Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films - Kotaku Comments

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

Cheese — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 09:12:43 MST

a couple more blows and he's out!

Postal may be his last saving grace if people happen to like it... which is never gonna happen lol

Cheese

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

bubuli — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 19:45:34 MST

i was an atheist before i read this article; now i believe that there is a God.

bubuli

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

Benjo — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 18:42:41 MST

It always makes sense to release a crappy B-Movie starring Ray Liota during Oscar Season.

Benjo

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

futurebiblehero — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 17:42:13 MST

@seafisch: Looks like someone's averse to danger.

futurebiblehero

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

krunkjuice — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 17:26:05 MST

I wonder how well Portal will go as a movie when Uwe gets around to making it?

krunkjuice

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

neojam — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 16:03:53 MST

About friggin time!

neojam

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

aeonpulse — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 15:21:56 MST

THANK GOD

aeonpulse

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

Sabre_Justice: Okay, no more long name. — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 15:19:15 MST

@Knoxximus: Eh, to be honest, the video game properties probably don't help.

Nice. Too bad he's heading back into B-movie territory though, he can pump out those without much fear of losing money...

Sabre_Justice: Okay, no more long name.

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

Trog13 — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 15:05:20 MST

I skimmed over the quote, because I don't really care what Boll says, and that caused me to read "Postal" as "Portal" and I almost shit out of anger.

Trog13

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

PositivelyGreg — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 14:44:07 MST

Start compiling the list of games we need to keep Uwe from ever learning about! How completely would the gaming world's head implode if he announced he was making, say, Beyond Good & Evil, the movie?

Only by working together in a grand conspiracy can we save the good ones!

PositivelyGreg

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

fuchikoma — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 13:56:58 MST

In the end, let's hope Boll is remembered as an hero...

(If the grammar looks wrong to you, you're missing the meaning.)

fuchikoma

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

TheNocturnalSun — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 13:50:45 MST

gud news

TheNocturnalSun

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

Garro — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 13:47:23 MST

Im gonna kneel down and pray, for this oh-so-righteous deliverance. Thank you, thank you for ending this tyrant of cinema and video games.

Garro

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

Knoxximus (XBL/PSN) — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 13:14:29 MST

Hopefully, Hollywood rightly blames only the director, and not video game properties, for the generally poor performance of videogame movies.

Knoxximus (XBL/PSN)

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

2NinjasTapedTogether — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 13:06:57 MST

Who's retreating from whom here, I wonder.

Either way... I wish the man good health, cuz I'm not THAT much of a jerk... But I really want him to stop making movies.

Also: "hat trick of suck" is an awesome phrase which I hope to add to my every day vocabulary somehow. No wonder you get paid to blog!

2NinjasTapedTogether

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

Mesren_Makai — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 13:05:21 MST

@SithNinja: I loved that Celebrity Jeopardy skit. I loved all of them.

Anyways, good to see that Uwe's little ice mound is melting.

Mesren_Makai

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

KriMiKa — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 12:57:01 MST

Yay!!! Hollywood finally caught up with him.

KriMiKa

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

seafisch — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 12:53:07 MST

@SithNinja: Perhaps, but I'm sure there are other talentless hacks he could have impersonated. =P

seafisch

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

elpierce — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 12:41:50 MST

So he's making movies about tax shelters now?

elpierce

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

brandonf — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 12:38:15 MST

Amen. Straight to DVD where he belongs.

brandonf

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

Mr.SithNinja — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 12:36:49 MST

@seafisch:
But with out Burt Reynolds we would have no Norm MacDonnald playing Burt Reynolds on SNL Jeopardy. "Call me Turd Furguson!" comedic GOLD!!!!

Mr.SithNinja

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

DCSimian — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 12:35:40 MST

@Strangelove:

The funders have to know the kind of ship he's running...I wouldn't doubt it if they received some of whatever money he gets making $70 million turds.

I mean, his last two films tanked and you'd think after that, people would wise up. But when $$$ are involved, artistic integrity tends to go out the window.

DCSimian

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

jx1 — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 12:32:49 MST

[www.postal-the-movie.com] The Movie looks worse than I thought.

jx1

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

jx1 — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 12:29:44 MST

@Greeklightning1:
Postal Comes out Feb 2
o_O;;

[www.rottentomatoes.com]

jx1

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

Greeklightning1 — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 12:24:25 MST

Postal? HAHA. Best joke i have heard/read in a while.

Greeklightning1

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

ERazER — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 12:04:57 MST

@Illiad: Oh, NO, not beer tapper! That was one of my favorite games.

ERazER

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

strix — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 12:00:15 MST

I have to say I never liked any of Uwe's films... I'm sure nobody really did either.

I do have to admit that I do have to applaud him for his charisma and how he keeps managing to talk people into giving him ip's left and right.

I guess on a very small level I can relate to the poor bastard because sometimes when I build something (a desk for example) and the legs are all wobbly, random pieces of wood are split, and screws are sticking out to slice open anyone unfortunate to walk to close or actually use it, I get a small ounce of pride in saying "look i made this, it was a train wreck, but I made it."

The man is doing what he has a passion (or deep rooted hatred) for and he is standing up to critics and keeps chugging on. Unfortunately the only person who should see his movies are himself and really close friends and family.

strix

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

angry_gamer — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 11:51:22 MST

Is he really a failure though? Does anyone know how much money the guy actually has?

angry_gamer

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

ビッグボス — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 11:47:18 MST

You know, this news almost makes me believe in a higher, benevolent power.

Almost.

ビッグボス

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

Strangelove — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 11:40:32 MST

Somebody gave that film a $70 million budget? That's just amazing. First, based on the trailers, it looks like it was shot for the SciFi network using the cinematographer from the Street Fighter movie. Second, did anyone at that movie studio actually think it would make a profit? Really? Unbelievable.

Congratulations, you have made the world's first $70 million turd.

Strangelove

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

Nosignalinput — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 11:33:29 MST

@WiNGSPANTT: Unfortunately it's a God that prefers small budget video game adaptations.

Whether it's small or big budget the fact remains that this guy is still making terrible films. I don't think Uwe even cares about the money - if he gets even one viewer he'd probably take that as a sign to release a sequel!

Nosignalinput

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

daschupa — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 11:28:19 MST

Wow, so now we won't have to stand seeing his movies in the box office for a week before the exit, but his films will be even worse since they are on a much lower budget...wait, I'm adding this to the wikipedia entry for bittersweet.

daschupa

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

SchwarzerWind — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 11:23:28 MST

Oh my god! I almost went and saw this because it was based on Dungeon Siege ("seemed like a good idea at the time").

I didn't even notice it was a Uwe Boll film. Thank you Kotaku for saving me from a fate worse than death!

SchwarzerWind

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

Scooter — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 11:17:07 MST

Every time an angry German director retires from big-budget movies, a critic gets it's wings.

Scooter

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

Witzbold — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 11:15:02 MST

@Illiad: What were you talking about Burgertime was made into a movie.

"Supersize me" ;D

Witzbold

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

seafisch — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 11:13:03 MST

@futurebiblehero: A world without Burt Reynolds is one part of my utopia. What a talentless hack.

@badasscat: I don't. She's really hot, and at least a marginally talented actress. Once she beats her agent's face in for talking her into doing an Uwe Boll movie, her life should be roses.

seafisch

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

Fishstick — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 11:12:57 MST

Boll should attack the classics now. Something like Burgertime or Beer Tapper. Make them flashy, lots of motion blurs, bad acting and unnecessary CGI.

Fishstick

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

Antiterra — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 11:12:31 MST

I demand a Dr. Kawashima's Brain Training movie by Uwe Boll. Where the + sign, the letter G and the number 7 battle for world dominance while dragon-riding stick figures go in and out of houses. And then there would be some sort of God who would smite non-believers with pointy styluses falling from the sky.
And robot ninjas. Gotta have robot ninjas.

Antiterra

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

beem — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 11:08:33 MST

@mrantimatter:

He's not getting many scripts. A lot of the game-to-film licenses he's making now are from what he acquired years ago (before House of the Dead even hit theatres) that he kept on the backburner (like Far Cry). He's getting less & less scripts now that word has broke of how disasterful a director he is. The scripts he's getting nowadays are mainly sequels to the films in which he had already acquired the rights to.

I know a lot of us (including me) loved to take pot-shots at Vin Diesel when he was announced as producer & lead for the Hitman film (before he dropped the project). However, we owe him a bit of gratitude. Boll was just inches away from acquiring the film rights to Hitman from Eidos, had Diesel & Fox not stepped in & beat him to it. Despite however you took the film, it could have been a lot worse with Boll's grubby hands all over it.

beem

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

Improbable — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 10:59:50 MST

@Witzbold: IMDB only has a US release date for Postal at a film festival. When you check for box office numbers, they only have data for Austria and Germany.

Apparently it didn't get a real US release. It'll be on DVD in Germany next month, but they don't have a US DVD date.

Maybe we'll be lucky and won't even have a chance to see it.

Improbable

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

ZeroAnt — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 10:59:09 MST

Uwe Boll shoulders a heavy burden.
To produce ridiculously bad movies that no else is dumb enough, or sane enough to produce.
Name someone else who is capable of making movies so thoroughly bad as Uwe Boll?
Also he is convinced his movies are masterpieces (to the point that he wants to fight the people who write bad reviews of them).
Uwe Boll, truly a terribly great man.

ZeroAnt

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

Ginger Gouki — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 10:57:09 MST

Dyslexia is a crule misstres. For a second there, I misread it as "...I will focus on small films such as (the video game adaptation) 'Portal'..."

Portal, A Uwe Boll Film.

Thats the stuff of nightmares.

Ginger Gouki

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

WiNG — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 10:55:08 MST

There is a God.

WiNG

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

Waza — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 10:54:42 MST

he sucks

Waza

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

RoscoV3 — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 10:54:10 MST

Baring the fact that Uwe Boll is maybe the worst director of all time and I would rather watch "Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter" sober than anything he has directed. The studio execs somehow thought it was a great idea to keep feeding him money. Uwe must spin a great tapestry of words to convince them that the next movie he does will be a super ultra blockbuster. Oh, and to buy this shiny new Golden Gate Bridge. :)

RoscoV3

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

Hades — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 10:48:48 MST

Almost killed myself with the delay of SSBB, but now that victory vs Boll is almost won, I cant die yet :D
This is good news to all of us that love games in their true form and not in some crappy movie ¬.¬

Hades

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

Witzbold — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 10:47:49 MST

@Sloopydrew: Wasnt it already released?

Witzbold

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

Sloopydrew — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 10:45:22 MST

What ever happened to Postal?

@Saint Anima (PSN = PoeticMassacre):

Uwe's like an elephant -- he never forgets.

Sloopydrew

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

haracas — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 10:44:51 MST

How he even got into the big budget ring, i don't even know. Although, it was sad to see him go without making an adaptation of some bad game, like Kane and Lynch, or announcing he is developing a Duke Nukem Forever game, that way we won't have our hopes high at all.

haracas

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

LordMaim — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 10:40:18 MST

@Saint Anima (PSN = PoeticMassacre): *knocks on wood*

LordMaim

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

Saint Anima — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 10:26:34 MST

I hope he forgets about Legacy of Kain. I really, really do.

Saint Anima

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

Shermi — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 10:26:16 MST

Until he stops creating movies based on games he is giving all gamers a bad name.

Shermi

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

VicViper — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 10:25:00 MST

@Ryadic:

Boll is just an awful film maker period, it doesn't matter the content. You can only compare crap like Mario Bros and SF to his work because you haven't seen it.

Check out Alone in the Dark or BloodRayne 2. They make both of the films you mentioned look like Academy Award contenders.

Boll lacks not only the ability to pick a decent script, but to also direct and edit a competent film, on a scale that makes most made for youtube productions look professional.

He still has an arsenal of films ready, but if it's true his tax loop-hole is finally gone, he will eventually vanish.

Now all the retards who actually buy his stuff on DVD have to just STOP!

(Unless you're a small minority doing it for educational purposes, or torturing confessions out of terrorists.)

VicViper

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

Tale — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 10:24:45 MST

@Ryadic: I liked Mortal Kombat, the two Tomb Raider films, and Silent Hill.

This all ignoring non-hollywood films like Advent Children and Pokemon.

Tale

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

Kang — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 10:23:54 MST

Mortal Kombat ftw. About time this dude backed up a bit, he was making games look as though they had concepts on a similar level to rat feces.

Kang

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

Ryadic — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 10:17:39 MST

@SithNinja: It's not just Boll ruining game movies. Two off the top of my head: Mario Bros and Street Fighter. No matter who directs it, the movie will suck. I think the only decent one was the original Mortal Kombat.

Ryadic

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

homelessvagrant — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 10:16:20 MST

seems like jesus has performed his first miracle in over 2,000 years...

the apocalypse is nigh!

homelessvagrant

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

Witzbold — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 10:14:32 MST

@badasscat: Just her? What about the rest of humanity?

Witzbold

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

futurebiblehero — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 10:11:11 MST

I think we need to look at this from a different perspective. This is a movie with Burt Reynolds and none of you went to go see it? The problem isn't with Uwe. Uwe clearly knows what's going on. Ever stop to think that the problem may actually be with you guys, the viewers? There would've been no Cannonball Run II, no Smokey and the Bandit, Cop and a Half, no.. no, fucking Hooper if it weren't for that man. You should all be ashamed of yourselves.

Yeah, I didn't see it either.

futurebiblehero

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

sadkermit - soon to be banned for standing up to the ummm nazi. — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 10:10:28 MST

@CaptLtrl: I'm with you - our numbers are already growing!

p.s. - I'll bring the salt and lemon to rub in his eyes should he decide to be tough about it.

sadkermit - soon to be banned for standing up to the ummm nazi.

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

Irenicus-the one and only — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 10:05:21 MST

@mrantimatter: But doesn't the scripts suck anyway, and isn't dungeon siege dead, buried and forgotten by now?

One has to ask themselves why these games where the ones he made into movies. Much better and high profile games out there to make a movie on.

Irenicus-the one and only

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

Tue, 15 Jan 2008 09:59:29 MST

@mrantimatter: From what I've heard, he's very charismatic. That's the only explanation I've heard for why this guy is still employed, which doesn't really explain anything.

天

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

mrantimatter — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 09:56:21 MST

What I don't get is why they still give him scripts. If I was a game developer, and I heard he got my games adaptation, i'd raise hell and demand a better director. Hollywood knows the guy sucks, the people know he sucks, so why does he still have a job?

mrantimatter

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

Mr.SithNinja — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 09:54:41 MST

"These are the films that represent my true passion, and they can be done with small budgets"...
Translation:
'I can't run major production so I am lowering the bar so that maybe I will eventualy make a movie that will be somewhat close to profitable.'

Memo to Boll:

Quit ruining game movies and just go away. You suck....jackass.

Mr.SithNinja

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

ThisCharmingMan — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 09:54:23 MST

This man must be one hell of a good persuasive speaker. How he continually cons studios to back his films that always fail, is beyond me. There are real directors out there, with real talant, and they continually struggle to make the films that they want to make, and SHOULD be made.

ThisCharmingMan

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

badasscat — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 09:48:30 MST

I feel bad for Leelee Sobieski.

badasscat

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

Ballaboy311 — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 09:48:06 MST

@Oomingmak: That is exactly what I was thinking lol. That or old people that just don't have anything better to do.

Ballaboy311

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

CaptLtrl — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 09:46:56 MST

I won't be happy until this man is broken and crying in the streets. I know that sounds harsh, but, well ok it is harsh. Guess I'm just a bad person.

CaptLtrl

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

Witzbold — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 09:46:46 MST

@Lant: Why did you have to remind me. D: Now Im sad again.

Witzbold

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

Oomingmak — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 09:46:37 MST

@ballaboy311: I'm sure half of it was from unsuspecting people, who just wanted to see a movie with "that guy from the transporter" set in medieval times. The other half were people who who saw bloodrayne and are looking for something to laugh at.

Oomingmak

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

Irenicus-the one and only — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 09:44:30 MST

This is a dark day for us gamers :(

Irenicus-the one and only

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

NotAZombie — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 09:42:52 MST

What happens to Far Cry?

NotAZombie

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

Lant — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 09:42:47 MST

Dont forget he is still doing the farcry movie :(

Lant

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

skwish — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 09:40:54 MST

Heh Remember guys. I dont care how cheap it is dont buy the DVD, as long as his movies dont break into a profit he will be forever ban hammered out of theatrical release.

skwish

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

Ballaboy311 — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 09:40:25 MST

I am surprised that it did 3 million.

Ballaboy311

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

Gray665 — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 09:40:10 MST

@Winterbringer:

Except he hasn't failed. He's laughing all the way to the bank.

Gray665

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

Winterbringer — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 09:38:50 MST

hahaha, I love seeing this guy fail.

Winterbringer

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

MattGS — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 09:38:31 MST

@bluecell: Since Wal-Mart retreated from Germany, does this mean you want him? You can have him!

MattGS

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

Mommar — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 09:37:24 MST

@bluecell:

Most likely he'd just punch them in the face as they walked in.

Mommar

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

Violater — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 09:37:03 MST

Hey Alone in the Dark wasn't that bad actually....
ohh wait I'm confusing it with Darkness Falls...
carry on will the Boll Bashing

Violater

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

Miksho — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 09:36:46 MST

Alright, Mr. Fahey...you win. But beware: we Germans aren't all smiles and sunshine.

Miksho

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

Tonx — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 09:36:11 MST

Can't he make movies based on video game properties with no value? Like Daiktana or Duke Nukem? (wakka wakka)

Tonx

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

MattGS — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 09:35:47 MST

@Witzbold: More importantly - does this mean no raping of Legacy of Kain?

Yes, I am actually afraid of that.

MattGS

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

ComradeStalin — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 09:35:09 MST

@Witzbold: No, just that he finally almost came close to losing.

ComradeStalin

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

Bluecell — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 09:34:49 MST

Hopefully soon his true passion will be greeting people as they enter Wal-Mart

Bluecell

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

Hylian — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 09:33:50 MST

Oh no!!!!! Don't make movies about smaller games like Portal I beg you!

Hylian

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

eastx — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 09:32:58 MST

He's still going to be making movies of some sort though...

eastx

Boll Retreats From Big-Budget Films

Witzbold — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 09:30:58 MST

Does that mean we finally almost win?!

Witzbold