Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger - Kotaku Comments

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

Malerik — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 13:24:55 MST

there was actually a really easy way to beat the first guy that wasn't the crouching thing. If you managed to jump over him his moves were actually different on the other side of him and he didn't have the same range as if you stood on the left. It was awesome. That stupid waiter was as far as I ever got tho.

Malerik

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

TearsandScreams — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 05:04:03 MST

Haha I had this on my Atari ST. It was bloody awful.

TearsandScreams

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

King Seafoam — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 11:30:03 MST

Zero Punctuation's Bizzaro nemesis, Mucho Punctuation.

King Seafoam

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

StuiWooi — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 05:58:47 MST

Where is SF's guy in lederhosen?!

StuiWooi

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

cernex — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 20:39:00 MST

@big_world:

Nope. Yahtzee and Dr. Ashens are two completely separated beings. Ashes started before Yahtzee, actually.

El Cernex

cernex

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

Big World — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 17:20:37 MST

That was Yahtzee, right?

This video is exactly the same (exactly the same) as the Zero Punctuation videos, just at half the speed.

Big World

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

Gam3r — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 16:47:02 MST

4 frames of animation FTW.

Gam3r

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

Kirbytheslayer: In-Kirby XMB — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 16:37:38 MST

You know, the whole time, I couldn't help but think that the video would have been hilarious if the guy was just funny.

There's a difference between dry British humor and being staggeringly slow and unfunny. The items were funny. The jokes were funny. His presentation was beyond dull and horrible. If he just re-recorded the whole thing at under 5 minutes, it would probably be as good as Yahtzee's stuff. I mean, the material certainely is.

@Silent_Shark: Yeah.
But technically, Yahtzee's been creating game parodies and jokes since 2002. Check out his site.

Kirbytheslayer: In-Kirby XMB

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

NecronomiconUK — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 16:06:05 MST

I heart Dr Ashens

Long live him and long live b3ta.com

NecronomiconUK

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

Bokusatsu_Tenshi — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 16:02:14 MST

ROFL... slower more polite Yahtzee is fine too!

Bokusatsu_Tenshi

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

bobtheduck — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 15:27:57 MST

@Cheebahawk: I think this guy's been around longer... He only reviews knock-off stuff, for the most part. What makes him a Yahtzee ripoff? Because of his accent? That's some of the dumbest logic I've ever heard, but that's the only logic I can think of. It's not like Yahtzee is the first person to do videos where they use random pictures and draw over those pictures to make video out of it.

bobtheduck

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

Tigerfog — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 15:27:42 MST

Yay, dr.Ashens. :D
That game didn't look very fun though...

Tigerfog

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

inphanta — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 13:56:12 MST

I remember seeing that game reviewed in Zzap! 64 years ago. I thought it looked terrible then. And Teirtex really did churn out some AWFUL conversions. Their Commodore 64 port of Street Fighter was especially unforgivable.

Good video, though the dude's affected vocal delivery did annoy me somewhat.

inphanta

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

cernex — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 13:41:58 MST

Hey, Brian DID checked my email!!! I feel so damn POTATO!!!

(I was the one who send the link, actually, ;P)

El Cernex

cernex

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

EmTeeZ — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 13:23:00 MST

I don't find a guy funny just because he has a different accent from mine. He makes hardly an attempt at a joke, has poor timing when he does, and speaks so slowly as to put you to sleep in seconds.

EmTeeZ

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

Yamster — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 12:43:31 MST

@Cheebahawk: Brit-born, Aussie living.

So he's a bit of both.

Yamster

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

Dew_Lite — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 12:37:27 MST

Wait wait wait, there's so much onomatopoeia in my face! That's the human killing machine. The onomatopoeia.

Dew_Lite

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

Cheebahawk — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 12:10:26 MST

Can people please stop saying Yahtzee is Australian, he's all English baby.

He just lives in Australia.

Cheebahawk

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

Karlott — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 12:07:20 MST

Heh. "I like Sagan because he has a move that looks like he's lining up a particularly difficult pool shot." That's awesome because it DOES look exactly like that.

Karlott

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

Old-school Sonic fanboy — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 11:56:50 MST

Wootness for Dr. Ashen.

Old-school Sonic fanboy

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

bysty — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 11:56:19 MST

Lack of comedic timing.

bysty

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

MarquisMark — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 11:55:16 MST

I can see why people would make Yahtzee comparisons, which, as has already been pointed out, are really not needed as Dr. Ashen has been around quite a while.

That said, if Ashen was American no one would be making any kind of comparison. Somehow it's a travesty that we have to British-accented guys reviewing games, and there can be only one? Come on. Dr. Ashen is far more subtle, and while he may not generate as many laughs per second as Zero Punctuation reviews, he's still very very funny.

MarquisMark

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

Spampy — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 11:53:47 MST

I love how comedy said in a british accent about games absolutely cannot be original if the creator has less exposure. That being said, I freaking loved this vid, and I like ZP too. So there!

Spampy

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

Moonshadow101 — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 11:51:09 MST

I watched this the last time you posted one of Ashen's things, you should just link his profile or something.

Moonshadow101

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

Yamster — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 11:44:06 MST

*Brit.

Yamster

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

Yamster — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 11:43:58 MST

Old, old old. And Dr Ashen has been around a lot longer than Yahtzee.

Technically, the Aussie should be compared to the Bri.

Yamster

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

Cchrist — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 11:22:10 MST

Doesnt exist anymore?

Cchrist

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

MajorMcMuffin — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 11:06:57 MST

Ignoring Yahtzee comparison, that was quite funny. Seriously though, he's British, but that doesn't mean he's copying Yahtzee. Dry humour is almost standard in Britain, and any idiot can use windows movie maker.

MajorMcMuffin

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

Gladman — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 11:02:05 MST

This is probably totally bogus but the narration on this I reckon is totally Zero Punctuation :/

Just my thoughts anywho.

Gladman

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

Zenax — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 10:57:24 MST

British people are the funniest for some reason >_>. Ashens is great though, love his vids.

Zenax

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

Murph1908 — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 10:56:20 MST

"But your wearing lederhosen."

"Ya, for sure, from Sweden!"

Murph1908

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

superbabyproject — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 10:43:47 MST

I had this on a Pompey Pirates disk, it was awful, but I completed it anyway.

superbabyproject

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

ManjiKengo — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 10:37:23 MST

oh wow...

ManjiKengo

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

UNDERSTAR — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 10:22:24 MST

I lulz @ Hans

UNDERSTAR

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

Cheebahawk — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 10:16:16 MST

Ok I was all over dissing this guy, and i went over to his YouTube page and it turns out he's actually pretty funny so I'll retract my Yahtzee comparison.

This video he made brought me to tears.

Cheebahawk

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

Thassodar — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 10:14:06 MST

@Cheebahawk: Do it. Americans dig the British accent. All the mainstream shows here nowadays has the random British guy at least once per season if he's not a main character.

@zoesch: He's pretty good, but everyone will always compare him to ZP if they've never seen or heard of him before. If anything ZP added more punch (read: cussing) and sped up Dr.Ashen's act more. And we all know that Yahtzee posted his first couple of reviews on Youtube, yes?

Thassodar

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

Gouki4u's avatar has a severe case of Jekyll and Hyde — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 10:11:37 MST

What an incredibly horrible game, but at least it makes a funny video.

Gouki4u's avatar has a severe case of Jekyll and Hyde

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

Ashkihyena — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 10:01:56 MST

Yeah, I doubt this guy is a Yahtzee rip off, honestly now, not everyones trying to rip everyone off.

As for the video, I watched it before it got posted here, and I laughed cause its pretty funny.

Ashkihyena

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

TitillatedOcelot — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 10:01:19 MST

@Zombie_Crunch: Yeah, Yahtzee has set the bar. This guy is more like "Overly-Used Punctuation".

TitillatedOcelot

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

zoesch — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 09:59:23 MST

@Silent_Shark: Before that even, first time I heard of Dr. Ashen was around 2004-ish.

Besides, the guy is a hoot...

zoesch

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

Silent_Shark — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 09:55:04 MST

@Cheebahawk: I think Dr. Ashens has been around longer than Zero Punctuation. I'm not sure, but I was definatly watching his videos before I'd even heard of Yahtzee.

...In fact I've just looked it up. The first ZP video was 15th Aug 2007, and the first Dr. Ashen video was 23rd Feb 2006, so I was right. I think you can safely say that Ashen is not ripping off Yahtzee.

Silent_Shark

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

Zombie_Crunch — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 09:53:18 MST

This man is no Yahtzee Croshaw.

Zombie_Crunch

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

maxax — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 09:51:07 MST

Could the guy talk any slower?
I'm falling asleep here and not really noticing any (worthwhile) humor to be honest.

maxax

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

KeroseneClimax — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 09:50:39 MST

Let Arc System Works remake it. A very educational video.

KeroseneClimax

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

zoesch — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 09:49:10 MST

@Cheebahawk: Errr... Dr. Ashen has been doing reviews before Yatzee in fact, but he normally reviews import knockoffs like the PolyStation or the Vii and rarely games.

zoesch

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

Arnold Rimmer's Garden Strimmer — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 09:47:40 MST

Ashens! \o/

Arnold Rimmer's Garden Strimmer

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

Mr.DuckSauce — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 09:47:40 MST

@Cheebahawk: people keep saying its a yahtzee knock off, but the idiots who say that is because he has a british accent, you idiot should know thats how they talked and they mostly have dry witty humor.

Mr.DuckSauce

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

Shiryu — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 09:45:17 MST

LOL, HKM,I had this on the Sinclair Spectrum 48k! even there it was a ripoff of Stree Fighter's Spectrum conversion.

...man, im old!

Shiryu

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

serotoninzero — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 09:42:51 MST

I wish we would've gotten to see the final boss in action.

serotoninzero

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

Kamizzle — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 09:39:50 MST

I do give them creit for getting "nachtclub" right in dutch.

Even though nothing is actually called that in the red light district XD

It would have made more sense if it were: one hooker and a pimp instead of one hooker and a man in tights.

Kamizzle

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

Cheebahawk — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 09:39:40 MST

This game looks amazing, finally a fighting game I could do well in whereby i just duck and keep pressing kick...

Didn't like the reviewer though, he's like a terrible Yahtzee knockoff, i didn't find him very funny and he talks too slowly....

For the people above that liked him, was it just because he's English? If so maybe i should start doing video reviews...

Cheebahawk

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

Hauler — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 09:38:11 MST

Is it just me or does the guy on the left of the Human Killing Machine title screen look a lot like UFC fighter Wanderlei Silva? I wish I could have sat thorough this all, but I'm at work.

Hauler

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

cowscows — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 09:37:33 MST

It would've been significantly better (and a good bit shorter) if the narrator would tell his jokes without feeling the need to explain them afterwards.

cowscows

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

MarquisMark — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 09:37:21 MST

Oh Dr. Ashen, your dry british humour never fails to make me chuckle.

MarquisMark

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

relik — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 09:37:03 MST

Blast from the past. I had this on my Amiga back in the day and it was indeed awful!

relik

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

hamandcheeseUK — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 09:36:32 MST

Hahahaha oh god this is so funny. This guy is great (made me laugh as much as some of Yahtzee's stuff!)

hamandcheeseUK

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

greyhoundbus — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 09:34:44 MST

Haha... wow. This guy's pretty good.

greyhoundbus

Human Killing Machine: The Game... Not the Blogger

greeble — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 09:34:28 MST

Wow amazingly bad. The best part is how the Boss only has 4 frames of animation. (If you don't count the 2 where he is knocked down)

greeble