Only the fact that Crecente might actually be reading this post keeps me from just writing "Why?" 200 times and calling it a day. For 1200 Microsoft points on January 19th you can download Majesco's 2003 run and gun shooter, which scored around a 50 average on GameRankings. If that's a bit too pricey, you could always buy the original game for the Xbox on Amazon for $1.50 used. Or you could just not buy it at all, which is probably your safest bet.

At this point I am convinced the Xbox Originals selection process features a hat and a blindfolded child.

BlowOut Coming to Xbox Originals [Gamerscore Blog]

The real question here is “Why the hell are so many people wasting their entire day playing games on a social networking site?” How is anything getting done, anywhere?

Scrabulous is Back! Its New Name is Wordscraper [Mashable via CNET]

WII-KLY UPDATE: THREE NEW CLASSIC GAMES ADDED TO WII SHOP CHANNEL

Dec. 3, 2007

Sometimes the Wii-kly Updates have a nice, unifying them. Sometimes they don't. This week we scoured the recesses of the classic games vault to come up with some interesting, if unrelated, gems. You can fight mechanized forces, battle with a bunch of fighters in the afterlife or play the role of a heroic regal bug. Like we said: Sometimes they don't.

Three new classic games go live at 9 a.m. Pacific time. Nintendo adds new games to the Wii� Shop Channel every Monday. Wii� owners with a high-speed Internet connection can redeem Wii Points� to download the games. Wii Points can be purchased in the Wii Shop Channel or at retail outlets. This week's new games are:

ZANAC (NES�, 1 player, rated E for Everyone - Mild Fantasy Violence, 500 Wii Points): ZANAC is a vertically scrolling shoot-'em-up game that was released in November 1986. Take control of the state-of-the-art fighter, ZANAC, with the objective of destroying the bases of the mechanized enemy forces. Use your full array of regular weapons as well as eight special weapons to clear the 12 intense areas of the game. Be careful, though, as the game changes the degree of difficulty in real time based on how well you play. This ensures that it feels like you're experiencing a new game every time you play.

Eternal Champions� (Sega Genesis, 1-2 players, rated T for Teen - Animated Blood, Animated Violence, 800 Wii Points): This 2-D fighting game introduces a cast of different characters that met untimely deaths in their lives on Earth. Now they have been given a chance to compete against each other, with the winner taking on the Eternal Champion, the ultimate fighter in the universe. The reward for defeating the Eternal Champion is a return to Earth for the opportunity to avenge death and restore balance to the universe. Choose from nine unique characters with a variety of fighting styles, and bring your best moves to defeat all comers in your quest to topple the Eternal Champion.

The Dynastic Hero (TurboGrafx16 CD-ROM, 1 player, rated E for Everyone - Comic Mischief, 800 Wii Points): The Dynastic Hero is an action RPG featuring a cast of insect characters. The story begins with the invasion of their peaceful homeland of Tarron by the evil Drilkor Empire. Rushing to the insects' aid is Dyna, the prince of Beetras. Take control of Dyna as he battles through action-filled stages. Equip weapons and items to vanquish the relentless foes, and acquire special items that enable you to brave the journey across the perilous desert or open sea. But it's not just all action. Correctly answer multiple-choice quizzes, and play the ocarina to find the right melody to open doors. Plus, there are countless traps and other puzzles packed into this fun game to keep you entertained and ensure you continue coming back for more.

For more information about Wii, please visit wii.com.

The Nintendo Wii sure is small — light, too! Wouldn't it be great if the Wii was portable? No, of course not. Don't tell Japanese peripheral-maker Century, who's just rolled out a portable 7-inch LCD screen. Designed for the Wii, it even contains an infrared sensor bar, so you can lug this thing around. Yay for lugging! It books at ¥14,800 (US $119), which Gizmodo's Jason Chen claims isn't too bad for a 7-inch LCD. Still, the entire contraption baffles me: am I supposed to squint while backing up for full-range Wii Tennis swinging or huddle close to the screen and flick my wrist? Brian Ashcraft

Wii Portable [Gizmodo]

Another year brings more Uwe Boll cinematic shitty. The chowderheaded filmmaker talks about his upcoming Far Cry film:

Every other game I did so far, the game makers were happy I did a movie to support their franchise. With Far Cry, Ubisoft wants me to make a good movie because this is already a big franchise for them and they want to keep it going. I think they will be more involved in the whole process than the other companies before. We always want to make a good movie. In the past, the game companies never co-promoted the movie or even had a new game come out with the movie.

You know, if Ubisoft really wanted to make a good movie, they would've hired a good director. Baffling on why Ubisoft roped in the German director, infamous for making craptacular game movies. My take: Uwe Boll must be the greatest sweet talker on Earth. Brian Ashcraft

Uwe Boll's 2007 [1Up]

This is probably why I don't listen to the radio. No wait, this is exactly why I don't listen to the radio. Brian Ashcraft

Thanks, omlette

Here's gaming's equivalent of wiping your ass with hundred dollar bills. Some dudes with screwdrivers show you how to take apart the PS3. Putting back together? That's for wussies!

Modders, haters and people with too much money might enjoy the rest of the tutorial after the jump. Brian Ashcraft

Maybe four months ago we would've thought this cool—and THAT'S pushing it! But someone decided to provide tutorial on how to take it apart a DS Lite. Not sure which is more annoying: That they filmed this (and stupid me posted it), that the Lite is grimy or that I'm forced to stare at the bloody site's URL during the entire thing. For that offense alone, I did not visit it. The guy's voice too is unnerving as well. But, here it is, in case you like to take shit apart you can't put back together. Brian Ashcraft

Here, in its entirety, is a letter from a desperate man. Yoshi wrote it to inform us that he planned to absolutely wallow in his Wii as soon as he got it out of the bag, and had taken steps to assure that he would not be disturbed.

Hi! Just wanted to let you guys know that once I get the Nintendo Wii, I will be spending a straight week on the Wii (minus 4-5hrs/day for sleep). i have been approved for the time off from work, and will be setting up a live web feed of my week with Wii. I don't plan on leaving my room for anything but toiletry needs and the blog update every 4 hours. I'll give you guys more info as the luanch approaches. I know I can't do this alone, that is why my younger brother will be joining me to ensure that I don't sleep longer than I need to. i'll be picking up Twilight Princess, Red Steel, Madden 07, Rayman, Excite Truck, Call of Duty 3, and a few others that I'm hoping will make luanch. I will be living off of pizza, and anything microwavable. Just thought you guys might be interested! Oh and yes I deed manage to get a Wii pre-order, 2 actually, Thanks for your time Yosh!

Oh my god, Yoshi, you poor baby. Listen. It's not worth it, okay? They're launch games. Forcing yourself to spend a week in a room with them, gorging yourself on lukewarm Domino's and Bawls, will do nothing but fatten you like a veal calf and make me sad.

After a few days you will begin to despise these games, like you begin to despise your best friend after he becomes your roommate and starts leaving pubic hair on the sink and peach pits in the garbage disposal.

Slow news day? Try no news day. Eliza Gauger

Chowderhead "filmmaker" Uwe Boll recently confirmed that he will inflict visual pain on the world once again by making yet another movie based on the video game BloodRayne, so expect an official announcement soon. The prequel hit theaters last year and sucked. The end. Since the box office disaster that was the previous BloodRayne film, Chowderhead has spent his time beating up overweight internet geeks to prove he isn't a crappy director, but rather a small, insecure jerk. Hey Uwe, your movies are still rotten camp, and the intertubes still hates you. Brian Ashcraft

Uwe Is A Doo-Doo and Is Making Another Bad Movie [Eurogamer]

The Virtual Console? Region locked. Yep. European gamers get European versions, Americans get American and the Japanese get all the cool stuff. The Virtual Console will be dishing up titles from the NES, Super NES, Nintendo 64, the Sega Genesis and the TurboGrafx at a rate of 10 per month. Cool, but still... What's more, while the Wii is compatible with all GameCube software, these titles will be region locked, too. This region locked nonsense has gotten me bummed out about the Wii. The lack of such protection on the DS is one of the things that makes the portable so darn cool. Surely, Nintendo must understand this. Surely. Brian Ashcraft

Nintendo UK Says Wii All Locked Up [Eurogamer]