Kotaku: Traces of Nuts

Swedish Plant Destruction Blamed On... Grand Theft Auto (Apparently!)

Brian Ashcraft — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 04:00:00 MDT

From killing sprees to the decay of society, Grand Theft Auto has been blamed for a lot of things. Add destroying plants. Swedish park supervisor Gert Axelsson is tired of the plants being destroyed in the park he oversees in Lulea, northern Sweden. "I am very much considering getting surveillance," says Axelsson. And what does he blame for the plant destruction and increased vandalism? GTA "where you wreak havoc in the city." He's totally right, you know. Because the potted plant mission is my favorite. Heck, I've been kicking over plants all week. Whenever I see a flower bed, I immediately think uproot uproot. Just like I was taught in GTA. We're surprised that people are just catching onto this now. People are so slow sometimes.

Meningslösa skadegörelser i blomsterlådorna [NSD Thanks, John!]

Read Jack Thompson's Storming Out Of Court Transcript

Brian Ashcraft — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 02:00:00 MDT

Earlier this month, we reported that Jack Thompson walked out of his disciplinary hearing after saying the judge did not have the authority to hear his case. The Florida Bar is recommending that Thompson be disbarred for a minimum of ten years for professional misconduct. So! For those who was a blow-by-blow retelling of the fireworks, game site GamePolitics has the full court transcript. There's this nuttiness:

JT: May I move the podium?
JUDGE: No. Just everybody leave it in one spot. That's the way we usually do it in the courtroom.
JT: Can we change that one spot? No?
JUDGE: I'd prefer that you leave it right there.
JT: Nice. Can I pivot it?
JUDGE: Is that what you'd like, sir?
JT: I'm asking you.
JUDGE: Okay. That's fine.

Jack Thompson: GTA hater, podium pivoter.

Read JT Transcript [GamePolitics]

Ubisoft: Sony Need To Go Back To Drawing Board With PSP

Luke Plunkett — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 07:20:00 MDT

Yeah, the PSP is doing well in Japan, and doing better than it was in the West, but it's no DS. And if there's one company that knows how to make a fast buck on the back of Nintendo hardware, it's Ubisoft! So it should surprise none of you to hear that Ubisoft are all up on Sony's back, telling them what's wrong with their handheld and what they need to do to make things better (ie more like the DS). Ubisoft UK managing director Rob Cooper:

I think that Sony is disappointed with sales and it's unsure as to which way to take it.

Sony needs to show us a bit more about what its plans are to convince the publisher to invest lots more money into it. Especially when you've got the DS selling at such a tremendous pace.

I suppose it's almost too technical for the casual person, those that are buying the DS at the moment, who want a few buttons and not a lot more. It's so simple what [Nintendo] has done. That's where I think Sony has gone a little bit too complicated, they've over-specced it, the price is too high and they need to go back to the drawing board and start again.

Uh, whuh? Rob, meet Japan. Japan, Rob. Don't think you've met. Japan, what he means is, making real games is hard, so why isn't the PSP more like the DS, where they can just dump any old shit on it and make some money?

Ubisoft urges Sony to act on 'directionless' PSP [GI.biz]

Rich Nerds Want To Build A Utopian City In The Ocean And...Wait A Minute...

Luke Plunkett — Tue, 20 May 2008 21:40:00 MDT

We all know what happened to Rapture. Nutty smart folks thought they could build a utopian world under the ocean, they couldn't, whole thing went to the dogs, everybody died. We all learned a lesson. A lesson lost on three super-rich SIlicon Valley types (including the founder of PayPal), who have founded the the Seasteading Institute, with the goal of moving out into the ocean and creating a world "with diverse social, political, and legal systems". While their buildings won't be built under the waves (they'll be built atop them, on floating platforms), the basic principle remains: they're going to get smug, they're going to mess with things they shouldn't mess with, everybody is going to die.

Peter Thiel Makes Down Payment on Libertarian Ocean Colonies [Wired]

Judge Says Jack Thompson Guilty Of Misconduct During GTA, Bully Trials

Michael McWhertor — Tue, 20 May 2008 18:20:03 MDT

According to a report from GamePolitics, the judge who presided over Miami lawyer Jack Thompson's Bar trial has recommended to the Florida Supreme Court that he be found guilty on 27 of 31 charges of professional misconduct. Of the 27 recommendations of guilt, twenty-one are from a suit related to Grand Theft Auto and four are from an attempt by Thompson to have Rockstar's Bully declared a public nuisance.

The Bar trial judge, Dava Tunis, found the violent video game activist guilty of misconduct such as "Engaging in conduct involving dishonesty, fraud, deceit or misrepresentation." The state Supreme Court will have to make a ruling based on those recommendations, with a disciplinary hearing planned for the first week of June.

Jack Thompson Guilty on 27 of 31 Misconduct Charges, Says Bar Trial Judge... FL Supreme Court Must Now Rule [GamePolitics]

Even Spielberg Cannot Beat BioShock's Mysterious God Spider (Huh?)

Brian Ashcraft — Thu, 15 May 2008 23:00:00 MDT

Yes, yes, Steven Spielberg likes games, blah, blah, blah. A GQ Magazine feature on Spielberg's Indy Jones star Shia LaBeouf sheds some light on the way the filmmaker plays games. From the article:

LaBeouf kept following the calls until he got to the director’s office. And there was the master himself: shoes off, socks on, dressed in shooting gear, but sitting behind a computer, stuck on the fifteenth level of a first-person shooter called BioShock.

“This is like months to get to this level, and he can’t get past this one little mysterious spider god, and he’s losing his mind. He’s like, ‘I can’t do it, Shia! I can’t do it.’ ”

LaBeouf, who got into acting at age 12 partly because he wanted to make enough money to buy himself a Sega Genesis, had found himself a soul mate.

Bwah? The 15th level of BioShock? There are 15 levels in BioShock? And mysterious spider gods? Guess Spielberg really is losing his mind!
LaBeouf Article [GQ Thanks, Brendan!]

GTA IV Causes "Reprehensible" Behavior (Also, Has Rape!)

Michael McWhertor — Wed, 14 May 2008 17:40:47 MDT

Glenn Beck, star of the previously posted "Stupidest Anti-GTA Vid You'll See Today", recently had Focus on the Family founder Dr. James Dobson on his CNN show to bemoan the disintegration of the institution of the family. The family, Dobson and Beck agree, is under attack from every direction, from politicians, from MTV and, of course, from Grand Theft Auto IV.

Dobson laments "the new video that's out, supposedly for kids" that features "every form of evil and violence, from killing to raping to drugs to foul language to political corruption and racism." Kids exposed to this sort of thing, Dobson says, "some of them, especially those that come from dysfunctional families, go out and do things that are reprehensible." Beck, who has previously called us "losers" (no u are, lol), points out that Dobson is talking about GTA IV, adding "they say it isn't being sold for kids, but it is, kids are buying it."

We're emailing both Beck and Dobson, begging for the rape codes. We simply must try these heretofore unknown feature and readjust our moral compass accordingly.

Wither the American family? [CNN - thanks, Jeremy!]

Perhaps The Stupidest Anti-GTA Vid You'll See Today

Luke Plunkett — Fri, 02 May 2008 02:30:00 MDT

Look, I'm not normally one to get all hot and bothered by the stuff people that don't play games say about game. But this rant, by CNN's Glenn Beck? As a gamer I'm stumped. But as a gamer and a history grad, I'm...less than amused. It's like a one-two punch with ignorance-coated knuckle-dusters.
[thanks James!]

GTA Will "Knock Me Out And Take My Gold Jesus Cross"

Luke Plunkett — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 23:30:00 MDT

Jonathan Lee Riches is a prisoner at a Williamsburg County federal corrections centre. Jonathan Lee Riches is also nuttier than a bag full of crushed nuts. The 31 year-old partly blames GTA for his stint in the slammer, and has filed a restraining order against Take-Two, Rockstar and, best of all, Grand Theft Auto itself. Why? He says "Defendants put me in prison. I face imminent danger from violent inmates who played Grand Theft Auto who will knock me out and take my gold Jesus cross". Brilliant. I say only "partly", however, because this is the same guy who last year filed suits against Barry Bonds, MLB commissioner Bud Selig and...Hank Aaron's bat, hoping to nab himself "42,000,000 million dollars in Swiss Francs". He also sued disgraced footballer Michael Vick for "63,000,000,000 billion dollars". So, so, so nutty.
Inmate Files Restraining Order Against GTA [Next-Gen]
Inmate Files Another Bizarre Lawsuit [Fox News]

"I Hate Video Games"

Brian Ashcraft — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 04:00:41 MDT

No point in pussy footing around. Let's dive in. Writes Times guest contributor and book author Giles Whittell:

I hate video games, on or offline. I hate the way they suck real people into fake worlds and hold on to them for decades at a time. I hate being made to feel hateful for saying so, and I hate being told to immerse myself in them before passing judgment, because it feels like being told to immerse myself in smack and teenage pregnancy before passing judgment on them.

More out of touch pointless ranting from Whittell's piehole after the jump!

This is not because of anything wrong or bad about video games or heroin or teenage parents. It's not even because of game-induced homicide or web-grooming of little girls by perverts - serious problems, but statistically low-risk. It's because, compared with everything else on offer in a kid's life, video games and heroin and teenage pregnancy are a colossal waste of time.

Video game and heroin and teenage pregnancy? Either Nintendo, some junkie or a pregnant teen killed his dog. We're not sure. Maybe all of them. Together, even!

I'll Never Buy One [Times via videogaming247]