Zero Punctuation Takes On You

Zero Punctuation: Chains of Olympus

What starts out as a pretty slow, actually not so funny take on God of War Chains of Olympus, turns to typical gold after Yahtzee seems to find his stride and knocks it out of the park again and again... as usual.

The Escapist

Zero Punctuation Beats On Smash Bros. Brawl

Zero Punctuation Reviews Condemned 2 (And Indigo Prophecy)

This week, Yahtzee officially reviews Condemned 2. And that's great. But then, in the heat of passion, he breaks into a mini-review of Indigo Prophecy. Plus, if you really think about it, there's actually a good amount of rhetoric on the original Condemned, too. So you are actually getting like 2 to 2 1/2 Zero Punctuations this week. And it's all coming at you for a low, low price of just $100 an episode. Oh, didn't you know? Then you're fucked, man. But at least you get some steak knives (for only $8.95 S/H).

Zero Punctuation: Condemned 2: Bloodshot [The Escpaist]

Zero Punctuation Relishes No More Heroes

While Yahtzee was a little bit late to squeeze into our No More Heroes Frankenreview, he still offers a pretty enjoyable review of the game, likening the experience to, among countless other colorful, non sequitur metaphors, Branston Pickle. Having never consumed Branston Pickle, I can only assume that this review is absolutely, utterly false in its conclusion. And as I don't plan on visiting Branston's home in England any time in the near future to try it (or even going to the shelf in any large chain store to buy it), I should live a life of blissful ignorance for some time.

Zero Punctuation: No More Heroes [The Escapist]

Zero Punctuation On Army Of Two

Zero Punctuation on Army of Two [the escapist]

Zero Punctuation On Zack & Wiki

I bought Zack & Wiki on day one, triumphantly presenting my wife with the game that would both explain some of my history as a gamer (PC adventure junkie) and placate her need for an interactive experience without headshots or corpse humping—all while providing us a worthwhile, couple-building challenge. She got about ten minutes into it before deciding to hate the game forever. Yahtzee likes Zack & Wiki a bit more than she did.

Zero Punctuation: Zack & Wiki [The Escapist]

Yahtzee Goes Jurassic On Turok

Spoiler alert! Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw doesn't like Turok. But instead of editorially ripping that game a new one, this episode of Zero Punctuation simply uses it as an example of everything that's wrong with console first person shooters. Not the least of which are Aliens-esque character rehashes, the "grizzled, sassy multi-ethnic military types often wearing—or at least located somewhere inside—suits of powered armor" otherwise known as Space Marines. It's a doozy, mostly because of Yahtzee waxing nostalgic about the "backwoods pig rapists" of Redneck Rampage. Give it a play.

Zero Punctuation: Turok [The Escapist]

Zero Punctuation Burning Out

Zero Punctuation: Burnout Paradise [The Escapist]

Zero Punctuation Takes On Uncharted: Drake's Fortune

This week, in between some scathing political commentary, Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw reviews Uncharted: Drake's Fortune for the PS3. Does he like it? Of course not. Can you imagine his reviews happy? We can only pray that divine intervention keeps both love and ecstasy from Yahtzee's grasp, lest we lose Zero Punctuation forever.

Quote of the week: "Saying that an action game's got a vehicle section these days carries about as much weight as saying that it comes in a box."

Zero Punctuation [TheEscapist]

Zero Punctuation's GDC Awards Special

Zero Punctuation Plus A Touching Love Story

Zero Punctuation [the escapist]

Zero Punctuation Previews Going To X-Play

Wow Yahtzee, you've done the impossible. You have a television program running previews of a freaking 3-minute review. Yeah, did you hear? X-Play will be running a snippet of your upcoming Zero Punctuations every Tuesday night. And including the clip's introduction, run time, and accompanying in-show bumpers, we wouldn't be surprised if this Tuesday teaser took just as long as your actual Wednesday review.

It's ludicrous media piggybacking, but we don't blame you...pending that you sleep on a big pile of greenbacks after a hard day's work.

Zero Punctuation On Call Of Duty 4

Zero Punctuation [The Escapist]

Zero Punctuation Takes on Resident Evil: Umbrella Chronicles

When Capcom released a rail shooter as their next installment to Resident Evil, it was almost asking for a once over by Zero Punctuation's Ben Croshaw. All in all he's pretty fair to the game and the concept, though thank goodness for black boxes covering cartoon privates.

Favorite line (abridged): "Do you remember what those villains from Captain Planet were like, how they'd steal an oil tanker and deliberately crash smack into a beach just to teach the sea lions a lesson in complacency ...well that's basically the Umbrella Corporation."

Zero Punctuation: Resident Evil: Umbrella Chronicles [theescapist]

The Secrets of Zero Punctuation Revealed!

Zero Punctuation Experiments with Machinima... Badly

While I love Croshaw's latest review, this one of The Witcher, I wasn't so delighted with the bit of comedy machinima slapped on to the end. It was, I hope, just an experiment and one we won't see more of anytime soon. Fortunately The Review of The Witcher has a wonderful punchline and mentions washing gimps, so I'll forgive him his indulgence.

Zero Punctuation: The Witcher [The Escapist Magazine]

Zero Punctuation Invades GDC Awards

Zero Punctuation, everyone's favorite video game rant reviewer, will be making a guest appearance at this year's Game Developer Choice Awards during the GDC next month.

Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw is producing three new Zero Punctuation shorts to be played during the ceremony to present his personal awards for video game achievements last year. Hopefully, they won't lose any of their bite just because they're being made specifically for a group of developers. I suspect they may, in fact, be even more sharp-tongue and witted.

The three videos will pop up on The Escapist online magazine shortly after being shown during the ceremony.