FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE? [UK:R]

Oh, and special thanks to Qbix for that nightmare picture up there.

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What follows is my experience getting my very first tattoo, along with some images the squeamish might want to avoid like the plague. It seems I enjoy photographing blood. Call it residual goth.

The Plan

It started off as a joke. My best girl was coming to stay for a week, and we wanted to do something to commemorate the occasion. At first I suggested getting a Prince Albert, which you should probably not Google if you don't already know what it is. That didn't go over very well, so I suggested getting tattoos...again, as a joke, but she got excited about the idea, and by extension so did I, and before I knew it we were in a local tattoo parlor nervously pacing back and forth, straining our ears just in case we heard screaming coming from the back room.

Okay, that last bit was just me.

The Concept

We swung by Psycho Tattoo in Sandy Springs Georgia late on a Friday night, fully expecting them not to have any appointments available for the next several days. Well, I was fully expecting this, the scared-of-pain portion of my being trying to subconsciously sabotage the endeavor at every turn. As luck would have it there were two openings for the next day, so we put down a deposit and headed back to my apartment, dizzy with the possibilities...mainly because I hadn't thought this through.

Yes, I broke one of Flynn's rules. I had no idea what I wanted to get permanently drawn on my body. Not the where, not the what...I just had the when, and that would be tomorrow afternoon, so I had to get cracking.

My first choice was a Space Invader alien. Simple, small, elegant, and possibly tasteful. Recognized the world round as a video game icon. Pixels. Hmm. From those simple pixels my mind wandered to more complicated pixels. From Space Invaders to Galaga, Mario to Link, and finally (no pun intended), Final Fantasy. Flynn suggested the perfect gaming tattoo be something simple yet easily recognized by fellow gamers, so I decided to go with something that would forever brand me an RPG whore. The Black Mage. Holding up a tiny printout to my wrist, it felt good. Soon I would have my own little spellcasting buddy to talk to when things got lonely.

Bravery

When we arrived at Psycho Tattoo the next afternoon we were informed that my girlfriend would be going first. The audible sigh of relief was probably not the manliest move, but come on, it was my first time. Hers too, but someone had to do it. She opted for a half-dollar sized heart at the base of her neck, which took all of 15 minutes. She barely felt a thing. This gave me hope. Surely my experience would be similar!

We're Gonna Need A Bigger Black Mage

Psycho Tattoo is the closest thing you'll get to a tattoo parlor chain, with several locations throughout Atlanta, all with a fine stable of artists. After spending a few moments in the waiting room, I met mine. Justin seemed a nice enough fellow, calm and confident, which I suppose is exactly what you want in a guy who would shortly be plunging a needle into your skin. I showed him my concept, which he took, going to the photocopier behind the counter and returning with a much larger Black Mage than I had intended.
Pixels, while simple enough to draw, are a bit harder to tattoo. Due to the way skin moves and ink gets absorbed, pixels need to be pretty big to be recognizable as pixels. My tiny tattoo just got a whole lot bigger. Justin took the picture in the back and traced it out, returning with an outline of the pixels that revealed a much more complicated job that I expected. He would have to trace all of those lines with as steady a hand as possibly and then fill them in with color. How many lines?

That many lines. Oh boy. This was going to take more than 15 minutes.

Preparation

Justin took the line drawing and created an ink transfer, which he then applied to my inner arm, creating an outline of the design on my skin for him to follow with ink. After about five minutes worth of drying, I was ushered into the back room, where he shaved my skin, set out his equipment, and prepared to get down to business.
Two things about the inner forearm. It's one of the more sensitive spots on the body, and in order for say, a tattoo artist to have access to it for an extended period of time, you have to twist your arm into the most uncomfortable position it can possibly rest in. Just a little FYI.

Two Hours Of Pain, All At Once, All For You

As Justin first placed the ink-dipped needle to my skin, I felt a pinch. A hard pinch. Like someone with neatly filed nails was pinching the skin and then pulling in the direction the needle is traveling. As he filled in the lines - so many lines - I whimpered, I have to admit. It wasn't agonizing, and surely not torture, but not something you'd want to experience every day. Once the needle passed the skin felt like it had been precision burned, which made the fill in all that much more fun. The initial line work took around 30 to 45 minutes, during which my girlfriend ran to the Starbucks next door to get me a chai frappachino. Nothing takes your mind off tattoo pain like an intense ice cream headache - the only time I asked him to stop during the whole process.

Where's That Blood You Promised?

The blood didn't really start until Justin began filling in the colors. Then it welled up big time, and he had to wipe it away every 15 seconds or so to see what he was doing. I made good use of my camera's macro setting as he continued to draw the needle rapidly back and forth across my already burning skin. Two hours after initially sitting down I was done. I was given care instructions, paid my $125, and we were on our merry way, immediately heading over to my parent's house to show my mother what we had done to ourselves. She was most envious. God I love my mom.

But Wait, There's More

So great, now I have a tattoo! A colorful pal to sit on my arm and impress friends and strangers alike for the rest of my life, right? Well, not quite yet. You always see people on television and in movies leaving the tattoo parlor with freshly colored skin, no problem. They never tell you about the proper care and handling of a tattoo. Or the scabbing.

Warning - some of the pictures coming up are not pretty.

There are basically two things you have to do for a new tattoo - keep it clean, and keep it moist. Most good tattoo parlors will have products on hand to get you started. I had to use special tattoo wax for the first several days before moving on to a scentless skin lotion.

Keeping it clean is a high priority, as infected tattoos are just nasty. On the sheet we were given, they placed especially strong emphasis on cat hair, which led to me being absolutely terrified of my cats for a good two weeks. I had visions of cat hair tumbling through the air in slow motion, lighting on my arm while I screamed "NO!" in slow motion, my arm exploding as it made contact. For the first few nights I went to sleep with my arm straight up in the air, just in case they tried to cuddle.

While my girlfriend suffered only minor irritation, my tattoo felt like a sunburn for a few days, though that might have something to do with the whole shaving my arm bit. Then came the scabbing, and the peeling. Brace yourselves.
At least the scabs are color coordinated? See, tattooing basically makes the top layers of skin die. You have to deal with a good week or two of cloudy, dead, zombie skin over your tat before the true colors come shining through, or in this case, peeling off.

It took a full two weeks before the scabs finally healed and flaked off, which was a period of total agony for me. I am scratcher and picker. I am poker and prodder. I am peeler of scabs wherever they may be found. I might also be Beowulf. The point is that as someone who doesn't suffer skin blemishes well, I was desperate to dig into my arm with my fingernails for the better part of two weeks. Towards the end I might have helped the process a long a little bit, but for the most part I behaved.

The Final Product
Now it's been about a month since I got inked, and as you can see my Black Mage has grown a fine head of hair, yet is still easily recognizable as the fantasy RPG icon that he so is. There was a bit of pain involved, and no small amount of frustration, and I'm definitely going to have to go back in for a touch-up, but all in all I am glad to be among the tattooed-gamer masses. Would I do it again? Oh I am. Black Mage needs friends.

He's Only Gone And Done It - World's First PS3 Tattoo [ThreeSpeech]

But not every gaming tattoo is a good gaming tattoo. We've seen some pass through the hallowed halls of Kotaku Tower that would raise your hair. From the goth speed metal Silent Hill logo to the slightly out of shape Zappers, some tattoos just make you say "What the hell were you thinking?" Fortunately, I have a wee bit of experience with tattoos. So if you're ready to take the plunge and allow needle to meet flesh, repeatedly, hit the jump for a couple of important rules.

I have seen quite a few people with gaming tattoos over the last year, some good and some bad. Whenever I see them I try and chat the person up and get an idea why it is they decided to go with a particular design. I ran into a fellow named Shane the other day who was sporting a Pac-Man tattoo. While Pac-Man is admittedly a simple design, it is also infinitely recognizable. I asked him what made him decide on a Pac-Man design and this is what he had to say.

"I just really loved that game so much. It was in integral part of my childhood. I spent a lot of time in arcades playing Pac-Man and most of my allowance went to that game. It was also a game I played with a group of very close friends on a regular basis. As I got older I would play Pac-Man in some of the bars I would go to and the rush of nostalgia was so great. So when I decided to get tattooed, I really wanted something that would remind of all those great times I had when I was younger and of those friends that I don't really see anymore."

I spoke with Rick B., a tattoo artist who has surprisingly done quite a few gaming tattoos and asked him (in his experience) what seems to be the most popular designs amongst gamers.

"The Zelda Tri-Force is a pretty popular one. I have done four or five of those, mostly due to references from the first one I did. Honestly, I didn't even know what the hell it was the first time I saw it. When the guy told me what it was I vaguely remembered watching my little brother play it when we were kids, but I was never really into video games after high school. I've also done a couple Marios, but other than that most have them have been pretty random."

We chatted a bit more and I asked him if he had ever discouraged someone from getting a gaming tattoo or just a tattoo in general.

"I don't usually make any commentary on what people choose to get on their bodies, but I do have a few rules. I won't tattoo anyone's face or anything racist. There have also been a few instances where people bring in drawings that are just a mess. I try and get them to let me clean it up but a lot of times they want what's on the paper so they get what's on the paper. I remember this guy brought in a Mario that looked like he was a melting candle. Horrible. Since then I've actually gathered some images of the more popular characters so that people who come in looking for something like that will have more spec images to draw from."

Whenever we post readers' gaming tattoos here on the site, they are always met with mixed reactions. (which is why you haven't seen mine gracing the front page until now) Some love them, some hate them, some are just ambivalent, but they always have an opinion. It seems like people tend to become extremely judgmental when it comes to what other people put on their bodies but let's face it, an ugly tattoo is an ugly tattoo. So, I thought I would take the time to give some advice to those of you who are considering getting a gaming tattoo and how to avoid some of the common pitfalls that go along with it. Some of this is just good solid advice for getting tattoos in general, but gaming tattoos can be tricky so they deserve a little special attention.

1. Make sure the art that you bring to the tattoo artist is exactly the way you want it. Be sure that all the lines are the way you want them, etc. Also be sure that the colors are correct so you don't end up with a Link wearing a teal outfit instead of his standard green. Unless of course you're going for the Four Swords look...

2. If you are not positive that this is the design you want, try it out first. On more than one occasion I have drawn a potential design on myself with a Sharpie or other non-toxic marker just to check it out. You do not want to bet that full back tattoo of Lara Croft fighting the T-rex only to discover down the road that it really wasn't what you wanted and now you feel like an idiot.

3. Try to avoid logos. I know you love Nintendo, but perhaps choosing a character or symbol might be a better choice than emblazoning their corporate identity across your body. It ends up crossing the line between what could be a nice piece of tattoo art and looking like a billboard.

4. Go somewhere with a good reputation. Cleanliness is a must. If you know people with good tatts, ask them where they got theirs. In pretty much every tattoo studio you go into, the artists will usually have a book of their work available to check out. Try to pick someone who has a style similar to what your looking for. There are not that many tattoo artists who specialize in "video game style" but for instance, someone who does good portraits might be a good choice for 3D work.

5. It's a tattoo. It will be there for the rest of your life. Are you still going to love that cute Animal Crossing character in 20 years? Is it really worth it to spend the money on that completely obscure character that you yourself might forget when you get older? Is your band's name in Rock Band so awesome that it will last the ages?

6. While this might seem to contradict the last tip, it's just as important. This is YOUR tattoo, no one else's. If you want to get the PowerGlove put on you, by all means do it, but remember that if you post it to the Internet, who knows where it will end up. And wherever it ends up, you can be sure everyone will have plenty to say about it.

Me? I have two half-sleeves (I'm tattooed from sternum to elbows on both sides and have a few on my legs), but I didn't get my first gaming related tattoo until last year. I wanted to get something gaming related, but I didn't want the Tri-force or a Mario. I was looking for something that was gaming, but wouldn't be recognized immediately by the general public. Something that only people who gamed would recognize, sort of like a secret handshake. I was also waiting for that game to come along that made enough of an impression on me to make me want to have it added to my already large collection.

That game ended up being BioShock. The tattoo was the small three link chains that your player character has on his wrists and can be seen throughout the game whenever you fire certain weapons of shoot yourself up with a plasmid. It turned out to be the perfect tattoo. Smallish, and to the untrained eye, just a simple chain but to anyone who's played BioShock, it's instantly recognizable. For me, it was the perfect blend of video games and tattooing.

I don't usually get much gaming related stuff as gifts. Mostly that's because I have most of what I want, and I don't usually ask for stuff. This Christmas, for instance, my wife gave me a spectacular world time wall clock (for tracking the sleep habits of my international writers coughlukeashcough), and a painting made by an elephant in Thailand on dung paper. I did, though, get a couple of gaming presents. One was a neat Mario and Luigi in 08 t-shirt and the other was this gaming ornament. It shows, I believe, Halmark's uneasy sense that there's something out there called video games and they totally need to jump on to that bandwagon. Unfortunately, they missed by about a decade. Still fun to hang on the tree though.

Dan sent this to me, sent in to him by the proud, female owner of this amazing back.

Points to you, gamenerds, for being first to yell either the meaning of Leave Luck To Heaven or the full list of games featured. There aren't any prizes. Crecente ate all the cupcakes. Sorry.

Leave Luck To Heaven tattoo [Bits, Bytes, Pixels & Sprites]

Speaking of counting, how many stormtroopers did Plunkett and Bashcraft march with at TGS?

That young whippersnapper isn't the first to get such a mark; I had this done in Edinburgh in the year of our Lord 2005, shortly after finishing the game. As far as I know, I was the first bold dumbass to go ahead and do it. I've also attached a photo of my Ico tattoo as well, because ... well how many other people are there with Ico tattoos, I ask you?

Not sure why, but I received emails from two guys this long weekend about cool gaming tattoos that are either injected into their skin or the skin of a friend.

Thom! Watson! writes to say he just received this Zelda-inspired tattoo at Primal Urge Tattoos in Arkansas. He adds that he's not just a gamer, he's also a youth minister.

And then you have Tavit who just returned form commencement weekend at his old college where he ran into a friend, 5 Limbs, with this truly artful Okami tat.

That is all. Back to drinking and Warhawk. Brian Crecente

Hmmm, I'm starting to think that the whole tattoo thing is getting a little out of hand over at Microsoft.

First you have Peter Moore getting tats for Halo and GTA, now you've got TriXie, PMS Kitty and Dirty Diva getting wrist tats showing off their Gamerchix pride. What ever happened to bumper stickers? Brian Crecente

Chix Take it to the Extreme! [Gamerscore Blog]

Many have been highlighted on Kotaku before, but that Bub and Bob one is new to me.

This post should be considered not safe for work, too, as the infamous Pac-Man rump tattoo (yuck) comes in at number 6.

Thanks for the tip, Tom. Michael McWhertor

BEST 25 GAMING TATTOOS EVER!

There have been many great (and not so great) video game tattoos that have passed through the hallowed halls of Kotaku Tower. There was the awesome Okami tattoo and the terrifying Castlevania tattoo, even a warm and fuzzy Mario tattoo "just between friends". This one, however, takes the cake for in your face visibility. In fact it has ON your face visibility.

Zachiel is shown here with her brand new Invincible Mario Stars temple tattoo, administered with loving care by her husband, Matt. From the looks of it she has quite a little collection of Mario themed tatts going on. I see a Boo, a cloud and if I'm not mistaken, another Invincible Star with an "Invincible" banner underneath. I would think it safe to say this girl loves Mario. Despite it's forever presence on her face though, she's still got nothing on this guy. Flynn De Marco

Now that's a hardcore gamer tattoo [bits, bytes, pixels & sprites]

To prove with a slavering, self-mutilating Sony sycophant he was, thus securing tickets to Sony's Playstation 3 premier party, this inky gamer decided to get a Triangle, a Circle, an X and a Square tatooed over his entire arm. It's good work, but it makes me wonder if the entire disestablishmentarianist point of a tattoo is lost when you're basically branding yourself with a corporate trademark. Florian Eckhardt

This classic portrait is from the BMEzine blog, ModBlog, which is home to all manner of grotesque and exciting specimens and womens.

Says Shannon Larratt, ModBlog's primary contributor:

Since people have mentioned I need to post more guys, let me give you Neek, with his triforce tattoo by Roma Pavel Angel at Angel Tattoo Studio in Moscow, Russia.

Neek is a geek, doy, and therefore I won't judge him too harshly for that adolescent undergrowth clouding his otherwise chiseled jaw. He's a fine figure of manhood however you cut it, but I wish he would.

I will gently proffer the opinion, nay, the advice, that men under the age of 40 with fat-free throats unafflicted by severe underbite are doing themselves a vast disservice by allowing those oh-so-ironic curlies to sully their adonic visages. Eliza "Gauger Eye for the Gamer Guy" Gauger

Geek Love [ModBlog]

Is there anything more hardcore than getting a half-naked, pre-pubescent boy tattooed on your arm? Not to NAMBLA. Or gamers, I guess, when that half-naked, pre-pubescent boy with his perk, raspberry-ripe nipples is Laharl, the Prince of Hell from Disagaea.

We kid, we kid. Very nice. Thanks, Nick! Don't walk around schoolyards with your bicep exposed! Florian Eckhardt

Hardcore gamers have Mario Tanooki Tattoos [Destructoid]

I went to Hot Topic the other day and when the cashier turn around I saw this tattoo on his arm. The story behind it is that his best friend left for collage and they thought it would be kewl to have the same tattoo. When they got to the place, they decided on a video game theme. So his best friend has Mario and he has Luigi.

It's really nice when lovers decide to eternally brand their skin together, isn't it? This, of course, is not the most skilled rendition in flesh and ink that we've ever seen of Luigi, but we're always happy to post a touching tale of two Brokeback Gamers and a love that conquers all. Florian Eckhardt

Feast your eyes, mortals, on the 13-year-old winner's acceptance speech:

Hello my name is Matt Deluca but my friends call me mongoose and I am 13 years old. My gamertag is: phatalerror so you can play me on Mercs2WiF (hopefully it comes out for 360).

I was born in Egg Harbor City NJ but I moved and now I live in Atco NJ. Well I am a student on summer vacation, but I do work for a landscaping company for a summer job!

Some of my favorite video games are: Mercenaries, Halo, Halo2, Call of Duty 2, the Metal Gear Solid Series, and to all my buddies over in Iraq the Tom Clancy Series! But when I'm away from my sweet, sweet 360 I go paintballing with some of my friends.

In 20 years I see myself in the military or on the SWAT team and my specialty would be demolitions or a sniper. And that's me!

Mongoose drew the sword seen on the main contest page and won the contest, beating out a slew of better entries that are visible in the "gallery". The design at the right is not his, but it was my favorite. Imagine actually getting that tattooed onto yourself. Fricking sweet.

Why a sword entwined with roses, Mongoose?

A sword to represent strongness, which is a valuable asset in combat. It would be COOL if Mattias had a sword on his arm though!

Roger that. Carry on. Eliza sweet fancy moses it's a slow news day gauger

Aspiring tattoo artists take note! The character design team over at Pandemic has been snorting Pixy Stix out of each other's navels for the past three days, and they are tired. And if there's one thing I've learned at Kotaku Headquarters in the few weeks I've been here, it's that only through great adversity (and vageuly homoerotic sugar bingeing), are great gaming ideas born.

To spare their delicate artists further trauma, Pandemic Studios has launched a contest to decide what will be indelibly poked into main mercenary Mattias' arms:

For the upcoming Mercenaries 2: World in Flames, Pandemic Studios is calling for their fans to contribute to the design of the lead character, Mattias Nilsson. In "Design the Ink" - the current Mercenaries 2 contest - Pandemic is currently accepting original tattoo designs for the lead Mercenary. The winner will have his or her name featured in the credits and Mattias will actually wear the winning design in the final released version of the game!

Shut down that pirated copy of Illustrator, no tribal designs are being accepted! Also on the "no" list are nudity, profanity, or copyrighted works. So that charming rendering of Samus, in dishabille, dropping a fat f-bomb in a speech bubble, will just have to remain in your My Pictures folder a trifle longer. Very sorry. Eliza Gauger

Design the Ink Contest [Mercenaries II site]

Tomb Raider: Legend Screens [Gamespot]
Tomb Raider: Amanda Exposed [IGN]

Anyway, you'll want to check out these new geek tattoos uploaded between December 05 and January 06. Mario Leg Mushrooms. Konami Waves. Hairy EA. The utterly awesome Nintendo Knuckles ... and the piece de resistance, the Pac-Man Bum.

ROUND OF APPLAUSE!

Various geek tattoos [BMEzine]