Piss on everything. If that doesn’t work, there’s always plan number two.

From Surreal Distractions, markers of surreal distractions, comes a game about being a random dog-like creature with a nose for trouble and a bladder-full of justice. Or urine. It’s probably urine, though one of my dogs was peeing black liquid, which brings its urinicity into question. Yes, it’s a word. Shut up.

Here’s what the official description of the (currently) $2.00 Steam game looks like.

Become a random dog in a random house and survive the harsh domestic life! Explore the city and interact with the world for discover items and secrets. Play, eat, drink, and sleep, remember to take care of yourself or else you will die. Play frisbee, dig up bones, and shop at various retail stores. Stay in a good mood, level up and buy new toys! Play however you want, piss on everything, blow up cars and hydrants with explosive poop, earn money and try to fill your house up with toys and gadgets.

Warning: I die halfway through the video, but luckily there’s another digital dog. There’s always another digital dog.

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The First Five is the first five minutes of a game with light commentary. Once the five minutes are up, so are we.