Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks - Kotaku Comments

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

allforone23 — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 11:56:01 MDT

You missed something on Taurine, it's a blood thinner. If you really like it you can get it in big 4 L(one gallon) jugs down at any vet office.

It's also the reason why all those energy drinks have a recommended dosage.

allforone23

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

utan — Sat, 31 May 2008 00:59:39 MDT

I drink Red Bull from Thailand. It has a huge kick and tastes pretty great. You can find it in china town usually, look for it in super markets there. It costs $10 for a 12 pack, well at least in the Philadelphia china town it does. That is under $1 a bottle, and it tastes better then normal Red Bull.

utan

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

The Instructor — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 08:37:59 MST

Why are so many people into using uppers while gaming?
I choose w33d!

The Instructor

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Mark Arnold — Sat, 23 Feb 2008 19:55:04 MST

no Jones Energy?

Mark Arnold

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

IfIHadThisJeep — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 16:15:40 MST

Funny storry about Cocaine. I love it, and am drinking it right now. But the first time I had it, I was walking with my brothers friend Caleb and he gave me some, and I had only drank a little so I didn't feel too much of a burn. I said most people were wusses for complaining about the burn. Since ever since that time I was addicted to the stuff, I chased him down until he gave the rest in the can to me. I chugged it, and he said, "You are going to get burned really bad." I doubted him and he told me it took a short amount of time to take effect, and I didn't believe him. After that the only thing you could here for the next hundred feet was the sound of me screaming in agony as the Cocaine began taking effect, acidifying my throat. Strange, it seems as though when I drink Cocaine my stomach seems to churn. If this were my survey, Cocaine would be 10 and 10.

IfIHadThisJeep

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Nmixer — Sat, 16 Feb 2008 12:20:05 MST

@MrBionic: I totally

agree with you there. that energy drink is scrazy** (crazy scary)...

Nmixer

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

obokuri-eeumi — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 21:24:48 MST

im assuming this was just energy drinks you could find laying about in the US? I noticed there were a bunch missing, but i guess there isnt enough time to rate them all, but good job on the info. I notice that for myself a good ole 455 mL of diet coke gives me a ton more energy than any energy drink ive had to date.. Im also on the search to find other ones i havent had to see which one i prefer the most.

Heres a list of what ive had so far:

Red Bull, No Fear, NOS, SOBE (small cans), 5 hour (from 7-eleven), rocket fuel, Bawls, Jolt, jester (i think the name was that), AMP, Rockstar, Monster, Full Throttle, Lost, Beaver Buzz, Red Rave, Red Rain (i think both Reds are basically the same), TAB, Guru, Bookoo... as well as many of the variety of flavors associated with these if applicable.

I believe some of these energy drinks are only available in Canada but i could be wrong.

obokuri-eeumi

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

CZroe — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 20:30:22 MST

Oh, and I thought I'd mention: Despite the results here, both times that I've had Amped I got "the shakes." It scared me, so I avoid it, but I needed it the second time. I was driving over four states departing at 2AM with no sleep and a penchant for dozing even when fully rested as a *response* to driving (it lulls me). One large can lasted four hours and I [barely] finished the trip with a second smaller can.

CZroe

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

CZroe — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 20:27:10 MST

The one factor I considered was how long you can take to drink it and Monster came out on top there too. Basically, you could buy one large can and add it into your water/gatorade bottle and keep drinking it for hours to extend the effect through more than 6hrs of a shift without the remainder tasting bad. Rockstar, Full Throttle, etc all developed a terrible flavor in addition to their already worse flavors in only a matter of minutes (better drink them as soon as you open the can). Monster Kaos, on the other hand, is the best tasting energy drink I've ever tasted and it is 70% fruit juice. Unfortunately, that means that it suffers like the others as far as longevity after opening. Even so, I still use Khaos with sports drinks because it isn't as carbonated so it isn't going to over-pressurize my sports-drink bottle if I am too active.

A little Monster goes a long way when mixed with Gatorade/Powerade and water (adding a little water as the hours pass keeps it cool). The M-80

CZroe

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

s0ulfAce — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 14:33:45 MST

full throttle taste's like liquid gummy bears!

s0ulfAce

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

rad_matter — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 15:48:57 MST

I don't know about anyone else, but Crunk!! increased my sex drive the first (and only) time I've had it.

For that energetic buzz, however, I just stick to coffee. Coffee for me is 10 times stronger than Red Bull in keeping me alert.

rad_matter

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

cb8100 — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 13:09:16 MST

Regarding Full Throttle:
"Strange. I have tasted this before but I cannot quite place it."

It reminds me of when I was a kid and I'd soak gummy worms in a bottle of coke. Same taste.

cb8100

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

kokiri-kid — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 07:43:59 MST

why was red bull given a 3/10 for taste, rockstar a 6/10 for taste, and monster a 9/10 for taste?
monster has to be one of the most nasty tasting energy drinks ive ever had (second to full throttle mother.. i still CRINGE from thoughts of how that tasted)

rockstar tastes the best!, and that mild buzz is perfect, tis the ammount you need

kokiri-kid

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

diacideXMW — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 12:37:33 MST

whoever did this is totallly fucking AWESOME...this is basically my whole report now for english...sweeet..

diacideXMW

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

MURDERFACE — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 09:49:50 MST

@The SmacK: LOL Check out the ad.

[www.youtube.com]

and if your looking to buy any here is the link to that site.

[brawndo.com]

MURDERFACE

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

MURDERFACE — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 09:38:57 MST

@The SmacK: LOL Funny you should mention that i have a unopened can of Brawndo they made this drink to promote the movie idiocracy the can looks like a oversized can of squirt but it 's funny cause on top of the health facts they state how awesome the drink is compared to the water in the toilet. hahaha.

MURDERFACE

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Type-R — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 17:37:35 MST

This list is incomplete until you try Steven Seagal's energy drink.

Type-R

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

The SmacK — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 16:06:01 MST

Well, none of these compare to the awesomeness of BRAWNDO!

It's what plants crave!

The SmacK

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

linlinchan — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 15:05:06 MST

Full Throttle is so delicious. I used to drink it all the time, not for energy, but just for... deliciousness. Oh now I want one so badly...

linlinchan

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

JaneC — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 13:53:58 MST

You write a very good article.

JaneC

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Pantsman — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 13:39:43 MST

I can't believe you omitted Bawls. This is a travesty.

Pantsman

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

sandwiches — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 13:29:43 MST

Like many others have stated: REDLINE kicks all these "baby drinks" right in the dick. Especially, the grape flavor.

Also, try "Black Pearl" if you can find it.

sandwiches

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

MURDERFACE — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 10:45:17 MST

Monster energy drinks is like crack for me. But i still have a few unopened cans of Cocaine cause after that first one i thought i was going to die. But i was at my local store and if you know your classic wrestling i just seen a Jimmy Heart Energy drink it's strong but it's good. And i still can't find those Hulk Hogan ones yet.

MURDERFACE

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Fitz Rhapsody — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 09:55:26 MST

Great feature. I don't think I'm a huge fan of plain Rockstar, but Rockstar MANGO is the shiz. Also, does this entire page turn into Italics after the Rooster Booster headline? Maybe it's just this computer...

Fitz Rhapsody

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

WPack911 — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 09:31:27 MST

Monster is my favorite energy drink, though I don't use them very much. I am glad to see it was the overall winner.

-WPack911

WPack911

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

eastx — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 09:16:48 MST

Man, Kotaku just won't stop with the excellent articles. I love me some Monster, Rockstar, and No Fear... All in Diet variety.

eastx

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

VendettaUF — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 09:08:14 MST

Anything with Guaranna seems to work for me. It gives me a level even alertness and lacks the jitteryness I sometimes get with coffee. The effects of a cup of coffee seem to vary for me. I don't consume tons of coffee though...maybe 2-3 cups a week? I do drink a decent amount of cafeinated soda though.

VendettaUF

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Binx — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 08:26:51 MST

For an organic buzz try Steaz. The orange flavored variety tastes like an orange soda with just a hint of herbal aftertaste. Great kick too.

Binx

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Gambia — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 02:44:40 MST

I'm still all for good old fashioned Lucozade, tastes nice and doesn't leave you feeling like you've not eaten for a week after.

Gambia

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Miharu — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 02:24:03 MST

Water always wins. But I only drink Pepsi Max which gives no energy or buzz whatsoever, I just drink it cause I'm addicted. At school I sometimes drink ED.

Miharu

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

8cott — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 01:36:22 MST

@Featherhammer:
the red vitamin energy water is best. indisputable. the energy i get lasts for hours on end, and there is NO crashing associated with it.

the blue sobe energy is probably the best tasting energy drink i've come across. works a lot like the vitamin water, with not too much sugar, but is a little weaker. probably because it tastes better.

Anyone ever have Monster Java??

8cott

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

TragicsNFG — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 00:59:02 MST

I like the taste of Amp and I enjoy the occasional red bull and vodka or jagermeister. But for energy I drink Beaver Buzz.

TragicsNFG

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

supercrap — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 00:46:37 MST

I'm one of the idiots who bought a case of Cocaine energy drink thinking I could resell it for big money. Pity me-I have to drink a whole case of it.

supercrap

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

CosmosGoddess — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 00:17:49 MST

Why didn't you try Bawls?

CosmosGoddess

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Zombie Bear — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 23:09:02 MST

The first time I had Cocaine, I was working in a factory. They told me to chug it. LOL. Your description of it is perfect, you feel like you're going to die, but the energy is crazy. I was actually shaking.

Zombie Bear

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

joemoemino — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 23:03:10 MST

I drank Monster for the first time in China town when they were giving cans out for free.

Havent tried anything else other than Red Bull and Rockstar, both which taste horrible.

joemoemino

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

uber_fragger — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 23:02:21 MST

It is also important to note that caffeine is one of those things that you need more of to get the same buzz each time. So the results may be scued since it takes more and more caffine to achieve the same buzz that the Cocaine gave. Personally, my favorite is a green tea energy drink called envigra. Energy drinks in general tend to screw up my sleep patterns and don't do much good for me so I drink caffeine and energy drinks as little as possible.

uber_fragger

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Crimson (PS3 ID Black--Tiger) — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 22:57:00 MST

Bawls is more like a gourmet high :D

Amp is where it's at.... Code Red, Especially.

Crimson (PS3 ID Black--Tiger)

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Justcrim — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 22:38:43 MST

Although it is odd to see Bawls up there because of their dedication to gaming (Red Bull advertises more to adreniline junkies). I must say it is a nice list of mainly popular drinks.

But, for your taste to buzz analogy, I would recommend a drink called "Can of Whoop Ass" produced by Jone's Cola. It is the best tasting energy drink and has always given me instant and long lasting energy, and most importantly, does not drop like Red Bull does.

Justcrim

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Destrado — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 21:46:19 MST

You forgot to mention that the dominant taste in all of these is cough syrup. Not that that's a bad thing though, once it's grown on you.

Destrado

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

conglomerate — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 21:13:59 MST

@Aresef:

hell yes to jolt! their new can is like an oil can or someshit.

conglomerate

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

conglomerate — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 21:12:38 MST

for real. BAWLS.

also: vitamin energy is pretty good...and i like the other flavors of rockstar's drinks way more than the original. also, RUMBA is the shit, since it's not carbonated.

conglomerate

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Ryanraven — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 21:12:10 MST

Yea i think bawls and Sparks are missing. I would like to see their levels. Grat article though!!!

Ryanraven

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

escopr — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 20:59:53 MST

@lbartley: and then puts loads of sugar and creamer in their coffee lol

escopr

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Koji Otaku — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 20:56:39 MST

For me, the best energy drink is Bawls. Best time drinking bawls: working at Kroger, with a fellow employ I know delivering two bottles in a white bag yelling "HEY MAN I GOT YOUR BAWLS IN A WHITE SACK!". At the same time, we were pretty busy and had about 20 groups of people hear that, along with whoever was in the store at the time. Not to mention me drinking it in front of customers for a while after that, and constant bawls jokes thrown around for about 2 hours.

Anything is entertaining when working as a cashier.

Koji Otaku

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

lbartley — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 20:38:01 MST

I love how everyone says these are terrible to have regularly, and then go on to drink 35 cups of coffee in a day...

lbartley

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

lbartley — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 20:35:53 MST

@Glasseater:

Calling someone weak, then then bragging about a 6 hour session? Might wanna put some more thought into your position as a gamer if 6 hours is all you have to brag about...

lbartley

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Xiatter — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 20:34:35 MST

Also-- Monster Khaos.

Best energy drink flavor in the world, as far as I'm concerned.

Try it man.

DO IT.

Xiatter

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Gouki4u's avatar has a severe case of Jekyll and Hyde — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 20:32:47 MST

@TouchMyBox: I wouldn't go so far as to call my lifestyle healthy, but I gave up soda last year, and won't touch energy drinks, but I still go to LAN parties.

Gouki4u's avatar has a severe case of Jekyll and Hyde

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Xiatter — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 20:27:59 MST

Word of advice--
Try the ones you liked again. It might depend on how old the particular can happens to be, or what else you've consumed recently.

But I can safely say that both Nos and Full Throttle have at least as much kick as Monster, and Monster has more kick than I think you gave it credit for. Generally. Sometimes Monster wins it for me over everything else. Even over the best coffee.

Speaking of the bean, those Java Monsters are something else, too. Love that new Russian and the Nut Up.

Xiatter

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

bwwardiii — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 20:16:01 MST

@Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee: You're awesome to me for what you just said...

Personally when I wanted to try red bull just to stay awake at my later job I had to mix it with Dr. Pepper to get used to it. I haven't had monster yet but it's the only one they sell at my school so I'll have to try it now.

But I agree. Energy drinks are not good to have regularly.

bwwardiii

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

rdldr1 — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 19:59:48 MST

My personal fave is Monster. My choice of energy drink to combine with vodka.

rdldr1

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

SanjiX — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 19:57:04 MST

You know this is kind of odd, Monster actually had a promotion in my college for one day and gave me the Monster Energy drink and the Java drink. Both which were, very, very good. I went out and bought the javas at sams club. Its damn good stuff, if you don't like coffee then stick with Monster. Its good, but yesterday I drunk two cans of the java and had the most painful stomach ache in ages and I barely slept. It COULD of been the drinks, but who knows. As Mike said, don't drink any of these on a constant basis... infact, as good as that coffee is I may have to lay off of it for a while. =(

SanjiX

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

TouchMyBox — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 19:34:17 MST

How anybody could actually drink this junk is beyond me, I can't even force myself to drink pops anymore due to their disgusting taste and unhealthy nature. Energy Drinks seems to up the ante of absurdity. Is anyone else here with me on this? Am I alone in being a hardcore gamer with a healthy lifestlye? :(

TouchMyBox

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

escopr — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 19:33:51 MST

tea is weaksauce for energy though I enjoy it myself to be honest

I wouldn't say that coffee is a better alternative to certain energy drinks though, many energy drinks(rockstar,monster,sobe) are packed with a pretty outstanding vitamin complex.

escopr

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

spectre51 — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 19:27:43 MST

If you guys want to try Cocaine Energy Drink you can now order it online at [www.drinkcocaine.com] The burn-less version isn't out right now but should be soon. By far my favorite energy drink, though I am a little partial. Make sure you drink it ice cold otherwise the burn is worse :) Enjoy.

spectre51

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

crazyorloco — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 19:19:54 MST

This will come in handle when SSBB comes, there's going to be some looong nights with friends and I battling at my house.

It'll be like the goldeneye days. :-)

crazyorloco

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

THECapedCaper — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 19:14:17 MST

The Sugar-Free Monster (marketed as the Low-Carb version in a blue can) is just as good with taste and kick as a regular Monster. However, the "crash" that one would normally get is virtually non-existent. I generally prefer it to the regular version for this reason, but either way Monster has been and for years on will probably be the energy drink to beat in the surging market.

THECapedCaper

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Aresef — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 19:12:09 MST

I prefer Rockstar Juiced (best breakfast ever), Bawls, and Jolt. Where the hell is Jolt on here? That crap has enough caffeine to wake the dead.

Aresef

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

bizsnatch9 — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 19:12:06 MST

bawls is the best...smooth taste and good kick. It's worth the extra trip...you can get them at target now.

bizsnatch9

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Kcet — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 19:04:54 MST

damn and i thought bawls was a bad name for an energy drink... cocaine? hmm i suppose someone asking for either would be weird, but i still have to say hearing someone say "i want some bawls" would sound a lot worse

Kcet

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

newkular — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 18:59:30 MST

buddy and i split a 6er of red bull....nothing after 2 each.....on our third....he made me laugh and i spit everything into my can and thusly, into my eyes....20 minutes later he was out...i was wired for about 12 hours.

newkular

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

escopr — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 18:57:39 MST

On paper red bull is the most powerful common drink sold in america, also imo one of the worst tasting.

The best tasting and best long term working energy drink i've had was Rockstar Juiced(namely the guava and mango). It should be noted that the tall cans are usually labled under the nutritional facts as 2 servings so in reality you're forced to drink more to get the same energy as the smaller ones so it's a marketing ploy when they say you get more. You'll get more fluid but not necessarily more energy. But i'm alright with that since I tend to take my time with drinks but for 100% effectiveness they do have to be chugged.

escopr

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Slick-Rick — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 18:47:53 MST

I've always kinda had an "eh" attitude about energy drinks.

The way I figure it if I REALLY need to be awake for extended amounts of time. Illicit stimulants will do a better job of it.

Rockstars are damn good though.

Slick-Rick

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

gadgetfanatic — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 18:42:35 MST

@dipic: No you're not.

gadgetfanatic

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Aero7 — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 18:42:02 MST

Tea hands down.

Aero7

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

damagicsausage — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 18:38:51 MST

Wow I was looking though this whole article for bawls... Why did they leave it out?

damagicsausage

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Vegan Shinigami — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 18:32:20 MST

@bird1988:

Yuss!!! CC LEMON! And Ramune too!!! Oishii!!

Vegan Shinigami

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

weasl — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 18:29:16 MST

@Lyner:

It really depends on the person, most cola, coffee, and tea have little to no affect on me.

weasl

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

.endejas. — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 18:28:26 MST

A regular SoBe citrus or an Arizona Iced Tea do awesome for me when I'm gaming.

Most energy drinks taste like ass to me.

.endejas.

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

weasl — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 18:27:59 MST

My energy drink of choice is Monster. As an added bonus the lo carb version doesn't taste like complete piss.

weasl

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Lyner — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 18:26:42 MST

Bottom line: If you need a kick, Coffee and Tea are the best ways to go. Every other possible energy drink available out there are harmful to health anyway.

Lyner

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Marlor — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 18:09:23 MST

If I want to wake myself up, I just drink a couple of cups of tea.

It increases your alertness, without any of the side-effects that you get from drinking too much cola or coffee.

Marlor

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Otaconnachos — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 18:07:59 MST

Awesome read.

Otaconnachos

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

bgator — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 18:04:36 MST

Wheres the BAWLS? Great taste and good buzz due to the guarana. I love that stuff I drink one everyday.

bgator

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

otaking241 — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 18:01:36 MST

You left sugar off the list of ingredients. All of the drinks you use have it in abundance, and the sugar high you get is a large part of what makes an energy drink work.

The "burn" you describe in Cocaine sounds a lot like the burn you get in your throat when you swallow GNC's Thermo Burst, which is supposed to increase the rate at which you burn calories during a workout. Could be the same ingredient, though I haven't been able to pin down which it is that actually causes the sensation.

otaking241

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

tshack — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 17:57:58 MST

I drink rockstar before and during my math class to keep me awake and paying attention, may need to switch over to cocaine so people can hear me coughing in pain while writing down formulas

tshack

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

bird1988 — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 17:54:30 MST

C.c. lemon anyone?

bird1988

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Domobran — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 17:53:22 MST

Does anyone drink water anymore?

Domobran

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Hion — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 17:50:11 MST

I appreciate you going through the trouble of drinking all those just for us!

Hion

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

lostalaska — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 17:48:56 MST

I read the entire article and then I got to the last line... Oh no! I'm living wrong!

Coffee is my preferred choice of energy drink. Sure it doesn't have the sexy labels or the to the XXXtream marketing, but it works well and is penny's on the dollar compared to the energy drinks.

A few years ago I was working a job delivering beer for Coors, and it had weird hours lots of early, early mornings and late evenings attending "functions". So I ended up drinking a lot of energy drinks in the morning. Some of those drinks would cause me to crash so hard after a few hours it was almost better to go without them.

I figure in another 20 years when we're going to the doctor for our annual check up they'll look at us concerned and ask... "So it looks like you were a heavy drinker when you were younger was it alcohol or energy drinks that made your liver what it is today?" Sadly I'll end up saying both...

lostalaska

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

UnknownFactor — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 17:40:58 MST

BAWLS?!?

UnknownFactor

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

VeNoMmx — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 17:40:55 MST

Hey! treat review, thanks for the comparison chart. We really don´t have that much energy drinks here on Mexico but my favorite one is one called "Burn" from the Coca Cola Company, it is the one that has kept me going, also tried several others like Red Bull, Monster, Rockstar, Amp Energy and so on but nothing like the Burn...you should try it!

VeNoMmx

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Brian Crecente — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 17:39:44 MST

@cynopt: Don't forget the breaking most hard news bit, ay...
;)

[kotaku.com]

Brian Crecente

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

SLUMBERPARTY — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 17:37:40 MST

You forgot another stimulant in Red Bull and a few others: Glucuronolactone. They didn't just print it on the label for kicks.

If you think it's not a stimulant, then down anywhere from 300-1000mgs of the bulk powder.

Also, some drinks like Spike and 5 Hour energy use Tyrosine as well.

SLUMBERPARTY

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

cynopt — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 17:35:17 MST

Good article; between posts on arts 'n crafts and various editors' domestic lives, this is rapidly turning into the Ladies Home Journal for gaming nerds.
Keep it up, sez I

For the record, those Rockstar 'n fruit juice drinks keep me plugging; dunno what happened to Fahey's test except it was a bit late in the day, and the Rockstar drinks seem to provide more of a slow but steady drip of caffeine over two or three hours, which cuts down on the jitters, but doesn't give you that Captain Caveman style rush.

cynopt

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

VanFinale — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 17:15:16 MST

Boo Koo is the best energy drink it tastes awesome and is probably more powerful than any of those except for maybe the cocaine but I doubt it.

VanFinale

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

GameCasa — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 17:14:51 MST

My favorites are NOS and COCAINE. Nos is smoother but not as high octane as Cocaine. The only downfall of Cocaine the drink is that you feel edgy afterwards, not unlike the real thing. Don't ask how I know that(personal experience).

GameCasa

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Norellicus — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 17:13:24 MST

Great story, very fascinating results.

I too would like to see a test of Bawls though, because that's one of those almost pure guarana drinks but also tastes pretty damned good, which would fly in the face of your theory (not that I make a hobby out of debunking your theories, Fahey >_>).

Norellicus

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

GOLD5 — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 17:10:19 MST

If you look on the labels the cans list the amount of caffeine in mg. The Rockstar and Rockstar Juiced (my favorite), as well as Monster, have by far the most amount. Look out though because the new flavor ones often have lower amounts of caffeine than the main type. Generally, the small cans, for the same amount of money usually have around 80mg, the big cans have 15-160. Just go for the one with the most. Red Bull have the small can market covered, people who have smaller bodyweight (like Britney or my wife) like the smaller dose. Big manly men like deal of two in one you get from the double cans but you get a real rush from those. The vodka cooler ones are an even better head buzz, but you can only get them at the liquor store. The best part is that they are only $3 just like the regular store kind. In line with the price of the other coolers. Just shows you how mush they burn you for this stuff. They did a study and found that if you package Fruitopia in a larger economy size, people don't think it's as special, and they won't pay a ridiculous price for it. That's why they'll never make 2L sized energy drinks from the major competitors. they just pack six small ones together and charge straight up original price. Bastards.. I liked it when the slogan for Jolt Cola was, "All the Sugar, Twice the Caffeine", before they were bought by Coke and wussed out.

GOLD5

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Mrmoo2002 — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 17:09:09 MST

This article almost seems like it belongs on Lifehack or something. Totally invaluable information for pretty much anyone out there. Great read!

Mrmoo2002

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Tiger-Fever — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 17:04:58 MST

@Deadeyereborn: Not in Manitoba. Only place I've been to that sells it in bags in Ontario. Saskatchewan and Alberta don't, from what I remember but I haven't been there for years.

Tiger-Fever

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

aut0b0t0pt1mus — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 17:04:40 MST

yeah.. you're missing Jolt. GOTTA respect Jolt. Nerd Energy is a new one that i tried, tastes nothing like other energy drinks and it gave me more of a clarity of mind buzz than it did the 'i wanna run up a wall' buzz. BUT. i got a mean ass migrane an hour or so after i drank it. but every now and then i just get a red vault and get the same buzz i would paying 3 bucks for an energy drink. Pepsi Max is good too.. if you can get past the diet taste.

aut0b0t0pt1mus

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

stranger — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 16:58:23 MST

Well... correct me if I'm wrong but at a certain point your body can't imbibe any more caffeine. So, if you were drinking these things one after another you'd eventually stop feeling the "buzz" associated with the stimulants as your body just passes them unused.

Guess a lot of people drink this shit if this post already has 200 comments and like 500 Diggs...

I pity your livers.

stranger

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Ehardergardens — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 16:52:55 MST

I like Viso, specifically the Will flavor... that does double the work on me that Rockstar or any of the others do.
I also used to be a big fan of Josta which was the first soft drink I recall to be marketed using Guarana. Viso currently has limited distribution (lots of health food stores around me) and Josta, I don't know if it made it out of a test market status.

Ehardergardens

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

LilBigMac — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 16:46:55 MST

Kudos to the author of this article. My stomach usually does somersaults after only one can of any type of energy drink. So for you to drink more than one for the sake of your readers/science, hats off to you.

AnimeWP.com

LilBigMac

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Vidril — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 16:45:40 MST

RedBull, Rockstar, and sobe no fear are my favs.. they're so addictive. xD

Vidril

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

FunkyJ — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 16:35:37 MST

I'm just waiting for the day when they actually start putting something that will really keep you awake into these things...

FunkyJ

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

msondo — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 16:33:38 MST

Jolt???

And yeah, Bawls is all over Penny Arcade.

I have tried a few energy drinks but I prefer coffee or tea.

msondo

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Jason144 — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 16:32:38 MST

I had a Monster once.

Tasted like a mixture of fresh urine, bleach, and grape-flavored children's cough syrup (probably their secret ingredient).

Apple juice FTW.

Jason144

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

cerberus011 — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 16:28:48 MST

Mike you should do this again only go for the drinks targeted towards gamers like the new mana energy drink.
It be interesting to see if those drinks do anything to help gamers

cerberus011

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

天雷 — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 16:21:38 MST

I'm a fan of Bawls and the Rockstar Juiced Guava stuff. I never drink them though - I'm all about coffee and tea.

天雷

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Cyanbane — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 16:17:35 MST

No Bawls? Mike Fahey, You Sir are a Commie.

Cyanbane

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Haniko — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 16:17:20 MST

Don't those things have like fifty billions grams of sugar in them? I would hate to see how much weight you gained from those suckers.

Haniko

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

xiLLeNtz — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 16:11:51 MST

monster has to be my hands down fav. especially the one with orange instead of green on the can !

xiLLeNtz

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Nikral — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 16:11:06 MST

Wow awesome article!!
My fave right now is the Rockstar + Vodka (it's somehow cheaper than actual Rockstar!)
but monster assault is sooo mmm mmm delicious!

Nikral

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

infi — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 16:04:29 MST

my favourite "energy drink" is a fair-trade guarana drink, guaranito

infi

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Brian Crecente — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 16:03:18 MST

For what it's worth, when I tried Bawls three years ago for my piece in RAB, I found it didn't pack much of a comparative kick. Though back in the day I was a hard-core caffeine addict.
[www.redassedbaboon.com]

Brian Crecente

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

half-beast — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 16:01:36 MST

I've grown an attachment to NOS.
On top of actually tasting good and providing a little edge, there's an Exxon station near me that sells the big bottles at a discounted price.

half-beast

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

PsycheDiver — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:57:36 MST

I can't get a hold of NOS, but I'll give Monster a try.

PsycheDiver

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

CrispyCrunch — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:56:47 MST

I'm not much in Energy Drinks, but the only one i knew is Red Bull :-/. I don't think we have them here in Germany, but maybe it's just because i didn't noticed them.

CrispyCrunch

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Brian Crecente — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:56:23 MST

@FrigidAir44: I totally told him to look for Pimp Juice when I assigned this. :(

Brian Crecente

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Evil_Snow_Man — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:51:03 MST

Jager and Redbull for the nasty drink that gets you on your way to a whole night of booziness without slowing down.

Evil_Snow_Man

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

indigo — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:50:20 MST

Awesome graphs. I had an idea though, the line graph might be more helpful if you had time on the x axis instead of the drinks. Maybe two seperate graphs? A histogram for the type of drink and their score (you already have that), and then a line graph for buzz over how much time you drank the drinks in. This idea wouldn't work out too well if you had the drink on different days... unless you maybe had the drink, and took note of how buzzed you felt afterwards every 30 minutes. Then you'd have a graph for each drink and you could combine it into one graph with different colored lines for each drink! Awesome..

indigo

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Brian Crecente — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:50:10 MST

@DanAmrich: So both of them used glasses, so it's a rip off?

Brian Crecente

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

deadmanaic — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:48:58 MST

One energy drink that you have over looked that is taking America by storm is XS. It is a no sugar no carb energy drink that comes in about 10 different flavors and has an energy basis of B-12. If you want more information contact deadmanaic@aol.com.

deadmanaic

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

BobbishMinEarl — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:48:07 MST

@ShawnC++: They do have Jolt on the West coast as well, but they do seem hard to come by.

BobbishMinEarl

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

V1L3 — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:47:20 MST

"Studies have shown that guarana has the effect of increasing memory retention and physical endurance in rats."

At least when the machines take over, their reign of tyranny will be cut short by hordes of these indefatigable smart-rats.

V1L3

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

The Great Moof — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:46:58 MST

I like Rockstar and the Sobe No Fear. I don't depend on a ton of artificial energy, but they're a nice extra somethin' when you're feeling less than energized. Like a slow Monday morning, for instance.

The Great Moof

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Brian Crecente — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:46:37 MST

@mizmarie: I'm flabergasted to re such stupidity coming from a commenter. You really don't think that energy drinks are in anyway a part of gaming culture?

More importantly, what gawker policy?

Brian Crecente

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

DanAmrich — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:45:02 MST

@Brian Crecente: Sorry, don't see the presentation of the energy drink in an alcohol glass.

Ideas are universal, but it did strike me as suspicious when one of our readers pointed it out. 'Sall I'm saying.

DanAmrich

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

ForwardInReverse — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:44:59 MST

@MrBionic: Agreed, although I havent tried the Green Tea flavour.

ForwardInReverse

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Unkalars — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:44:50 MST

[www.thedailyshow.com]

Unkalars

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

ovid — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:43:50 MST

what no bawls.......

ovid

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Brian Crecente — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:43:08 MST

@DanAmrich: Wow, that looks familiar:
[www.redassedbaboon.com]
Ps. I wrote that RAB article about this three years ago. So I win.
:)

Brian Crecente

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

TheBoxNinja — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:42:24 MST

now... to show this to my brother Ryan.....

TheBoxNinja

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

scoottie — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:41:54 MST

[www.bawls.com]

scoottie

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

DanAmrich — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:40:08 MST

Wow. This looks familiar!
[oxmonline.com]

DanAmrich

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

WickedGirl — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:37:42 MST

Oh my God! LAME! These energy drinks are all relying on the caffeine to give a buzz and not much else. I am big inot natural supplements, and these drink all contain an impressive list of amino acids along with the caffeine, but I have tried many of these drinks and none of them were worth a damn compared to one put out last year (more on that in a minute). In addition, I don't recall that any of these drinks tells you how much of each ingredient is really in them, so I am betting THE main ingredient is caffeine with a smidge of each of the other ingredients to make them look good. They all also contain either sugar or high fructose corn syrup as sweeteners. Oh goody! More ways to put on weight besides just sitting still while gaming!

Now....the REAL deal in energy and focus drinks....Redline Extreme! Not the regular version, the Extreme version. Yes it has caffeine, but it does not rely on the caffeine for its effects. Its ingredients are specifically designed for enhanced energy and focus in the weight room, and the focus that this drink provides is equivalent to my ADD meds. And, it is sugar free. Someone should have reviewed this one. Get away from the so-called energy drinks sold in the 7-11's and register-side coolers in Walmart and target. Go find the real deals in the Vitamin Shoppe and other vitamin/nutrition stores. They don't seel the crap listed in the above article at all. There is a reason for that.

WickedGirl

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Polkster — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:36:38 MST

Why don't you look up something called the scientific method and then learn how to be a real journalist?

Polkster

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

TK423 — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:35:49 MST

Sorry, but I have to disagree with you on most of those. I find Red Bull delicious, and I can only relate the taste of Monster to licking the bar room floor at 4:00 am after a bunch of people decided to shit and piss all over it.

TK423

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Eothein — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:35:26 MST

......There's far too much reliance on energy drinks nowadays.

If you absolutely must stay up all night playing Halo than get your life in order.
Adopt a good balanced diet and a regulated amount of exercise and rest. I.E at least an hour of exercise a day and 8 hours pure sleep.

If your lifestyle is anything like the above the staying up till the wee hours of the morning should be no problem. Although having say 10 hours of sleep the day before an all nighter will help.

I've never had any problems staying up for large amounts of time and I don't drink coffee/energy drinks/alcohol.

Bottom line if you feel tired and your body wants to go to sleep than obey it don't repress it by pumping chemicals into your body in the long run it won't help. Like feeling hungry or thirsty, the feeling of being tired is your body telling you something is wrong.

Eothein

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

ludwigk — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:35:09 MST

@redpyramidthing: Srsly!! I used to own a gaming LAN, and I was a Bawls reseller. Actually, I was Hobarama Corporation's only point of distribution for the state of Maine.

Strangely enough, I'm wearing a Bawls T-shirt right now, even.

ludwigk

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

y2kenjination — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:34:51 MST

@DangerChimp: Good point. I've been meaning to see one, but didn't think this was a significant problem.

y2kenjination

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

siblog — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:33:43 MST

I just stick with tequila, it keeps me wired and makes gameplay more fun, though sometimes I lose a few hours of memories

siblog

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

DangerChimp — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:28:09 MST

@y2kenjination: If you're chronically fatigued even after a full night's sleep, you could be suffering from anemia or a number of more serious afflictions. Rather than going to the store for another energy drink, I'd go to the doctor if I were you.

DangerChimp

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

mizmarie — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:25:16 MST

Am I seriously the only person who is somewhat flabbergasted at seeing this article here? I thought I was on a gaming site. I get that there is a tenuous link between gamers and energy drinks, but I'm here for gaming stories, not... I don't even know what this is.

Guess that new Gawker policy will lead to more of this, though. :/

mizmarie

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

RaveGamer — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:23:08 MST

No Bawls? Jolt?

RaveGamer

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

bakedpigeon — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:21:59 MST

I just pop an adderall in and take a couple gulps of water and im good and wired for the next eight hours.

Oh ya, rockstar is the best.

bakedpigeon

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

axiomatic — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:21:41 MST

When they make one that does not rot a hole in my stomach I might try one again.

axiomatic

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

wired_fenix — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:21:39 MST

Not sure if anyone else has mentioned it, but I enjoy the recent wave of fruit based energy drinks.

The Monster Khaos (orange/citrus) and the Rockstar juice ones are the best and go down easy since they taste good. I also enjoy the Monster Coffee based energy drink that hit a few months back.

But in all cases, do not drink energy drinks at room temperature. Cool those puppies down first! ^_^

wired_fenix

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

frankstallone — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:19:51 MST

@Glasseater:

I have to agree. The excitement of the SNES was enough to keep me up for well over 24 hours.

frankstallone

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

y2kenjination — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:14:42 MST

uhhh ok...didn't mean to hit submit.

Anyhow, I found that it's a very bad idea to mix various energy drinks.

I tend to drink energy drinks quite often, 'cause I'm feeling fatigued all the time (even after 7 or 8 hours of sleep a night). It seems like energy drinks are just about the only things that can wake me up. So what I'd like to know is exactly how bad is it to drink energy drinks on a regular basis?

and Fahey...Monster? Seriously? I can't stand that crap. It's all about Red Bull (Jaeger bombs ftw), Amped, No Fear, and Rockstar Pomegranate.

y2kenjination

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

jeffx — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:14:37 MST

amazing article, really. I am a big fan of Rockstar and Red Rave (probably Canada-only). Of course, I love straight up coffee as well, and regularly consume 2 to 3 cups a day.

jeffx

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

floppylobster — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:12:46 MST

I drank energy drinks for about 10 years solid. Until I started suffering from depression, memory loss without them, and now have high blood pressure. I'm sure there're other things could have caused those symptoms but once I broke free of my slight addiction I haven't missed them.

Red Bull used to make a muscle in my back twitch too. It wouldn't usually happen until about three nights after I'd been drinking it. Took me ages before I realised the cause.

The best way to pull an all-nighter is to get up in the afternoon.

floppylobster

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

y2kenjination — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:12:00 MST

Did you get sick afterwards? After endless all-nighters for college exams, I learned that it's a very bad idea

y2kenjination

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

DARK DVNT; DARKDVNT [Xfire/Yahoo/Aim] ;Plz visit my website, k, thx. — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:11:01 MST

I agree, don't make them a habit. I personally perfer homemade tea or any tea. The kind you have to make not buy in a can. But when I have to get my gaming fix in i will resort to a BooKoo. They taste good and don;t murder my stomach later on.

DARK DVNT; DARKDVNT [Xfire/Yahoo/Aim] ;Plz visit my website, k, thx.

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

billygoat117 — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:09:58 MST

Great article, Fahey. I was actually having this exact conversation last night with some of my buddies. I've never tried Monster before but I think I'm going to go grab one right now.

billygoat117

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Meuacan — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:09:24 MST

Well, my search for the mythical Cocaine has returned fruitless. Apparently, it's easier to find REAL cocaine than the energy drink down here in Miami. It's like I'm looking for the holy freaking grail or something.

Anyone in the 305 manage to find a store that sells them? I'll go as far as Kendall or Hialeah (shudder) for it.

@badasscat: I stand corrected.

Meuacan

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Akmed — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:09:23 MST

AMP. or just plain old MD

Akmed

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

tazz77 — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:09:11 MST

@CyricZ: I tried it and was not too fond of it, I think it had something to do with that concentrated sugar cane juice or whatever it was.

tazz77

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Hoppasaurus — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:08:21 MST

No one has mentioned SPIKE???? That shit is so strong half of the can is a freaking WARNING LABEL. It's the size of a red bull can, HALF A CAN (RedBull size can) is about as potent as a FULL POT OF STARBUCK'S! Careful, folks. People have actually had to go to the E.R. from drinking this stuff!

[en.wikipedia.org]

Hoppasaurus

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Konatsu — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:03:30 MST

@tk.: Electrolytes, Turbolytes, Powerlytes, more -lytes than your body has room for!!

Konatsu

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

fuchikoma — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:02:11 MST

@dilpickies:
That nicotine thing is a myth started by other energy drinks in the same category - or maybe a webcomic...

I can probably get the English ingredient list in about 2 hours when I get home though? It would probably have been stuck to the bottles to be sold legally here.

What happened in Canada was that it couldn't be sold as a soft drink because it was artifically caffeinated while not being a coffee or "brown cola." So the importer registered it as an over the counter medication (sold exclusively at 7-11 in the drinks section!) which I guess eventually motivated the normal channels to get the canned pop formula approved here. Don't know how, but Jolt was able to caffeinate the fruit flavors before that, but normal Mountain Dew has no caffeine here - or at least didn't last time I checked. :/

fuchikoma

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

toneroni — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 14:58:45 MST

nice article...i generally stay away from this stuff though.

toneroni

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

jslay012 — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 14:55:03 MST

caffine pills, FTW!

If you like the energy drink buzz, may as well go right to the source. They are super cheap, too. 50 100mg pills are usually less than $5 at your local Walmart/target, etc. Be careful with them, though. Most energy drinks have less than 80mg of caffine.

But if you have to drink your rush, the newly re-launched Jolt energy sodas taste awesome (grape, cola, & orange at least) and have 220 mg per tallboy can. Good luck finding them, though. Here in boston they sell out as soon as they hit the shelves of the few 7-11s that do carry them. I have seriously considered ordering a case direct from the manufacturer. I can't believe no one else has mentioned it in this thread....

jslay012

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Plan303e — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 14:51:32 MST

OH YEAH, MONSTER.

Plan303e

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Lone-Gun — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 14:51:25 MST

For anyone wondering 5 hour energy is some really nasty stuff, on the other hand it works really well and doesn't make me feel sick even before playing football. If you do try it avoid lemon lime flavor its horrible and made me want to rinse my mouth out with acid.

Lone-Gun

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

badasscat — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 14:51:13 MST

@wildweasel: I agree with you and everybody else saying the same - if I was going to drink an "energy drink", it'd be coffee.

"Energy drinks" like these are to caffeine what wine coolers, Zima and Smirnoff Ice are to alcohol. They're energy drinks for people who can't handle a real energy drink, ie. coffee. At least in coffee, the caffeine happens naturally.

That said, too much of any of this stuff is awful for your body. And my opinion is, any amount of caffeine from an artificial source is too much.

badasscat

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Slint — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 14:49:30 MST

Great read. Enjoyed it. :)

Slint

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

DangerChimp — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 14:47:11 MST

Gee, I wonder if any large beverage companies sponsored Kotaku this week? Could this "story" idea have originated outside the Kotaku Towers? Hmm. I wonder what sponsors Kotaku will list at the end of the week.

I may be wrong, but for a gaming Web site, an energy drink feature seems kind of random -- not to mention potentially lethal. You're not supposed to drink more than 2 Red Bull-sized cans of taurine-containing beverages in a 24 hour period.

Hope the projectile diarrahea wasn't too painful, dude.

DangerChimp

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

SeanBradley — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 14:45:33 MST

Excellent review of the products at hand. I tend to get tired of drinking the same concoction for too long so I've developed a penchant for trying EVERYTHING on the market for variety.. You had a few on there I've never had, but I didn't see any of the lower shelf, store brand drinks there either..'cept the Rooster Bosster maybe.

Bawls isn't worth listing in my opinion, it's just a weak drink in a pretty bottle.

Well done sir, now get some rest!

SeanBradley

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Neuromancer — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 14:42:51 MST

Yeah I agree with Jive238, not only because 238 is my magic number, but also because Brawndo Has What Plants Crave. The omission of the energy drink from the future is inexcusable.

Neuromancer

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

redgopher — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 14:42:42 MST

I'd agree with Monster -- that stuff works well. So does Lost, and Rockstar Juiced. I highly recommend the latter.

For those wondering, Bawls is a pretty mellow drink. It's mainly just a fizzy guarana beverage so you don't get the intense buzz of the drinks that throw everything in.

And I'm sorry you had to drink Cocaine. Try checking YouTube for the.. I think Daily Show, or Colbert, video of the interview with the guy who made it. It's hilarious.

redgopher

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Kenoji — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 14:41:25 MST

What about Vitamin energy?- its all I use for the most part.

Those others are chalked full of high fructose corn syrup, which is bad, and produces the same after taste.

Kenoji

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

dilpickies — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 14:39:35 MST

@fuchikoma: Thai Red Bull is great. Tastes just like cough syrup. They also lace it with nicotine there, too.

dilpickies

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Cenobite — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 14:39:30 MST

Ahhh... I remeber "JOLT" used to be the go-to for all nighters.

Cenobite

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

BOMxAgonyxScenex — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 14:38:45 MST

do people really need energy drinks? weak weak fools

BOMxAgonyxScenex

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Giolon — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 14:37:54 MST

WTF? How could you leave Bawls out of the lineup?

Giolon

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Mort — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 14:37:06 MST

One thing that puzzles me, Mike.. You tested all these fancy-shmancy energy drinks and ranked and graded them all, but you didn't include good ol' coffe in the test...
What the hell..?

Espresso should be in there aswell.. Just saying.. My espresso machine might be my best investmen ever..

Mort

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

solidsquirrel — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 14:36:47 MST

WATER WINS!

solidsquirrel

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

tk. — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 14:36:26 MST

What about POWERTHIRST™? It will make you so fast that Mother Nature will be like "Sloooow dowwwwn!" And then you'll kick her in the face with your ENERGY LEGS!

SCIENCE!
ENERGY!
SCIENCE!
ENERGY!

Prepare to be uncomfortably energetic!

tk.

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

jive238 — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 14:35:12 MST

@Linnard:
Already did a Brawndo ad a few posts back. Repost for EMPHASIS!!
BRAWNDO THE THIRST MUTILATOR

jive238

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Wei — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 14:33:48 MST

Bawls can be found at most grocery stores from NY to FL and even OK...It's great frozen/slushy

Wei

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

wildweasel — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 14:31:36 MST

You know, for an average gamer that isn't incredibly active (or hell, anybody for that matter), a nice tall glass of water is usually enough to keep the body going. You aren't putting any of that crazy stuff in your body, and yet you're keeping yourself nice and hydrated, and your body is able to work more smoothly. What's a couple bathroom breaks once in a while to that, huh?

And besides...if I wanted something specifically for an all-nighter, I'd have to agree with Nickatiah above in saying that coffee is good. Remember, most household coffee has a decent water content as well. Just at least put a little sugar or milk in it, unless you're going for the "Cocaine"-esque bitterness.

wildweasel

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

badasscat — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 14:28:15 MST

@MrMcdoobie: I just drink water and piss

Dude, that's pretty nasty.

badasscat

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

beezdeez — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 14:27:08 MST

How about a hippie speedball?

beezdeez

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

FP Furious_Liver, lacks independence — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 14:26:59 MST

...Ginseng ay... >_>

FP Furious_Liver, lacks independence

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

MrMcdoobie: I don't do drugs — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 14:25:55 MST

Man, I drank Cocaine once and that shit burrrrrrned. Not to mention it gave me a stomach ache shortly after. I just drink water and piss - getting up to piss is inconvenient but it'll keep you awake and let you know that your penis is working.

MrMcdoobie: I don't do drugs

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

Centy — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 14:22:17 MST

I'll stick to nicotine and lucozade thanks.

Centy

Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks

badasscat — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 14:20:26 MST

@Meuacan: Alcohol is a depressant, never a stimulant. Doesn't matter what else is in it or how it's made.

badasscat