You may have seen these godawful Street Fighter II Valentine's Day cards before—they date back to 1992, when Gamepro paid people like this to do their "artwork"—but if not, I sincerely apologize. They're probably the most horrifically rendered interpretations of the classic Capcom fighters you'll ever see. So, download, print them out and give them to someone you despise. I highly recommend the horribly disfigured Chun-Li for the most deplorable Valentine in your life. He or she will surely thank you with a slap. Thanks and Happy Valentine's Day to reader Chris for the pointer.

Pokemon Valentines, Now With Razor Blades

When one Floridian woman picked up some Pokemon valentines at her local Dollar General, her son spotted something peculiar sticking out from the bundled lollipops: razor-sharp chunks of box-cutter blades. Luckily he noticed the metal protrusion before he handed a lollipop to his sister for her tongue to go all Bulbasaur.

I'd always laughed at the warnings of razor blades in candy. But I guess that, yes, some people do hate children, or at least Pokemon, that much.

Woman Finds Razor Blade Inside Valentine's Day Candy [WFTV via GoNintendo]

Today is Valentine's Day, a day to celebrate love in all its many forms. Love is an ongoing theme throughout human history, from the age of myths to the information age. It's in our books, the television and movies we watch, and yes - it's in our video games. In honor of that sweetest of four-letter words, I give you my top five video game love stories.

5. Billy Lee and Marian - Double Dragon (Arcade)

This one could really go either way. At the beginning of the first Double Dragon, Billy Lee's girlfriend Marian is kidnapped by the Black Warriors, who want the secrets of the Sōsetsuken martial art in exchange for the girl. Billy and his brother Jimmy fight their way through four stages of enemies in order to secure Billy's woman, only to get into a fight at the very end for Marian's affection. If Billy wins it's a beautiful love story. If Jimmy wins she's either a flighty hussy or so terrified Jimmy will beat her up to that she has no choice but to go with him. Either way, not the best love story. Bah, like it matters anyway - Marian gets shot dead at the beginning of the second game. Bastards.

We featured artist Alexandria Neonakis' art last Valentine's Day, but her new series, bringing the best of romantic hokeyness to Team Fortress 2, is even more deserving of some special attention. If you've found yourself without a V-Day card to your name, fire up the old color inkjet and print out one of her five beautifully rendered cards that feature the Scout, Spy, Heavy, Pyro and Medic, famous for their appearances in Valve's The Orange Box. Amazing how Team Fortress 2 seems applicable to so many holidays.

If you're more of a World of Warcraft, Shadow of the Colossus or Katamari Damacy romantic type, those Valentines are still available.

Art [Nuts N' Beavers - thanks, Tobias!]

Nintendo, Won't You Be My Valentine?

Fact: Mario is the master of love. Sure, his relationship with the Princess sometimes feels more innocuous than passionate—and the whole Bowser infatuation certainly kinks up the confusing sexual undertones—but no matter what the circumstance, he always wins back the Princess against overwhelming odds. So why not celebrate Valentine's with some free Nintendo valentines? From 4 Color Rebellion, these charming notes will only cost you some color ink or a few seconds of copy/pasting into an email. Beecause really, what potential lover can resist a good "bee" pun?

It's Valentine's Day! Show Your Geek That You Care! [4ColorRebellion via GoNintendo]

Video Games Live Is For Lovers

In fear of letting the theme of "girls like video games too" fall by the wayside (because, y'know, you were all so concerned), I thought I'd let you know of my deferred Valentine's Day plans for this weekend: the boyfriend is taking me to see Video Games Live! While Kotaku writers have been to the show in the past, I thought it might be nice to let you know how the new 2008 tour compares, since Toronto will be the fifth stop on the tour of over forty cities.

I'll be sure to give a full report of my adventure next week. In the meantime, is anyone else going to the Toronto show - (and that's not an invite, you'll have to supply your own date)? Or does anyone else have gaming-related plans for V-Day?

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