Why I'll Never Be A Transformers Toy DesignerS

Meet Travis. I made him myself.

I made him during this morning's Tranformers Construct-A-Bots breakfast at Comic-Con, a celebration of Hasbro bogarting the LEGO Hero Factory concept and applying it to the Autobots and Decepticons.

Why I'll Never Be A Transformers Toy DesignerS

The breakfast was a clever marketing idea. Attendees could construct their own pancake stacks, omelets and yogurt cups, and then they could head to the bins, where countless bits and bobs were strewn about, waiting for Primus to come and play "Jerry was a Race Car Driver" for them. Transformers continuity is hard.

Why I'll Never Be A Transformers Toy DesignerS

The idea was to build your own robot from the parts available, grant him or her a name, and then get photographed by someone for some reason. Some attendees took their creations very seriously. I was one of them.

Why I'll Never Be A Transformers Toy DesignerS

Travis, of course, is short for Travesty. He's a trasmaphrodite. He has swords with jet engines on them. Don't worry, the jet engines transform via mass displacement into cassette tapes so they don't get sheared off when Travis stabs people. You can't see his wings, but they are pretty horrible.

There were folks who worked on the line at the breakfast to answer questions, like "Why is Starscream's head only half-painted?" (Answer: China). They were all incredibly impressed with my creation.

I'm expecting then to call me with a job offer any minute now, or they would had I remembered to bring my business cards. That's why I'll never be a Transformers toy designer.