There’s an Indiana Jones restaurant? There will be this fall at the Walt Disney World Resort. But don’t get your hopes up just yet. Actually, don’t get them up ever.

Your initial reaction was probably something like this, no?

[Photo: Indiana Jones Wikia]

[Photo: Indiana Jones Wikia]

No, no, no. Instead of an Indiana Jones restaurant based on The Raven, Marion’s bar in Nepal from Raiders of the Lost Ark, Disney is creating a restaurant based on an airplane hanger from none of the movies.

Let’s conclude that concerns over drunk person trying to light a Raven bar recreation on fire means we’re getting an airplane hanger instead.

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Opening at Disney Springs, the bar and restaurant will be called “Jock Lindsey’s Hangar Bar.” Via WDW News Today, here are excerpts from the official release:

The design team has gone to great lengths to ensure that every element – from the propeller-based ceiling fans and diving bell “booth” to the “Rolling Boulder Meatballs” on the menu – fits within the storyline.

And just what is that story? Ardent fans of the “Indiana Jones” films may recognize Jock Lindsey as Indy’s frequent pilot; he’s also the owner of a pet snake named Reggie – an important detail, trust me on this! In the main room, guests will discover an expansive bar, aviation decor filling the room, vintage travel posters covering the walls and correspondence between Jock, Indy and their fellow adventurers on display. Guests can eat, drink and be merry outside as well, in Jocks’ old steamboat, now in permanent dry dock and aptly named “Reggie;” and in nearby seating on the adjacent deck.

Jock Lindsey is only in The Raiders of the Lost Ark for a few minutes, which is fine. He’s just not exactly the character I’d think to name an Indiana Jones themed restaurant after, especially when most people probably don’t remember his name (as a kid, I always thought Harrison Ford was screaming “Jack” and not “Jock”). He certainly isn’t as memorable as his pet snake Reggie. (This restaurant, and not the dry dock, really should be called “Reggie’s.”)

More importantly, there are such better options. Like?

Well, the previously mentioned would be the most logical one. The Walt Disney World Resort is in Florida, you say! It’s not cold enough to evoke Nepal. Whatever. This is Disney. They have Imagineers. Top men and top women working on this!

[GIF via mabrowndog]

And yes, The Raven went up in smoke, but the scene is one of Raiders’ and cinema’s most famous. The Disney themed establishment is also a bar, but wouldn’t you rather do shots in a recreation of The Raven? That totally feels like Indiana Jones. An airplane hanger with propeller parts stacked about does not.

No, actually, the propellers remind me of this.

[GIF via 다크홈]

Besides the cutting up Nazis part, I guess Disney is trying to evoke the globetrotting nature of Dr. Jones’ profession. Case in point:

[GIF via Bryan Olari]

Though, it always seems like the guy is sleeping on planes, and in the movies, he doesn’t appear to have some deep love of aviation. If anything, you feel the opposite. Airplanes lull him to sleep.

[GIF via Giphy]

[GIF via PonAdidas]

Wouldn’t it be cooler to experience something you see in the movies, instead of a bar set up by a guy who is kind of a jerk to Indy in Raiders of the Lost Ark? I guess I’m kind of disappointed because Disney’s Indiana Jones attractions have been so damn good. The bar, pun intended, Disney set is very high.

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Maybe Disney could’ve based the restaurant on Pankot Palace from Temple of Doom and served all sorts of creative dishes that might look disgusting (or sound gross), but were made from, I dunno, cheese or something.

[GIF via Angra Miao]

Then again, maybe Disney was worried something like that would cause offense today? That people would think that this was actual Indian food (people, it’s not, don’t think that) and not a meal served by a palace run by an evil brain-washing cult?

[Photo: Indiana Jones Wikia]

Or Disney could’ve based it on Club Obi Wan from Temple of Doom, which would also make for a neat cross promotion with Star Wars. I know I’d rather eat Chinese food than, ahem, airport hanger food. But that’s just me!

Top photo: Silver Screen Serenade

To contact the author of this post, write to bashcraftATkotaku.com or find him on Twitter@Brian_Ashcraft.