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Music: Unicorn Kid

Kotaku Talk Radio: It's-A Mario! [Blog Talk Radio]
Kotaku Talk Radio: It's-A Mario! [iTunes]

Hello, ima Mario. Okey dokey, letsa make a pizza pie together, you go get somea spaghetti, you go geta some sausage, I getta some sauce, you gonna put some spaghetti on the sausage and the sausage on the pizza, then I'm gonna chasea you with the pizza, then you gonna chasea me with the pizza, and gonaa makea lasagne.'

Martinet confesses that he went on and on, in what he maintains is the only audition he's ever crashed. It got him into Super Mario 64 and other Mario games since then. All the Mario work has gotten Martinet singing Mario songs to himself when he walks down the street — and slipping into Wario's voice when he has a bad day.

While it is unfortunate that the typed word cannot convey the magic of the following bit from the interview — "[Martinet breaks out into the voices of Luigi, Wario, Walugi, baby Luigi and baby Mario.] — there is still plenty more good Martinet material to be had in the full article.

Game Junkie's Charles Martinet Interview [The Press, New Zealand]

[PIC]

"That's great," Nintendo of America president Reggie Fils-Aime said as he looked at it for the first time during his interview with Kotaku.

"We know that he is a fan of what we do, and we're thrilled to have him as a passionate Nintendo fan. Maybe we'll have to go play some Wii Sports Resort as well as Super Mario Bros Wii."

So, no cease and desist, Reggie?

"No. For Conan, we'll let that one slide."

Credit to SeriousLunch.com for first spotting the Conan-Mario connection and enhancing it.

We got the link to this Flickr set, uploaded yesterday, but no explanation other than the location of the protest: Northampton, Mass., or so it said anyway.

I had a feeling Bowser is the kind of guy who supports a strong military. Of course, this is a funny picture in its own right. But once you make the sign, you gotta go wave it, and Bowser takes it downtown.

Here you can see Northamptonites wondering WTF a Tanooki suit is. Look, you can fly with it, you can turn into a statue ... never mind.

The protest culture in Northampton, Mass., must make San Francisco look like Pensacola, if three guys don't even bat a fuckin' eye at an anthropomorphic spiked turtle turtle picketing in front of a local bank.

Bowser Protest [Flickr, thanks Nick N.]

Both presentation and controls are excellent considering it's a free flash title, and after recent Mario dalliances with paper airplanes and 3D planetoids, it's nice to go back to the simpler things in life, like running around throwing vegetables at things.

Super Mafia Land [Armor Games, via IndieGames]

Around Wednesday a user kicked it all off with "Mario Explains It: Lesson 001." (Above) The guy was clearly going all Mr. Bitterpants over the state of a just-friends relationship with some girl who is probably never, ever going to give it up for him. It was then followed up with many pictures and revisions. Here are the ones that were the funniest while still forming a logical progression:

Here's a "Fixed that for you" from someone even more bitter.

The third picture shows the OP how to git 'er done.

Uh, staying "just friends" now sounds like a pretty good idea, doesn't it?

Smoker!!!!! Reloading!

Of course, there's always this path. I'd probably make supersize Bullet Bob into a divorce lawyer.

And finally, for those who hate counseling, the Scott Peterson option.

And so we learned an important lesson today, didn't we kids? That's right. Never ever never have sex with anyone you care about ...

Mario Explains It [Reddit]

Can you guess from which source all 39 letters came? Skimming over it I can recognize a dozen, easily. Spoilers are in the comments at the link.

Mario Receives Ransom Letter [The -Minus World]

And I'm sure that more than a few of you have been roped into a "sugar cookie decorating party." But how many of you decided that that would be a great opportunity to brush up on your Mario replicating skills. Not I.

irContradiction sends along this pic of a cookie decorated with just a brush and toothpick. I can't imagine Sugar Cookie Mario sat around too long before exploring the inside of someone's mouth.

it reminds me, thematically, of andrew plotkin’s so far (from “so near and yet so far”), where the distance between the protagonist and the object of the protagonist’s desire manifests in recurring symbols of objects that must be brought close but never allowed to touch, and whose climax gives the player the opportunity to resolve this distance, but to do so causes everything to be undone.

or, more recently, braid, which actually incorporates the line “the princess is in another castle.” the resolution of braid is the acceptance of the princess’s absence: tim must reject his fantasy of the princess as the object of a heroic quest. the denouement is the acknowledgement that the princess is just a person, and tim’s past is not a puzzle to be solved.

the theme of unrequited love suggests that to truly know the object of our desire is to desanctify the allure that gives our fantasy its power. to play past the ending of super mario bros. would be to realize that the princess is a single sprite, bereft of life or animation. there’s a reason the game ends when mario meets the princess: the game is the chase, not the consummation.

When I burrow into a much-loved game or book or movie, I'm reminded of the statement that 'history is the loneliest profession' — that is, many of us have a one-way relationship with our subjects, investing so much time and energy (and often, affection) into people and things that don't give any of that back. Still, there's something about that one-way relationship — for me, it's often brought out in gaming as well as my work, but I know I've played a good game when I feel sorrow at finishing, not wanting to put away that relationship. The fact that we all have our individual relationships with games, but are still connected in a wider way (from the designers all the way down to fellow players) — well, that's pretty cool. And not so lonely.

the princess is in another castle [auntie pixelante via GameSetWatch]

I wanted it to be a self-esteem project painted by a group of at-risk Goombas, but no, it's the handiwork of an artist who goes by BPAK. It's a "Quikrete infused" mural that took three weeks to complete.

Super Mario Outdoor Wall o' Art [Kezins.com]

Two weeks ago saw an extraordinarily successful, more-than-72 hour Super Mario Marathon that raised more than $11,000 for a gamers' charity for kids. This week, four Mega Man enthusiasts are finding out how hard of an act that is to follow — as a fund drive anyway. A new web site indicates that game marathons are a mushrooming craze, capitalizing partly on gamers who enjoy watching others fail at classic console titles. The question is, how long will it last?

The Megamanathon was hatched "about five minutes after we started watching the Mario Marathon," said Alex Willingham, one of the four gamers taking a tour of the Mega Man Series. Three hours into their marathon, which began 9 pm EDT Friday in Nyack, N.Y., they'd raised $210 for Child's Play, the same beneficiary of the Mario endeavor. As of noon Saturday, they'd upped that to $230.

They're still having fun, of course. But the Super Mario Marathon logged more than 100,000 unique viewers and 120,000 viewing hours, and it sounds like a lot of others got the same idea from watching it. A site, Gamemarathons, went online shortly after the Mario Marathon and is trying to be the go-to place for coordinating these contests, to cut down on overlap and redundancy. There's a Speed Gamers Marathon going on right now; a Rare Marathon that just finished, and Guitar Hero and Metroid coming up next week.

"Every marathon right now will find the Mario Marathon tough to follow," said Matt Hayden, who launched Gamemarathons.com. He estimates 85 percent of the marathons listed there so far are being done for charity. Those that are gaming for a cause are clearly differentiated from those that aren't.

"[The Mario Marathon] was so wildly successful and well advertised that no marathon can hope to achieve the numbers they did in terms of viewers and money," Hayden said. "But then again, the marathons should never really be about competition or one-upping the one before. Each one is uinique, and even if it raises $5, that's $5 a charity didn't have before, and it was a weekend of entertainment for at least a handful of people."

Willingham agrees, seeing more potential in the casual, drop-in entertainment value of a marathon. "As far as fundraising goes, it may be an idea beaten to death," Willingham said. "As recreational marathoning entertainment, it'll last as long as there are games to play."

He and his cohorts — Cory Hunt, Charlie Basler and Damon Amador, all college-age guys — had the itch to do a marathon, cause or charity regardless. But Willingham also thinks the marathon has some entertainment potential for viewers. "It's like a television show for geeks," he said. "You log on each weekend, and watch more dorks fail."

Hayden sees it a little differently. "Boring people who don't interact will break a marathon and bore the viewers no matter what game they're playing," he said. "Fun people will bring in viewers and retain them. People didn't watch [the Mario Marathon] for hours on end to see Mario games. They watched to see the guys, and became so enamored of them they were given nicknames. Brian [TK's] dog and wife became the most popular characters."

The Megamanathon, even if it hasn't raised as much as the Mario Marathon, poured out the same kind of effort and has developed its own following. hey've earned afan art gallery (including tributes to "Bagel Girl," the only female on the scene.) All the participants have gotten nicknames from those dropping in to watch. A PR effort got our attention, and local news as well.

But at this point, barring any flood of donations, the marathon's biggest success will likely be its completion, rather than the amount raised. The Mega Man gamers have the will to finish out the series, but others might not.

"I'm worried that upcoming marathons, especially the hastily prepared ones, will peter out once the inspiration from the Mario Marathon has worn off," Hayden said. "Just about every one that's planned for the next 2 months admit they were directly inspired by it. But that's why I created GameMarathons. I wanted the phenomenon to be more organized and be more widely accessible by everyone on the Internet, not just those who have to rely on word of mouth or a lucky mention on a popular site."

The Megamanathon will likely last into Sunday, Willingham said. They started with original Mega Man, and have been drawing titles out of a hat at random. They're playing the Mega Man Anniversary Collection and Mega Man X Collection on a Wii, using a HORI Digital GameCube pad. You can follow their progress on their site.

Gamemarathons [Site]
Megamanathon [Site]
Super Mario Marathon [Site]

Mario's been dying that way for years, so, here's a video in which he tries on some new demises in search of a better good death. They missed Defender, where he explodes in a fireworks burst and burns white-hot thermite particles through anything on the screen. That would be funny. Certainly funnier than what happened between Luigi and the Koopas.

Deaths That Just Don't Work for Mario [YouTube]

The last time we were this disappointed, we woke up to find hair in all our weird places. And every day since then things have just gotten worse.

Superior Bathrooms by SuperMario [SuperMario Broke Our Heart via technabob]

I opened my eyes and found myself as you see me with a voice telling me, 'You are Superbarrio...I can't stop a plane or a train single-handed, but I can keep a family from being evicted.

10 Real-life Superheroes [via neatorama]

Six Islamic militants, including a delivery guy for Super Mario's Pizza, were arrested on charges of plotting to attack the Fort Dix Army post and kill as many soldiers as possible, the Associated Press is reporting.

An FBI informant secretly recorded conversations over the past year in which the half-dozen men detailed their plot.

"This was a serious plot put together by people who were intent on harming Americans," U.S. Attorney Christopher Christie said Tuesday. "We're very gratified federal law enforcement was able to catch these people before they acted and took innocent life."

Christie said one of the suspects worked at Super Mario's Pizza in nearby Cookstown and delivered pizzas to the base.

Oh Mario, what have you done? Brian Crecente

6 charged with plot on Army post in N.J. [AP, thanks Chakan]

I think about two minutes into this modded Super Mario I would have either a) killed someone or b) screamed until I wet myself and passed out. Brian Crecente

the most diabolical Super Mario mod ever...... [Endangered Gamer]

In an attempt to vie for the coveted title of Pittsburg, PA's Most Talked About Video Game Related City Wide Art Piece, Kotakuite Scott sends in his friend Jeff's Super Mario "?" Block made from ordinary post office mailing boxes. There's an in depth look at the creation of the box on Jeff's website along with a promise to make more and hang them around the city once the weather gets warmer. He vows to give the creator of the infamous "Pittsburg, PA Yoshi's Egg Graffiti" a run for his money.

I daresay we are all looking forward to seeing this plan come to fruition and we'll be watching the situation closely. If you're reading this Jeff, we expect to see photos of this come summer or we'll all think you're nothing more than a shiftless layabout. And there will be no making one box and snapping it in different locations or some other such hoax. If you do, we'll know. We always know. The million eyes of Kotaku are upon you. Flynn De Marco

Reader Ethan P. has gone to the trouble of creating his own Mario Nutcraker just in time for Christmas. It's hand painted over a traditional 13" nutcracker and is currently being sold on eBay for $20 plus $15 shipping. A real bargain if you know anything about nutcrackers... which I don't, but it sounded good to say. It did get me thinking though, about what The Nutcracker ballet would be like if it was redone with Mario characters. Quick, somebody call Jonathan Mann! Flynn De Marco

The Super Mario Nutcracker [eBay]