This would have been excellent news for me last week, but at some point over the weekend they were showing Ultraviolet on TNT, so thoughts of Milla currently leave a very bad taste in my mouth.

Jovovich Makes Time for Clock Tower [ComingSoon.net]

WII-KLY UPDATE: THREE NEW CLASSIC GAMES ADDED ON THE WII CONSOLE'S FIRST ANNIVERSARY

Nov. 19, 2007

Wii™ celebrates its first anniversary today, and big stars from past consoles are coming out to help Nintendo celebrate. Luminaries walking the Virtual Console™ red carpet this week include Mario™ and Luigi™, Sonic The Hedgehog and Zonk. So throw on your best tuxedo or finest gown, and get ready to party with these video game A-listers.

Three new classic games go live at 9 a.m. Pacific time. Nintendo adds new games to the Wii™ Shop Channel every Monday. Wii owners with a high-speed Internet connection can redeem Wii Points™ to download the games. Wii Points can be purchased in the Wii Shop Channel or at retail outlets. This week's new games are:

Wrecking Crew™ (NES®, 1-2 players, rated E for Everyone, 500 Wii Points): In the days before Mario and Luigi became sports stars in their downtime between plumbing and saving the Princess, they tried their hands as one-man wrecking crews. With a hammer as their only tool, players take control of the brothers and set out to destroy ladders, rip out pipes, knock down walls and detonate explosive devices. But make sure to plan your path of destruction carefully, as each building is designed as its own clever puzzle—if you're not careful, you can easily trap yourself in a dead end. Adding to the excitement and challenge are fireballs, enemies and an angry foreman roaming the buildings. They're all trying to stop you from moving on to the next stage. With 100 buildings to demolish and the ability to construct your own, it's a wonder Mario and Luigi ever got back to saving the Mushroom Kingdom.

Sonic 3D Blast™ (Sega Genesis, 1 player, rated E for Everyone, 800 Wii Points): The evil Dr. Eggman (aka Dr. Robotnik) stumbles upon an alternate dimension where some odd birds called Flickies have the ability to travel anywhere. In order to get help in his search for the Chaos Emeralds, Dr. Eggman transforms the Flickies into robots that will help him track down his coveted gems. Of course, it's up to our favorite blue hedgehog, Sonic, to step in and save the day. Jump into this 3-D adventure as Sonic or his buddy Tails, and collect the golden rings to help free the Flickies and defeat the doctor.

Super Air Zonk (TurboGrafx16 CD-ROM, 1 player, rated E for Everyone - Mild Cartoon Violence, 800 Wii Points): Zonk is back in Super Air Zonk, the sequel to the shooting game spin-off of the Bonk series, Air "Zonk." Now moving to a rockabilly beat and able to transform into nine different characters, Zonk lets loose through seven action-packed stages in another battle against his arch nemesis, SandroVitch. Power up Zonk with the classic Meat item, eventually turning him into the champion of justice, Ultra Zonk, or the fearsome Tyrano Zonk in the latter stages of the game. After rescuing his friends from enemies, Zonk can also morph with them to combine powers. Fight enemies with killer tunes belted out from a trusty microphone. Hurl freshly made sushi at them. With its variety of wacky attacks, Super Air Zonk has a sense of humor all its own.

For more information about Wii, please visit wii.com.

The SmackTalk is bad. This is worse.

A company who shall go unnamed and unlinked is offering to powerlevel your Xbox 360 Gamerscore for ridiculous amounts of money. Considering that Gamescore means nothing, changes nothing, and will impress no one who matters, this site is truly baffling.

* +500 gamer points: $39.99 * +750 gamer points: $59.99 * +1000 gamer points: $99.99 * +1500 gamer points: $149.99 * +2000 gamer points: $199.99 * +3000 gamer points: $299.99

Not only are the prices ludicrous, but the site is peppered with phrases like "impress your friends" and "for the true player".

But much like infomercials, pyramid schemes and the like, I cannot blame the business itself. I blame anyone who supports such a service, but being that brutally insecure is probably its own punishment.

If you're going to spend money for this, I'm developing a competing system where I smile at you and pet your head while fanning you with stacks of Monopoly cash. It only costs $30 for every five minutes, and I guarantee that I can soothe your shrivelled, flaking ego with more skill than Xbox Live. Eliza Gauger

[thanks Metzger]