The Midnight Riders—or their management, we presume, since the band has been missing in action since October—have released their holiday single "All I Want For Christmas (Is To Kick Your Ass)" online, giving Left 4 Dead 2/southern rock superfans a new Christmas anthem to break pool cues and beer bottles to.

The fiction, explaining how the Midnight Riders would even conceive of writing a Christmas tune, can be enjoyed at the band's YouTube page.

All I Want For Christmas (Is To Kick Your Ass) [YouTube - thanks, Chad & Jeremy!]

The Left 4 Dead 2 authoring tools include support for AI Director logic for variable level layouts and the option to use a single map in any mode—Versus, Co-op, Scavenge and Survival. And it looks like your original Left 4 Dead creations will work, provided those creations are recompiled in the new authoring tools.

Naturally, this is for the PC version of Left 4 Dead 2, so fire up Steam to download the add-on and creation tools.

Sorry, no Christmas break for you, modding community. But we're pretty happy that Valve got this SDK out the door a heck of a lot faster than it did for the original Left 4 Dead.

All I want for Christmas is an SDK [L4D Blog]

Steam's holiday sale has kicked off a little early this year, with all kinds of tempting deals. Like Mirror's Edge for $5, GTAIV for $7.50 and Defense Grid for $2.50.

That's Mirror's Edge, GTAIV and Defense Grid - three of the finest games of the past two years- all for $15. Crazy.

There are plenty more great deals listed (50% off all Ubisoft games, an Eidos pack with Batman, Mini Ninjas, Deus Ex and Hitman), and plenty more to come until the sale ends on Sunday, January 3.

[Steam Holiday Sale]

It's to be noted that these guys are in the early stages of development, so don't expecting them to go pushing carts or pulling off rocket jumps just yet. What they can do, however, is play a little King of the Hill, so if you'd like to see what it's like playing Team Fortress 2 with no friends, follow the steps below:

- To add bots to your game, use the console command tf_bot_add. This will drop a random bot onto a random team (assuming there is a free player slot). The tf_bot_add command can also take up to three optional arguments: , , and , in any order. For example, tf_bot_add 10 will add 10 random bots to the game with auto-assigned teams. Typing tf_bot_add pyro blue will add a Pyro to the blue team. Entering tf_bot_add red 5 will add 5 random bots to the red team. The command tf_bot_add red 3 heavyweapons will add three heavies to the red team.

- In order to put specific bots on specific teams (for a bots-vs-humans game, for example), you may want to disable automatic team balancing. To do this, enter mp_autoteambalance 0 followed by mp_teams_unbalance_limit 0.

- To remove a bot, use the console command kick . To remove all of the bots in the game, use the command tf_bot_kick all.

And that's it! Just make sure you've got some player slots left open for the bots, as they need to occupy them to enter the game.

Hit the link below for more detailed info.

Erectin a dispenser [Valve]

First up, "over 60" Steam achievements are being retro-fitted to the title. Next up, it's being made compatible with Steam Cloud, meaning you can move your settings and save games between computers (handy, since Torchlight runs so well on laptops).

And finally, the game's going on sale this weekend. It'll cost you $10. That, kids, is a steal.

Spoils which come in the form of the final update to the game's characters for the week. Since the Soldiers won, the Soldier gets a bonus new item, which is a pair of "Gunboats", boots that when equipped greatly reduce the amount of damage absorbed from a rocket jump.

Everyone's a winner today, though, with the week of war drawing to a close with a gift all players can enjoy: two new maps. The first is called Gorge, and is "an attack/defense map with only two control points, designed for quick rounds and fast, frantic play". The second is called "Doublecross", and is "a fast-paced map that promises a lot of turnaround, with fighting focused on the main bridge and plenty of ways to fall off of it (or cause others to)".

[Team Fortress 2]

One piece of real news, though: Valve announced that it's begun transitioning new inventory into the game, but until the update goes live, players won't see it. [Update] It's now live. Run go get it.

That inventory should include new items for both Soldier and Demoman (check them out here) as well as new achievements - 35 each for both classes.

And the Winner is... [Team Fortress 2 blog]

As expected, the Soldier gets a pickaxe (which deals more damage the less health you have) and a banner, which can inspire his fellow troops.

The Demoman, meanwhile, gets a new sticky bomb launcher, one which sacrifices firepower for the ability to selectively detonate the bombs.

Both classes will also be getting 35 new achievements each. For more info, hit the link below.

[Team Fortress 2]

Valve have picked the three winners from a field of over 11,000 entries, each of which will receive one-of-a-kind in-game items. And boy do they deserve it. Especially that "Blue Devil" one. Let's hope there was a clause in the entry forms stating the winners may end up for sale in Valve's store!

[Team Fortress 2]

This is the "Direct Hit". It's a new rocket launcher for the Soldier, which is aimed at those who, well, like to aim. Its splash damage is greatly reduced, but in exchange, it's a lot faster and more powerful than a standard rocket. It also does extra damage on airborne targets, so if you've been trained to jump to avoid a rocket's splash damage, might want to keep your feet on the ground for the next few weeks.

In addition to the upgrade, there's yet another TF2 comic, along with the news that anyone sitting on the sidelines who is at all curious about what all this means, this weekend will see TF2 go free-to-play. Hell, it's not even a weekend; it starts on Thursday, meaning you get four days with the game for free.

[Team Fortress 2]

They're part of the "Close Combat Kit", which arms the Demoman with a sword and shield. The sword - "The Eyelander" - is a guaranteed decapitation if you score a kill, however equipping it will give you a decreased maximum health. Oh, and it's haunted.

The shield, meanwhile, is called "The Chargin' Targe", and if equipped replaces the sticky bomb launcher. As a shield with a giant spike sticking out the end, it provides not only increased protection against fire (+50%) and blast (+65%) damage, but can also be used as a stabbing weapon. Oh, and it also increases your chances of landing a critical hit when using a melee attack. So it's rather handy.

Finally, those looking for an update in the battle between Soldier and Demoman should know that the Soldier is slightly ahead.

Got all that? Great. Now kick back and enjoy a new TF2 comic.

"The Passing" offers more than just a friendly Survivor get-together, adding one new "uncommon common" infected type, new weapons—one melee, one firearm—and "a new co-operative challenge mode of play." The new campaign will naturally be playable in Survival, Versus and Scavenge modes in addition to that still unannounced newer mode.

The new episode is "set in a small town in rural Georgia," according to Valve's release, keeping players in the role of Left 4 Dead 2's cast "as they meet with the L4D1 characters." Could "The Passing" offer 4-plus-4 cooperative multiplayer action, or are we just aiming too high?

Left 4 Dead 2's "The Passing" is scheduled for release in "early spring" for the PC and Xbox 360. Pricing has not yet been announced.

"EVERYTHING in your inventory now contributes towards something you actually WANT, and can build YOURSELF!" Valve declares."If you're super clever, you'll even be able to craft new items before others can earn them the old fashioned way."

The blog post links over directly to it; it can also be found by flipping through this newspaper portal. Which of course includes the funnies, and that means another manful episode of Saxton Hale. More on that in a bit.

Regarding crafting, players will get weapon blueprints (recipes listing items needed to build other weapons), some of them immediately, others will have to be earned or figured out by the players. So, no more swearing over which item was the most useless in your loadout. Just smelt it down to raw parts, follow the blueprint, and voila.

Now, regarding Mr. Hale. On page 5 of his comic, People have discovered a magic secret page that points to a page full of some more vintage comic-book spoof ads. Some readers have suggested that it might hint at future weapons and items. And no, I'm not talking about the bazooka used to murder Fred Astaire.

To get to the page, click on the words "poor monkey" here. Then you'll see that fake company Mann Co. is offering some commemorative plates honoring fake monkey astronaut "Poopy Joe," but its what they choose to depict that is so conspicuously intriguing.

• The PICKAXE Poopy Joe would have used to PIERCE the VAULT OF HEAVEN itself!

• The GIANT SWORD Poopy Joe would have used to fight off Soviet monkeynaut Vladimir Bananas! How do you like the taste of AMERICAN STEEL, comrade?

• The tiny BUGLE we gave him to blow on in case he got in trouble, so that we could launch ANOTHER MONKEY INTO SPACE to help him!

• If you order now, we'll include a bonus plate showing the EXPLOSION of his capsule. Try to imagine it reflected in the TEAR-STAINED EYE OF AN EAGLE!

So, three of these would have offensive purposes, and I'd guess a bugle could provide a kind of team buff effect. Again, this is nothing but speculation. The big news here is crafting. That definitely provides new items.

Also, note the rest of the ads on that page. Please do not staple a $550,000 check to a postcard addressed to Box 857 Saratoga N.J. Not only will you not, in fact, own Florida (man enough or no), you will probably not get any cool Mann Co. swag this time, because there is no such place as Saratoga, N.J. Your mail will be returned as undeliverable, provided someone doesn't cash the check first.

Weekend Update [TF2 Blog, thanks to all who sent this in]

Either the Soldier or Demoman class will be on the receiving end of that to-be-revealed unlockable. And Valve is letting players decide who gets it, having them vote via bodycount.

"If you want your class to have it, you're going to have to fight for it," writes Team Fortress 2 lead Robin Walker on the official blog. "The more Demomen you kill as the Soldier class will help ensure the Soldier gets the weapon at the end of the week. The more Soldiers you kill as the Demo will help the Demo class get the exclusive seventh weapon."

New weapons for the Demo and Soldier will be revealed over the course of the next week. And players can keep an eye on the kill contest at the TF2 War hub page. If you feel strongly about your class getting that seventh unlockable, we'd advise you to start contributing to the kill count pronto!

The War Update [Team Fortress]

Most of the changes appear to be relatively small, somewhat reducing the effectiveness of the Spitter in some circumstances, but not by much. A less specific updating of Special Infected hit boxes is also included, but how they were updated, we're not yet sure.

Update: Yes, we are sure. This Steam forum thread illustrates the differences between the old and new hit boxes for the Charger, Jockey and Spitter.

Here's the full list of changes.

• Changed rules for ghost placement in Scavenge Mode
• Player controlled Special Infected are no longer forced to un-crouch and lock strafe when they crouch attack
• Spitter spit that damages players on a moving elevator will now fizzle quickly
• Allow the survivor and infected to rotate the camera yaw while being attacked by a Charger or Smoker
• Smoker that has dragged a survivor to the end now gets the same cinematic flashlight as the Hunter and Charger
• Fixed a crash in physics
• Updated the Charger's hit boxes
• Updated the Jockey's hit boxes
• Updated the Spitter's hit boxes
• Fixed player health on being revived after a Charger slam over a high ledge
• Fixed versus scores not resetting after a vote to change campaigns
• Fixed being able to use defibrillator on dead players who were far above or below you
• Fixed pink glow on dead survivors
• Fixed being able to hold crouch while incapped to get better weapon accuracy
• Fixed players pushing against some props causing them to accumulate downward velocity and then take falling damage when they let go of the forward key
• Fixed a case where an incapped survivor inside a rescue vehicle would trigger both the escape sequence and a round restart
• Fixed the helping hand from getting stuck when extended

These events play out in a webcomic that's popped up in a post on the Team Fortress 2 blog that simply says, "Attention employees...friendship ends in 1 day." In the rather lengthy comic, the administrator reacts badly to news that two opposing team members have formed a lasting bond of friendship. You can read the rest for yourselves at the link below, but pay attention to that last line.

"Nothing kills a friendship faster...than a healthy competition."

Could the mystery of the strange sound files be solved? Insert dramatic chipmunk here.

Attention employees... [Team Fortress 2 Blog - Thanks Jim!]

While some Team Fortress 2 players are left scratching their heads, some have already heard the Announcer's new dialogue used in game. The developer says the update is not related to a new game type.

"We've got something coming, but it's not a new game mode," Valve's Robin Walker says. "The key to understanding the new sound files is to figure out who's hearing them in-game, and who isn't."

Well, that's certainly cryptic, Mr. Walker! Since I've not heard them in-game yet, nor have I taken a survey of who has, we're still trying to figure this one out.

It seems to be suggesting that a new game mode is on the way for Team Fortress 2, one that sees players from opposing teams joining forces, much to the displeasure of the announcer.

So, what, you start a normal game then the teams are randomised? Reds and Blues vs Blues and Reds? That's one of my two impressions, and it's an intriguing one.

My other impression is that this is Valve, and this is Team Fortress 2, and both of them take great delight in fucking with us, so who knows, it could be the reddest of red herrings.

[thanks Sylon!]

Swift is joining Airtight Games, the studio behind Capcom's almost-finished jet-pack action game Dark Void. She will be a project lead.

"I've learned so much and had some amazing experiences at Valve," Swift said in a press release announcing the move. "But when I heard I had the opportunity to work on innovative titles with my friends over at Airtight, I couldn't pass it up."

Swift was last seen by Kotaku in Tokyo, where she was demonstrating Left 4 Dead 2 and helping members of this website find a chainsaw with which to slice zombies.

Not that Kotaku was expecting any, but this news sheds no light on a Portal 2, other than to confirm that should such a sequel be made it won't have one of its chief creators involved.

L4DMods.com says it got a look at code detailing what can be expected in the release. Let's let them explain\:

Custom models are now supported and very much a reality now! And that includes survivors, special infected, common infected and weapons. Not only that, it seems the weapon functionality can also be edited. So what does this all mean? Well it means mappers can have custom survivors, special/common infected and entirely new weapons unique to just their campaigns (i.e map side modifications, NOT server side)! The L4D modding scene just got a little more interesting boys and girls.

What does this mean to you, the Left 4 Dead 2 PC player? Well, a whole lot more than just Nude Zoeys, I'd bet. Maybe nude jockey-Zoeys hybrids? It's a start.

L4D2 SDK Content Revealed! Custom Models a Reality [L4DMods via Evil Avatar]