You know why this is just good comedy writing? Because they make every frat house masturbation joke imaginable without once punning "Wii."

Ninty's gotta have mixed feelings here - this A-list TV mention for Wario Land: Shake It probably doubled overnight the exposure generated by the game's marketing campaign. However, the Wii is portrayed as something only slightly less sexualized than a Fleshlight.

Anyway, sure I laughed. You did too. The Parents Television Council can choke on it. On the Wiimote I mean. Or what it represents in this case.

Strangely enough, James Montagna of Los Angeles, winner of one of those "bottomless coin sacks" also got an all expenses paid trip to the Nintendo World Store in New York. On top of the free mustache, if you can believe that.

(If anyone at the park has an extra mustache, even if it was pulled from the trash, please let us know. We have things to trade!)

You asked for it, you got it. Is Wario Land: Shake It! the answer to your classic gaming prayers or is merely a 16-bit era relic with a pretty polish?

Loved
Hand-drawn Visuals: The well animated oversized sprites and lush, parallax-scrolling backgrounds provided by anime studio Production I.G give Shake It! a clean and comical look. Character and enemy designs may vary in their quality, but no two stages look alike and special visual effects are used sparingly.
The Music: It's obnoxious, cheesy, gratingly catchy. And it's amazingly fitting for the game. Saccharine sweet smooth jazz, twangy country-western instrumentals and spooky ditties pepper the soundtrack, tunes that may have you bobbing your head while thinking "God, this song is annoying."
Short, But Not Shallow: The main campaign, as it were, will probably take little more than five to six hours to blow through. When Wario vanquishes the final boss, however, not an easy task, there's still plenty to do. I completed the game with just 71% of the stages unlocked, 40% of the treasure acquired and a paltry 7% of the stage missions under my belt. Expect to double (or triple) your core gameplay time to get everything.

Hated
Nothing New: Wario Land 4 for the Game Boy Advance set the bar for the series, bringing with it new gameplay mechanics and heaps of charm. Shake It! has hardly any of that, offering a rather mundane collect-a-thon without much in the way of interesting gameplay concepts. A few Wario Land staples appear later in the game, but Shake It! feels like it was plucked from the 90s in the gameplay department. The Wii remote adds little more than frustration when it doesn't respond or fires you out of a man-cannon at the wrong angle.
Boss Battles: They're either simplistic and dull or maddening in their difficulty. The uninspired boss battles, some just plain annoying for the shear amount of stuff they throw at you, illustrate just how wearisome some of the new mechanics can be.
Subwarine Stages: Shake It! deviates from standard jumping and bumping for a handful of stages, but these underwater segments are more of an annoyance than a welcome change of pace.

Wario Land: Shake It!'s 2D gameplay feels somewhat stale and sterile in comparison to what Nintendo has offered the series in the past, not unlike New Super Mario Bros. a title that was frustratingly simple, devoid of new ideas. The core mechanics are there, and they're presented with finesse, there's just a surprising lack of innovation on display.

That doesn't mean it's not enjoyable, as the mechanics are sound and the allure of increasing percentages through perfected gameplay to collect every last object is still there, even if the tasks sometimes feel insurmountable and hardly worth the effort. It's just that die-hard Wario Land fans may feel like they've been there and done that. And done it better.

Wario Land: Shake It!, developed by Good-Feel and published by Nintendo was released on Sept. 22 for the Wii. Retails for $49.99. Played to completion.

Confused by our reviews? Read our review FAQ.

Wario Land: Shake It – Amazing footage! [YouTube]

“Wario Land: Shake It! is a game that everyone from veterans to newcomers can enjoy,” said Cammie Dunaway, Nintendo of America’s executive vice president of Sales & Marketing. “Partnering with Six Flags to bring the title to theme parks nationwide is a great opportunity for consumers to experience the game and rediscover the franchise at a place that is designed for fun.”

But wait, there's more! Six Flags Magic Mountain near LA and Six Flags St. Louis will be hosting speed contests on the 27th, with the fastest overall time winning a trip to New York to visit the Nintendo World Store, while the speediest at each part wins a DS, a copy of the game, and a gift certificate for Six Flags junk! I can barely stand the excitement! Press release, take us home.

Nintendo’s Famous Anti-Hero, Wario, Invades Six Flags This Summer

Theme Parks’ Guests to Experience Wario Land: Shake It!’s Game-Play Features and Compete for Prizes

REDMOND, Wash.—(BUSINESS WIRE)— Nintendo and its favorite antagonist, Wario™, have teamed up with Six Flags to take over 10 theme parks throughout the country this September. In celebration of the release of Wario Land™: Shake It!, the new game for the Wii™ console, Nintendo will be giving park guests the opportunity to check out the game and win prizes.

Wario Land: Shake It! plays like a classic side-scroller, but incorporates motion-controlled elements: Players shake the Wii Remote™ controller to help Wario shake down enemies for coins or tilt it to help him decide where to toss them. The game launches exclusively for Wii on Sept. 22.

“Wario Land: Shake It! is a game that everyone from veterans to newcomers can enjoy,” said Cammie Dunaway, Nintendo of America’s executive vice president of Sales & Marketing. “Partnering with Six Flags to bring the title to theme parks nationwide is a great opportunity for consumers to experience the game and rediscover the franchise at a place that is designed for fun.”

As part of the theme park takeover, Wario Land: Shake It! game-play interactives will be available at the 10 Six Flags parks’ Wii Experience areas to allow Wario fans and park guests the chance to experience the game first-hand and reconnect with the long-running Wario franchise.

In addition, on Sept. 27, Nintendo will host a competition at two Six Flags locations: Six Flags Magic Mountain near Los Angeles and Six Flags St. Louis. Running concurrently at both parks, competitors will play through a level in Wario Land: Shake It! as fast as they can, just as Wario must race through various levels in the game. At the end of the competition, the player with the best overall time will be Nintendo’s guest on a holiday trip to New York and a visit to the Nintendo World store. In addition, one person at each park with the best overall time will win a “Bottomless Coin Sack” containing:

* a Wii system and a copy of Wario Land: Shake It!
* a Nintendo DS™ system
* a gift certificate for Six Flags merchandise
* fun premium items

Remember that Wii features parental controls that let adults manage the content their children can access. For more information about this and other Wii features, visit Wii.com.

For more information about Wario Land: Shake It!, visit www.WarioLandShakeIt.com.

Participating Parks and dates include:

* Six Flags Great Adventure (Jackson, N.J.) – 9/27-28, 10/4-5, 10/11-12
* Six Flags Magic Mountain (Valencia, Calif.) - 9/27-28, 10/4-5, 10/11-12
* Six Flags Great America (Gurnee, Ill.) - 10/4-5, 10/11-12
* Six Flags Over Texas (Arlington, Texas) - 9/27-28, 10/4-5, 10/11-12
* Six Flags Over Georgia (Austell, Ga.) - 9/27-28, 10/4-5, 10/11-12
* Six Flags Fiesta Texas (San Antonio, Texas) - 10/4-5, 10/11-12
* Six Flags New England (Agawam, Mass.) - 9/27-28, 10/4-5, 10/11-12
* Six Flags Discovery Kingdom (Vallejo, Calif.) - 9/27-28, 10/4-5, 10/11-12
* Six Flags America (Bowie, Md.) - 10/4-5, 10/11-12
* Six Flags St. Louis (Eureka, Mo.) - 9/27-28, 10/4-5, 10/11-12

Stranger still was the fact that there were almost no lines for the beautifully crafted 2D platformer. I handed the controller to Tristan and watched him take to the title like a gamer thirsting for some old-school, hardcore fun on a casual gaming platform.

The game plays mostly with the D-pad and buttons but you do have to pull off the occasional motion-activated slam. Wario Land Shake It seems fairly straight forward, but Nintendo has buried plenty of hidden items and side quests to make the game fun to replay.

The thing most captivating about the game is its clean, hand-drawn look. It's simply beautiful to behold in action.

Nintendo is promising, however, that it hasn't abandoned the core, while Nintendo prez Reggie Fils-Aime coyly suggested back in April that gamers will have plenty to be delighted about this year. He talked about "maximizing our key franchises," and hinted at "a big game for the holiday that the gamers will want." That the title in question is Animal Crossing Wii has all but been confirmed.

Thus far, Nintendo's been mysterious, with only Mario Super Sluggers and Wario Land: Shake It! announced for Wii, and Kirby Super Star Ultra and seek-and-solve title Mystery Case Files: MillionHeir confirmed for DS.

And what about the hardware? Hit the jump for more on Nintendo at E3 this year.

Given Nintendo's investment in Wii Ware, it's rational for gamers to hope for a new storage device of some sort for Wii. But the company has repeatedly appeared to deprioritize the issue, with Nintendo of Europe managing director Laurent Fischer somewhat famously stating that "geeks and otaku" were the only ones who'd want such a thing (he later apologized).

When we recently asked a Nintendo of America rep for an update on the issue, he said, "I can tell you that if you need more space, you can just delete downloaded games that you have not played for a while. If you want to play them in the future, you can re-download them again for free. And SD cards also can be used to store content." So, storage device? Seems unlikely.

Product-cycle aficionados eyeing the life cycle and sales patterns of the DS have suggested the time might be right for a DS redesign, and Nintendo's placid pre-E3 quietude (relative to some of its industry peers) just might be explained by the fact they have such a big reveal under wraps. But not so much as a peep on that front has been forthcoming, and Nintendo has been quick to dismiss any rumors that crop up, like when a widescreen DS concept design seemed to pop up in a Disgaea ad.

Meanwhile, Rhythm Tengoku Gold for DS hits July 31 in Japan, and a US release date has yet to be announced. In the April interview, Fils-Aime sidestepped questions about the Wii music game announced at E3 2006, now tentatively titled, sensibly, Wii Music — although given the current band-game craze, the timing might be right. Fils-Aime has also been mum on a Donkey Kong for Wii.

Nintendo recently said that a Kirby for Wii is still on track for 2008, while at last report, previously-announced Monolith Soft Wii project Disaster: Day Of Crisis was "delayed indefinitely."

So here are the only E3 titles we know for sure:

NINTENDO'S WARIO, KIRBY BRING THE FUN; SLEUTHS GET A NEW MYSTERY CASE FILES GAME

New Experiences on the Way for Wii and Nintendo DS

REDMOND, Wash., June 25, 2008 – While the game world awaits the E3 Media & Business Summit in Los Angeles next month, Nintendo isn't waiting to announce new titles for its mushrooming libraries for the Wii™ console and Nintendo DS™. Classic Nintendo characters like bad-boy Wario™ and pink powerhouse Kirby® will star in their own platform games. A new Mystery Case Files™ game brings the best-selling Big Fish Games franchise to Nintendo DS for the first time. These games join the recently announced Mario™ Super Sluggers baseball game for the Wii console.

"Nintendo's game libraries continue to grow at a rapid pace," said Cammie Dunaway, Nintendo of America's executive vice president of Sales & Marketing. "Wario stars in a great new platformer, Kirby enthusiasts get an updated version of a fan favorite, there's a new mystery for Mystery Case Files aficionados and baseball gets a few new Mario-style twists."

Wario Land™: Shake It!, a classic side-scroller for the Wii console launching Sept. 29, stars Wario, the smelly, bad-mannered alter ego of Mario™. With the Wii Remote™ controller turned sideways like an old-school controller, veterans and newcomers alike can run, jump and smash their way through hectic side-scrolling stages. Players shake the Wii Remote to help Wario take down his enemies, empty bags of treasure or cause earthquakes. Best of all, there are numerous stages each offering multiple missions to keep players coming back again and again to unlock everything, collect more coins or just improve their best times.

Kirby Super Star™ Ultra for Nintendo DS, launching Sept. 29, re-imagines one of the most beloved Kirby games of all time. Kirby Super Star Ultra features new graphics and fully rendered animated cut scenes. With so many adventures waiting to be unlocked, there will never be a dull moment as Kirby runs, floats, copies enemies and uses Helpers to fight King Dedede and Meta Knight. New modes like Revenge of the King and Meta Knight Ultra await, along with classics like The Great Cave Offensive and Milky Way Wishes. On top of the main modes, there are also three new touch-screen-controlled mini-games that can be played with up to three friends via DS Download Play. Not only that, but players can go on Kirby adventures with a friend via local wireless as well.

Mystery Case Files™: MillionHeir™, launching Sept. 8, uses the unique Nintendo DS interface to expand upon the seek-and-solve game play of the popular series from Big Fish Games. Players seek out cleverly hidden items in a multitude of painted scenes. Players progress through an interactive detective story investigating a cast of characters and uncovering new evidence to find the rightful heir to a million-dollar fortune. This new portable installment is available only for Nintendo DS. With interactive logic puzzles that use both the touch-screen interface and built-in microphone and include the first ever multiplayer mode for a Mystery Case Files game, Mystery Case Files: MillionHeir presents a new generation of seek-and-solve games for casual gamers and franchise fans.

Mario™ Super Sluggers, launching Aug. 25 for the Wii console, stars the ever-lovable Mario and his crew of friends. It builds on the social-gaming fun and movements people learned in Wii Sports™ and turns them into a full-fledged baseball game that can be played by every member of the household. Players make a throwing motion with the Wii Remote controller to pitch the baseball and make a swinging motion to swing at the pitch. The game boasts more than 30 playable Nintendo characters and all the madness of a Mario sports game. Just like Mario Kart® Wii, it bridges the gap between experienced players and those new to the Wii console, with fun challenges and beautiful graphics.

Remember that Wii features parental controls that let adults manage the content their children can access. For more information about this and other Wii features, visit Wii.com.

For more information about these and other Nintendo products, visit Nintendo.com.

Thanks, Josh for the tip!

[via Go Nintendo]