Like many of you, I’ve been making my way through The X-Files over the last several months in anticipation of the new six-episode revival later this month. And this week I came upon an episode in season 7 written by acclaimed author William Gibson, “First Person Shooter,” about a VR video game. It might be the best episode of the whole series.


The episode introduces a game called FPS that’s basically PvE lazer tag, but there’s a character inside, a “voluptious vixen” as Scully calls her, who somehow is able to cut off people’s heads despite having no physical presence. Also it’s got that part pictured above where Mulder is holding a sword in an Old West environment.

It’s brilliant, a work of genius. And I’m going to share my favorite parts with you right now. So here we go, the top five best lines in the X-Files video game episode.


At the beginning of the show three #truegamers are all hootin’ and hollerin’ and jumping around and saying things like “I’m a death machine” as they get ready to shoot digital enemies. I’m exactly like this when I’m booting up Destiny or Call of Duty.


You know, for kids


No one will ever forget what they were doing when they found out there’s no rez images on interior game spaces.


This incisive bit of social commentary hit me really hard.


This makes perfect sense to me.



Phil Owen is a freelance entertainment journalist, and author of WTF Is Wrong With Video Games? Follow him on Twitter at @philrowen.