Antivirus stalwarts Norton feel your pain and will try to offer succor in the form of Norton AntiVirus 2009 Gaming Edition. The release is tweaked to use 80% less memory than the standard settings and will allow security parameters to be dialled down to maximise performance.

There is also a 'Gamers Mode' that suspends all update downloads (no bandwidth sucking while you are trying to use your link for sensible stuff like killing Zombies) and stops all antiviral notifications from interrupting your playtime.

Norton AntiVirus 2009 Gaming Edition promises to be less intrusive Gamertell]

Screw it, the gallery isn't showing. Click here to see Oneechanbara X screenshots.

This one was sent in by Funky J, and boy am I glad. In this charming collection of screenshots from the latest iteration of the Oneechanbara series (see gameplay from #2 here, which features a character crossover from the giant bikini babe game Florian addressed recently) The Oneechanbara X - The Devil Evolution Human, we see our main protagonist wearing nothing but a flimsy &mdash and porous &mdash item of swimwear. And a cowboy hat. It's adorable, actually.

Word around the campfire is that this game is an endless zombie brawler in the style of Dynasty Warriors, but with a lot more upskirts and flying trachea.

While the mucous membranes of the genital area, and follicles of the nipples are important areas to protect, I venture that spandex is an inferior barrier and furthermore, that the face must be guarded as well.

In the wake of the "games make you pregnant" comments thread debacle, in which some truly ignorant statements were made, I felt it important to address the issue of safe zombie-bashing.

I have long wondered how the heroes of zombie films can get away with walking among highly contagious undead without becoming infested with the "Z-virus". Though I am more fond of the theory that like toxoplasmosis and the gordian worm, the zombie germ is some sort of a mind-controlling parasite.

But back to the issue at hand. How to walk, and fight, among the undead without inadvertently contracting their shambling gait and myopic cravings?

Answer to this question, plus a larger version of illustration at right, after the jump.

Simple. Full-body protection.

The latex (or in a pinch, vinyl) catsuit is flexible enough for everything from cringing and wailing to shotgunkata, and hides none of your delicious curves. In fact, a well-tailored catsuit can go a long way towards hiding cellulite, less-than-perky breasts, or a few extra pounds in the stomach area. And it is absolutely impermeable by pus, mucus, saliva, blood, and any other Z virus-bearing bodily fluid that is not strongly acidic or laced with rubber-devouring nanobots.

And if you keep it nice and lubed, their dull human teeth will slide right off with a squeak.

To better assist my flying monkeys in visualizing this, I have included a diagram.

This is Dii, named such because when she was wee, her parents thought it was funny that she was fat, and called her Gordita. The nickname stuck, as they do, so she's a little sensitive about her weight. This getup makes her uncomfortable. She's all grown up and thinned out, and now she works in the mall's "adult novelty" shop to pay for design college.

Her gear includes: pink catsuit with waterproof zipper and hood (pilfered from the "apparel" section), backpack for carrying inventory (like rubber cement and duct tape for on-the-go repairs), hockey stick (from Jock n' Go), dust mask (Hungerdunger & McCormick Hardware), and she's about to acquire a fine denim vest.

Now if only there was some way to develop this into a Dead Rising mod... Eliza Gauger

Get your own full-body catsuit here [Imp of Satan]
Official Site for Oneechanbara X [D3P.co.jp]