation reminds me of me and my sister, but we usually don't talk about shit.

Guvnah