The Jinsei Bank ("Life" Bank), Ikemen Bank ("Cool Guy" Bank) and BANKQUEST. The neat thing about doing the piece is that I actually "played" through all the banks. Had to get a huge stack of bills changed — "Jinsei Bank" can hold about a thousand bucks!

Be sure to click through the gallery to get the blow-by-blow gameplay account.

This Little Piggy Bank Became a Videogame [Wired]

It's one thing to adjust to life in Star City—but quite another to endure the confounding, confining, and sometimes just plain goofy training regimen. The first challenge is the language. Garriott is an autodidact wunderkind who persuaded his high school teachers that learning Basic code counted as fulfilling his foreign-language requirement. He won't be as fortunate at Star City. All of the instructions, instrumentation, and communications in space will be in Russian. So, for four hours a day, Garriott and Halik slave over fat, dusty language books in class, then tote them back to the Prophy to study more at night.

Great stuff. Click below to check out the full piece.

Going to Space? [Wired]

When asked about maintaining quality control at Nintendo, Miyamoto says the key is in avoiding Sega-style design. He tells Wired, "I'm always instructing my game designers on the history of the characters and worlds we've created. Often we're in development and I'll say, 'Oh, this looks like a Sega game. We need to make it look more like Mario.'" Ouch.

In Miyamoto's defense, he may have been talking about Sega's last decade or so of existence. And that's totally fair.

15th Anniversary: Revenge of the Wii [Wired via NeoGAF]

The three titles are called Rapid Onset, Sudden Thrust and Vital Passage, which is a Freudian trilogy if I've ever heard one. Seriously, the DIA's Bruce Bennet told Wired that the games are more effective than daylong powerpoint torture sessions at getting training and a message across. And I can dig that.

DIA aren't the only ones using video games to train analysts. The Army has a game training interrogators that is entitled "Intelligence and Electronic Warfare Tactical Proficiency Trainer Human Intelligence Control Cell," which is based on Far Cry's architecture.

Fascinating and enjoyable read, of course. And, ulterior motive, I know someone who also might kinda sorta do spooky intelligence shit and that person's monitored my Interwebs traffic before, so I'm wondering how soon after I post this that I'll get an email from ... oh Holy Jesus that was fast.

US Spies Use Custom Video Games to Learn How to Think [Wired]

Don't Be Overly Ambitious "We thought it wouldn't be too hard to design a realistic War of the Roses-era economy, complete with swords, armaments, horses, food, and clothing. You want to create a suit of armor? First you have to smelt brass to make the bolts and gather fibers to make string ... We soon learned why most designers don't do that level of realism."

Go Low Tech
"If you can't find a professional game studio to partner with, start small. There are lots of simple development platforms to experiment with. Look at Tribal Wars — it's an HTML-driven online game with hundreds of thousands of users. It can be played in a browser window."

Think About Your Audience
"We put Arden in front of Shakespeare experts and they loved it. We put it in front of play testers and they yawned. We'd get feedback like, 'I talked to that Falstaff guy for a while and got a quest to go repair something. I logged out and never came back.' Too much reading, not enough fighting. Arden II will be more of a hack-and-slash Dungeons and Dragons type of game."

Get a Full-Time Staff
"I love my students, but they just don't have the schedule to do this. I have a very able lead designer and an excellent lead artist, but they had to pause for midterms. You need a core group of 60-hour-a-week people."

Concede Screwups
"You face a moment where you can admit something isn't working or you can lie about it. It's like in Shakespeare's plays: The tragic heroes keep making new mistakes that compound their original mistakes. The comic heroes muddle around and find themselves in ridiculous circumstances, but in the end they accept their own humanity, and the audience respects them for it."

I hang out with other gamers all the time, but it's mostly in multiplayer online play, using headsets. It's social, sure. But as any psychologist will tell you, hanging out in real life allows for even richer styles of communication to emerge. In face-to-face mode, we're better at picking up the little nuances — frustration, glee, sarcasm, subvocalized ranting, body language — that build team cohesion, and allow us to game with a positively Vulcan level of mind meld.

All completely true. The most fun I've had gaming over the past few years have been on those rare occasions that I have someone else playing with or against me at my side. Hearing a voice on the headset is one thing. Being able to turn to your side and punch someone in the arm when they screw up is another thing entirely.

Gaming with your friends is something that should be encouraged more. Oddly enough, this is one area where the PC gamers - connected to the internet years before consoles - excel. Look at LAN parties. Everyone lugs a computer out to a centralized location, complete with monitors, mice, keyboards, power supplies, etc., just for a chance to see the look on their opponent's face when they shoot it off. We need console game gettogethers, where a few folks bring their televisions, consoles, and controllers and people just chill and play together.

Mind you, if I ever seriously refer to such get togethers as play dates you have my full permission to punch me in the neck.

Frag With a Friend for Ultimate Fun [Wired]

Mad Catz just announced they signed a multi-year deal with Harmonix and MTV to start cranking out peripherals and "other products" for Rock Band worldwide.

The company has the rights to manufacture, market and sell game accessories including wired and wireless bass guitars, drum percussions sets and a wired microphone. They expect their first controllers to hit by the first half of the year.

"This agreement with MTV Games represents a natural opportunity for Mad Catz to combine our core competencies of producing and distributing high-quality accessories with the entertaining experience of Rock Band's interactive controllers," said Darren Richardson, President and Chief Executive Officer of Mad Catz. "Mad Catz will produce premium instruments, allowing gamers and music fans to experience music in an entirely new light while taking on the personality of their favorite music idols."

"The addition of the Rock Band license is consistent with Mad Catz' stated goal to align ourselves with the most attractive brands and highly-anticipated software releases while seeking additional accessory opportunities to further diversify and grow our revenue base. With the ability to appeal to both hardcore and casual gamers alike, Rock Band is one of the most highly acclaimed releases of the 2007 holiday season and beyond."

I have very mixed feelings right now, VERY MIXED.

• Former Microsoft exec Peter Moore on Red Rings of Death:
"You know, things break."

• Nintendo president Satoru Iwata in May 2004:
"Customers do not want online games."

• SCEA boss Jack Tretton on post-launch PS3 availability:
"If you can find a PS3 anywhere in North America that's been on store shelves for more than five minutes, I'll give you 1,200 bucks for it."

• Nintendo's Perrin Kaplan on Wii owners running out of memory space:
"But if your refrigerator's full, you've got to pull something out and put something else back in. I mean, really, are you using everything thing there?"

• PlayStation Father Ken Kutaragi on the PS3's intial price tag:
"It's probably too cheap... We want consumers to think to themselves, 'I will work more hours to buy one.'"

Hey, at least most game execs are not boring!
Crazy Executive Quote Award [Game|Life] [Image]

It doesn't matter whether you've seen the Japanese reality show on which Game Center CX: Arino's Challenge is based. This new Nintendo DS game will deliver a dose of humorous and all-too-true retro game nostalgia to anyone who remembers the 80's.

Hey, remember the 80's? Remember poring over game magazines for cheat codes to help you get past the impossible sections of the short, difficult NES games of the era? Remember sitting around with your friends on lazy summer days trying to be the first one to get past that tricky part? So do the people who designed Game Center CX, an homage to 1985's game culture.

I don't throw a fit and smash my controller... Since the staff cheers me on, I hate it when I mess up. Like when I die, I can sense the mood in the room change, and I feel awful... When I get home, I just kinda sit there, zone out and wonder why I couldn't beat that game.

Wii. A motion-sensing controller, simple games, and a low price make this the top 7th-genner.

Xbox 360. Brilliantly conceived online-community features give this box sizzle.

PS3. Stellar specs can't make up for the high price and late release — a missed opportunity.

One time in high school, someone broke into my locker and stole my stuff, so I had to wear gym clothes for the rest of the day. I developed humor as a defense mechanism. Now I drive a fucking Mercedes.

Wired:...you want people to accept that this is what you're doing with this movie, that you're going to take taboo subjects and satirize them, but when I sort of take a subject like your movie and end up making a satirical or a funny article about that, I don't have the right to do that? Only you have the right...

UB: No, you have the right to do that, absolutely, but your article was not funny. Your article was only an ongoing insult against the untalented, bad director...You should admire that nobody else did what I did in the last ten years. Nobody else on the whole planet, not one filmmaker out of Germany was able to raise money. All the German money went to the Hollywood studios, I was the only guy doing it.

Maybe reviewers should be approaching Boll differently, like by asking why the one guy in Germany getting money to make movies is doing such a lousy job.

Uwe Boll Interview: 'I'm Not The New Ed Wood', 'You're Not A Good Journalist' [gamelife]

Uwe Boll, it seems was not as taken with Wired's Chris Kohler's take on Postal as we were. In fact the German-born director emailed Chris to, among other things, suggest he go have sex with his own mother.

chris your review shows me only that you dont understand anything about movies and that you are a untalented wanna bee filmmaker with no balls and no understanding what POSTAL is. you dont see courage because you are nothing. and no go to your mum and fuck her ...because she cooks for you now since 30 years ..so she deserves it. people like you are the reason that independent movies have no chance anymore. uwe boll PS: POSTAL is R RATED . The MPAA understood the satire — you not — you dumb fuck

The back and forth that stems from this first email is a bit funny, though taking Uwe on in a battle of wits is sorta like Uwe taking his detractors on in a boxing match.

I actually interviewed Boll back in 2006 and was impressed with his charm, something that likely speaks more to his ability to get financing and land actors than actually pull together a watchable movie. Boll is not the game-hating troll people think he is, but he also isn't the film-maker he thinks he is and all around, that's kinda sad.

'You Dumb F*ck': Uwe Boll Responds To Our Postal Review [Update 2] [Game Life]

Every time you fire up a new title, you've got to learn how to look around, run, and fire an Uzi all over again... Each game world is like a foreign country, full of unfamiliar sights and sounds and seemingly arbitrary rules. How do gamers survive in these strange lands? Clichés. Loads and loads of clichés.

Flipping through the latest issue of Wired Magazine, the Martha Stewart edition, I noticed that E3 made the Wired-Expired list... but not in a good way.

The info box lists E3 as Expired, Comicon as Tired and PAX as Wired. Wired has spoken: E3 is dead, long live PAX... not really, but it has to be a bit disheartening for the ESA to see Wired putting a bullet in the head of their baby.

Chronicle Books sent along a copy of Japan Schoolgirl Inferno for me to peruse. Really enjoyed the book and do recommend picking it up. Besides covering gaming, I'm been writing about Japanese schoolgirls for something like the past three years for Wired Mag, contributing to its "Japanese Schoolgirl Watch." Anyone who's lived in Japan for an extended period of time will tell you that the styles, tastes and even make-up of teenage girls are always changing. A few years back, girls started wearing Pooh Bear, Hamtaro, and Pikachu costumes in public. Called "Kigurumin" ("ethnic mascot" in Japanese), the trend died out by 2004 when gals realized there were better things to wear than Pikachu costumes. Thank gawd! Brian Ashcraft

I've got a shorty in the June issue of Wired mag on the recent spate of girl's games like My Happy Manner Book, DS Therapy, Female Power Emergency Up! and Yoga Anywhere. I spent some time playing those games, which reminded me of brain games. They are geared towards females, but didn't seem to pander anymore than Japanese female magazines do. Wired's Chris Kohler also has a look at the phenomenon that's definitely worth a read and has this from Elite Beat Agents designer Keiichi Yano:

When we come up with new project ideas, we take into consideration what the female gamer community is interested in and what DS games are selling for female users.

In a nutshell: Japanese devs are female-casual-gamer attack mode. How much longer till Western companies follow suit? Brian Ashcraft

Gamer Girls Take Over Japan [Wired]

Continuing his photo odyssey of Japan, Wired's Chris Kohler stumbled upon a saucy version of Bandai's PS2 series .hack. Let's see... A naughty knock off of .hack using some of the letters in the game's title. The options are endless! We've got: .jack, .rack or even .lick. But, you know, those are a little too vague and don't leap out at non-English speakers. We need something to more blunt. Yup, we need ".fuck."

Pic shamefully hidden after the jump. Brian Ashcraft

.hack Hacked [Game|Life]

Housed in a locked case, this used Nintendo DS was spotted at retailer Tsutaya in Shibuya by Wired's Chris Kohler, who's busying himself by taking pictures. Of everything! The little sign reads:

• No box
• No instruction manual
• No stylus
• No strap
• No AC adapter
• Scratches on case
• Scratches on screen

Plus, it's an original DS. And how does this down-and-out DS cost? The above portable lists at ¥10,000. Wowzers, that's US $83! Brian Ashcraft

A while back, Wired mag's Editor-in-Chief, The Long Tail author and LEGO lover Chris Anderson got sauced on wine with Bungie's in-house composer Marty O'Donnell, who promised the editor a Halo 3 voice cameo. And yesterday, it happened. Anderson saw a big chunk of the game, but is NDA'd so isn't able to dish. He blogs:

Marty had me record about 30 lines, mostly playing a marine (that's me in the recording studio, above). I got to utter timeless phrases such as "Brutes can't smell through rock, can they?" and "Wonder if anyone knows we're down here..." They said I warmed up nicely, but I think they were just being polite. They were trying hard not to crack up as I screamed like a girl when I was being "possessed by the Flood".

Anderson did scan his script over on his Long Tail site. It doesn't reveal much, but is kinda interesting. And below? That's a vid he took of O'Donnell talking about the game's piano score. Brian Ashcraft

Halo 3 Vox Acting [The Long Tail]

Witnessing the arcade port of Dragon's Lair, which required multiple floppy disk swapping and loads of patience, was nearly enough to send my young mind reeling. But the Amiga was more than just a mid-eighties graphics showcase, it had some genuinely totally awesome games.

Wired's retrospective, edited by GameSetWatch overlord Simon Carless, highlights ten classic Amiga titles that made pre-Windows gaming memorable and, more importantly, innovative. From Lemmings to Speedball 2, the list of Commodore-era classics might be considered an old school education.

It's a good read, one that will make you want to find a copy of Defender of the Crown. Michael McWhertor

Top 10 Most Influential Amiga Games [Wired]

David Kushner has a big feature in Wired mag on the rise and fall of Rockstar and GTA. It's a story that most of us are very familiar with, but does include juicy bits like:

As all this played out at Take-Two, the Rockstars continued their rise. Dan Houser assumed the creative reins, writing game dialog and directing star-studded voice-over sessions. Sam Houser, president and executive producer, played the charismatic visionary. He hung a poster in his office of Don Simpson, the infamous playboy producer of films like Flashdance and Top Gun...

Rockstar Games moved to an even bigger loft down Broadway. The company gobbled up more game development houses to complement its satellite studios in Vienna, San Diego, and Vancouver. Many execs bought fancy cars and homes. But as one former employee puts it, "The money turned them into jackasses very quickly."

The Housers became increasingly demanding. Gillian Telling, a former assistant to Dan, remembers being commanded to clean snow out of his home satellite dish. When she failed to bring in the right kind of bagel, she says he called her a "useless whore" and a "cunt." Former employees say they routinely heard yelled insults and slammed telephones. "These people are insanely smart and really good at being mean," says one. "They're British."

Delicious. Brian Ashcraft

The Road to Ruin [Wired Magazine]

This holiday season, it wasn't the PS3, the Xbox 360 or the Wii that came out on top. Oh no, it was the six-year-old PS2, which moved 1.4 million consoles. Wired's Chris Baker has a piece up over at Slate detailing why the PS2 still is numero uno. Quoting the article:

Luckily for Sony, their old console is so popular—more than 100 million have been sold worldwide—that they can offset some of the money they're hemorrhaging with the PS3. By continuing to manufacture and support the PS2, Sony is keeping its old customers happy and offering a cheaper alternative for people who can't afford a next-generation machine. Sony did the same thing last time around and managed to sell more than 20 million of the original PS1 consoles between 2000 and 2004—after the appearance of the PlayStation 2.

This March, God of War 2 will hit the PS2 and looks to be a big time hit. The game's director, Cory Barlog, tells Baker: "At this point, we know the hardware intimately, we know all the tricks." Elsewhere, Nintendo and Xbox cut life support for its last gen owners. Sure, charging ridiculous prices for new machines isn't smart. But is killing off your old console? Brian Ashcraft

PS2, Still Winner [Slate]

According to Kohler, an impending stock deal could prevent Nintendo executives and developers from talking about new product or even upcoming product at their multiple keynotes and interviews. That would, in a word, suck for fans hoping to hear about exciting new Nintendo developments, turning GDC into a somewhat stalled event for Nintendo.

Regardless, we'll be there, bugging Miyamoto and Aonuma to the extent the law allows. Michael McWhertor

Nintendo: No New Information at GDC [Game|Life]

Nintendo's Chris Kohler, err Wired's Chris Kohler, is an idea guy. Just listen to this zinger:

My latest big idea that I think Nintendo should consider is this: at some point, they should start throwing away cash into projects that might probably fail.

No, stay with me on this one.

At this point, Nintendo has proven that their strategy is viable. They're expanding the market. DS did incredibly well in the US this holiday season. Wii is working on the same thing. They had to work very hard for a long time to get all that going.

What they need to work on now is to further expand the types of software available for DS outside of Japan. Because you know what? It's not looking like anyone else is going to do it for them. Nintendo released Brain Age and Nintendogs, and sold millions of them, and proved that crazy new ideas can reach new players.

And how did Western publishers react? Why, by releasing brain-training games and pet sims. Kind of missing the point, there, guys.

M'kay. Kohler goes on to say that quirky Japan-only titles like DS Therapy and Magic Taizen should get US releases. Sure that would be nice, but not all of these titles are first party so it wouldn't just be Nintendo losing money. My take: Lots of these non-games hitting the DS do reasonable business in Japan due to the current DS fad here. Not sure if that will translate to the US market. It could be a build-it-and-they-will-come thingy or something else entirely. Anyone out there think Kohler's plan holds water? Hit us up in the comments section. Brian Ashcraft

Hey Nintendo, Lose Money! [Game|Life via Infendo]

Former Kotaku writer Lore Sjöberg, current Wired Digital writer, has a look at the Nintendo Wii, stating:

Well, I finally managed to buy a Nintendo Wii (or, as I prefer to call it, the Murder Appliance).

Sorry, I know that's not very catchy. It's hard to come up with a properly macabre pun on 'Wii.' 'The Grim Wii-per' maybe? No, let's stick with Murder Appliance.

It takes only a few minutes with this gruesome plastic box of death to realize exactly how insidious it is. Every aspect of it is designed with one thing in mind: transforming innocent, wide-eyed, polite young people into slavering psychopaths.

Insane fanboys, relax. Lore's only kidding. He comments on the Wii-mote ("Is there any remaining doubt that it was designed expressly as a weapon?"), the controller attachment ("It's called a nunchuk, the weapon of choice for antisocial youth with a collection of Bruce Lee movies and an inflated sense of their own dexterity. Enough said.") and Wii Sports ("...clearly designed to train people for the task of reducing other human beings to pink pulp.") Clever stuff. Brian Ashcraft

Wii Is A Death Box [Wired]

Wired's Game|Life is on the prowl, looking for an East Coast writer. The site's Chris Kohler blogs:

Let me put this delicately: we are looking for a writer who lives in the beautiful Eastern time zone who can write news stories in the morning while your site lead — that's me — is still asleep after a marathon Wii session.

Send three sample blog posts and an introductory paragraph to gamelifejobs@gmail.com. My advice: Look for non-Nintendo stuff. Kohler's got that soooo covered. Good luck! Brian Ashcraft

Write For Wired [Game|Life]

Not exactly game related (but def. otaku), there's a Wired Mag piece on Train Man I did for the January issue. We've referenced Train Man a handful of times here on Kotaku. The book became nothing short of a national phenomenon in Japan back when it was originally released. It follows a clueless geek who crosses paths with a beautiful woman. He turns to an online bulletin board for advice. Know that Wired's wanted to do something on Train Man for a while, and it's good to see the article finding its way into print! Brian Ashcraft

Train Man Post [Wired]

I am one more Duke Nukem Forever away from putting a bullet in Wired's annual Vaporware awards.

The never finished game has made the list six times and frankly I don't think it deserves to be considered in development. We get the point already, the game is vaporware, get on with it and use the slot it takes up (number one on the list this time around) for something that everyone doesn't already know about.

The rest of the games included on the list seem a bit shaky too. You've got Stalker: Shadow of Chernobyl, a nuclear first-person shooter first previewed in 2001, last updated to hit next year. Then there's the always Gran Turismo 4 Mobile, a portable version of a game that is perpetually delayed and Spore... not really sure why this is here. While the game has been pushed back once, it's not big enough of a push to be considered vaporware, that and EA's been promoting the hell out of it.

What games do you think should have made the list? Brian Crecente

Vaporware 06: Return of the King [Wired]

The early nominees for Wired.Com's sexy geek list didn't include Jade Raymond and it bothered me to distraction. Fortunately, the final list of ten has her smack dab in the middle.

Sure she may not have demoted Pluto to a dwarf, have a degree in applied physics from Stanford or is helping push forward the first human clinical trials involving embryonic stem cells in the U.S., but look at that smile.

Jade Raymond is gorgeous, no doubt, and it's no surprise that like several other attractive women, she's a co-host on G4. But Raymond carries serious geek cred as a game programmer who this year produced Assasin's Creed for the PS3, which incorporates awesomely realistic crowd gameplay.

Congrats Jade, here's to you making it in the top five. Brian Crecente

Vote for Your Favorite Sexy Geek [Wired]

This came as quite a shock to pretty much every console role-playing game fan and nearly every console fanboy who aligns himself or herself with a single company. Following a Nintendo Inside story that Square-Enix would announce a new DQ title yesterday, speculation ran wild, with Xbox fans praying for Eastern salvation via another RPG exclusive. Nintendo fans followed suit, hoping that DS-like success would transfer to the Wii, netting the company a proper Dragon Quest game, not a Wii-mote slashing spin-off. The PlayStation crowd sat smugly, waiting for the impending PlayStation 3 announcement.

Then Squenix carpet bombed the brains of Dragon Quest fans and message board trolls with the facts: Dragon Quest IX. Nintendo DS. Network play. End of 2007. Total brain annihilation.

So why did the company go in that direction? And what does it mean to the success of the PlayStation 3 in Japan and the future of Dragon Quest? Nintendo's... damnit, I keep doing that... Wired's Chris Kohler takes an insightful look at the impact of this RPG megaton announcement and how it benefits Square-Enix. It's a good read, so read it. Michael McWhertor

Dragon Quest on DS: What It Means [Wired]

During intermission, [Something Awful's] Kyanka does an interview with streaming site Wavelit.com. He's trying to be self-deprecating — he knows the matches will live forever on YouTube — but is too furious to laugh it all off. 'He said he wouldn't hit me really hard!' Lowtax fumes, rubbing his head. 'I hate him as a human being! This event is a combination of PR and BS!'

Meanwhile, [Ain't It Cool News'] Sneider is taking advantage of the country's socialized health care. As two EMS workers tend to him, he occasionally removes his oxygen mask to vomit. As the intermission ends, the director emerges from the dressing room, looking serene. Kyanka points to Sneider's sickly puddle. 'Look what you did!' he snaps. Boll glances back, bemused. 'It was boxing,' he deadpans. 'Not chess.'

Zing! Man, if Uwe could make movies like he beats up internet geeks, he'd be Steven Spielberg. Instead he'll have to be content with being Uwe Boll: Director of horrible films, chowderhead supreme. Brian Ashcraft

Raging Boll [Wired]

Such as:

Do you have a response for people experiencing backwards compatibility issues and/or television upscaling problems?

I would like my car to fly and make me breakfast, but that's an unrealistic expectation. We've reported problems on only 200 of the 8000 PlayStation 1 and 2 games. I would challenge the average consumer to say that there are significant problems with any of the games in their library.

Okay, Jack. We get it. It's a small number, but you don't have to be a jerk about it. Omelette making hovercars are long overdue, true, but come on. I know that your spokespeople said well over a year ago that we shouldn't expect 100% compatability, but be nice. We're risking life and limb, dropping up to 600 bones on this thing! Michael McWhertor

SCEA VP on Backwards Compatibility: "I Would Like My Car To Fly and Make Me Breakfast" [Wired]

With the meh Wii reviews floating around the intertubes, it's nice to see someone actually likes the machine. Wired Mag's finnicky editors have taken a buncha products, rolled around with 'em and picked their favs. For consoles, the Wii snags the "Best of Test" title. Take heart insane Nintendo fanboys, 'cause not everyone is shitting on the Wii. Not yet at least. Brian Ashcraft

The Wii Is The Best, Says Wired [Go Nintendo]

Earlier, we reported that stores like EB and Gamespot were likely to use credit card deposits to ensure no punk ass kid wandered off with the Wiimote. Now, Nintendo's weighing in on how it'll be handled.

"Retailers will either receive a pre-built, self-contained interactive [kiosk], including a TV, game console and controllers, while others will receive the game console and controllers and will set up an interactive Wii experience using their own TV," said Harrison.

Echoing previous statements by Nintendo of Australia spokesman Vispi Bhopti, Harrison said that retail staff members would be at the demo units ostensibly to help consumers "have a successful first experience with Wii." Whether or not Wii's purportedly intuitive controls need explaining, staff members will likely serve as deterrents in attempted thefts of the Wii Remote.

I honestly don't understand why Nintendo doesn't wire the Wiimotes for the stores. It's possible: in Leipzig, I played with a Wii that had Wired controllers. This all seems like a needless hassle for a problem solved quite elegantly.

Other solution: slap one of those anti-theft stickers on the back of a Wiimote. Florian Eckhardt

Wii Kiosks to be Wireless, Supervised [The Wiire]

In conjunction with its informative and interesting Second Life travel guide, Wired Mag has set up shop in SL. Even if you're not into the game, the article is definitely worth a read.

From this month's issue:

We're proud to announce the launch of the Second Life Wired Offices. Whether you're man or machine, furry or vampire, we want you to make yourself at home. Welcome!

The publication actually commissioned virtual architects Millions of Us for the SL Wired offices. For those keen in checking it out, swing by this Saturday from 4-7 PST for the in-game office opening, complete with live musical performances and, most likely, James Wagner Au trying to have sex. Brian Ashcraft

Wired Hit SL [Wired]

I laid into the kid with a flurry of punches, including a punishing uppercut I'd been taught by an alcoholic Vietnam vet. Wham, wham, wham: Pretty soon I'd pummeled my opponent into the ground. And for my brutal finishing move?

I leaned over and gave him a hand up. I lectured him about the importance of not bullying defenseless kids, and he apologized, promising that he wouldn't be such a meanie any more.

So starts a slightly spoiler-ridden, but very good article about the truth of Bully (Canis Canem Edit if you're nasty), Rockstar's latest progeny. The thrust of the piece is clear: by reacting solely to the title of the game, all those protesters and Jackasses were only setting themselves up for embarrassment. In Bully, you are not the bully. You're morally sound. You get in trouble for hitting girls.

So what does this say about Rockstar? I posit that this was some serious ninja shit by the R* boys, and that they knew exactly what they were doing with this title, and the near complete dearth of actual marketing. I think they knew that all they had to do was whisper the sweet B word into the ether, and it would eventually reach the right ears: ears attached to empty heads and load mouths. And I'm not talking about bloggers, shockingly.

Rockstar has struck a huge blow for the cause. They gave the enemy a shovel and just watched them dig. When the game comes out it will be important to keep covering it, rubbing it in that the Jackasses were wrong.

We have an opportunity here to take some serious territory. Don't let me down. Eliza Gauger

Bully for You [Wired]

I know we've shown this real-world meets fantasy kung-fu game before, but it just keeps getting better. This latest video was taken by our own Richard Blakeley during Wired's Nextfest in New York City. Good thing that guy wasn't fighting someone for real, he would have snapped his wrist in half on the first punch.