Teleporting Is Terrifying And I Will Never Do It

Manly is a new cartoon from brothers Jesse and Justin Moynihan, who also do some work on Adventure Time. Among many other freaky things, it features a chilling reminder of why I will never, ever use a teleporter.

You really should watch it, though. Manly is a relentless, million-mile-per-hour hurdle through a gaping infinity of fuckweird—magical god planets, trans-dimensional fanny packs, and worlds straight off prog rock album covers are just the beginning—but there's a certain charm to it.

Jesse works on Adventure Time, and it shows in Manly's disarming calmness. There's a gentle normality to it all. People just being people, even in the screaming thousand-eyed face of madness.

Oh, and just so you know, Manly is actually about a girl.

"Manly is sent on a mission to save her brother and gain the approval of her father, who happens to be the emperor god of the universe (and kind of a jerk)."

Now then, re: the teleporter—things go even worse for Manly's brother, who ends up looking like this afterward.

Teleporting Is Terrifying And I Will Never Do It

Don't worry, though. He makes a full recover— oh... yikes.

Teleporting Is Terrifying And I Will Never Do It

Yeah, that one's getting a big ol' NOPE from me. Nope, nope, nope, nope.