The contest for the ultimate crapper kicks off January 24th, so if you want your name associated with winning the freshest gear for dumping, you can sign up for the official Roto Rooter newsletter to learn more.

Yeah. Wow. Michael McWhertor

Pimp My John [via Xbox Fanboy]

What can I possibly say about the woodburned Master Chief toilet seat cover? Nothing. I'm honestly in shock.

THIS TOILET SEAT WAS DESIGNED AND MADE BY GEORGE ECKERSLEY. WHO HAS BEEN DESIGNING TOILET SEATS FOR OVER THREE YEARS IN CENTRAL UTAH. THIS DESIGN WAS THE FIRST WOODBURNING SET HE EVER MADE. IT SHOWS BUNGIE'S MASTER CHIEF FROM ONE OF THE BEST FIRST PERSON SHOOTER GAMES EVER CREATED "HALO"

Please. Mr. Eckersley needs no introduction. Anyone who follows toilet seat design over the past few years is at least somewhat familiar with George's work.

You still have a week to put your bid in eBayers. But don't sit on this one. It's sure to fetch a pretty penny. Michael McWhertor

Halo Toilet Seat featuring the Master Chief [eBay, thanks Jane!]

This Sims 2 machinima documenting male restroom etiquette starts off with a rather standard defecation of the "Never stand directly next to another man at the urinal" prime directive. Worse yet, the makers seem to think that various toilet euphemisms are absolutely precious. "Yeah, yeah," I impatiently muttered, ready to close the tab. But then a breach of bathroom conversational etiquette leads to a zombie apocalypse, and the film suddenly becomes one of the greatest Sims machinima ever.

One thing they do not cover is when someone you know at the pub saunters up to the trough next to you and then gives you a hearty slap on the back, as if this were a "Hail Fellow, Well Met!" sort of communal moment. There is a string of unsolved murders by way of urine asphyxiation in Dublin with my DNA all over the crime scene because of this. Florian Eckhardt