That's right, apparently Kentucky-fried familial relations are a wirdy-durd on Xbox Live. "Grandma Incest" was OK for about a week, then I logged on and discovered the moderation screen. Dude, we were on tour with The Scorpions in Germany, do you have any idea what a hassle it is to print new tickets, posters, flyers — to say nothing of the fact we've alienated millions of fans who identified with the Grandma Incest movement and experience.

I even emailed Major Nelson about this to ask if this was a Microsoft or a Harmonix thing; he hasn't gotten back to me, but the first email I sent, the postmaster bot bounced it back for language — and the only objectionable word I used in the email was "incest." Maybe I should have spelled it in leet. 1nc3s7? Whatever, doesn't matter, the mans has officially kept me down. Sigh. So we're onto our backup band name:

Look, mom, we're up to "medium"!

Anyhow, everyone has had such a good time with this, and we got so many awesome Rock Band and Guitar Hero names submitted in the last post, that I figured I'd put the best ones together in a hypothetical awesome all-star ensemble lineup for a Super Bowl halftime show that would be shitloads better than Janet Jackson's tit or Prince's satanic penis on the 50 yard line. Here is our show, whose theme is "Up With People Out the Ass!" Music selections are mine, taken at random from my iTunes library. Don't like yours? Tough. Come on, this is supposed to be fun.

Kotaku All-Star Ensemble Halftime Show
"Up With People Out the Ass!"

Featuring:

• An Hero (TheMagicPie) performing "Man in the Mirror" by Michael Jackson.
• Buttmüsli and the Sanctuary (Kasuli) performing “Der Kommisar” by After the Fire.
• Bull Milk (LogicBox) performing “Highway Patrol” by Junior Brown
• Dolphin Cockring (Sebastian28) performing “Nineteen” by Harold Faltermeyer Paul Hardcastle.
• Xtra Krispy Shame Gravy by (NuncioEurymachus) performing What is Love? by Haddaway
• Prolapse in Judgment (Brmarlin) performing “Piss Up a Rope” by Ween.
• Barfing Cattle (MysteryMeat) performing “Hair” by the Cowsills
• Jemima’s Witness (Sandbox_Emperor) performing “Little Bastard” by the Ass Ponys
• Vogon Poetry (Maddogdw) performing “Theme from Robocop" by Basil Poledouris
• Peyote Ugly (Dirk_Dorkelson) performing “We Just Won’t Be Defeated” by The Go! Team.
• Morgue Orgy (ArnoldCaiti) performing “U.S. Customs Coast Guard Dope Dog” by George Clinton and the P-Funk All-Stars
• Priapism (Willyt9) performing “Legacy” by the Gone Jackals
• Word Salad Jazzmatron (Adopted Wuss) performing "Renegades of Funk" by Rage Against the Machine
• Finale: Frenulum Rangers (formerly Grandma Incest) performing “Luka” by Suzanne Vega

and then .... special encore ...
• The Mike Fahey Magical Mystery Tour ... performing ... “The Touch” by Stan Bush

Enjoy the game. It kicks off in about an hour.

Bottom line, there's a list of Super Bowl ad sponsors. And while Sony's on it, it's for two movies, not for Killzone 2. Gamezine also points out it is 52 seconds long — odd length, considering NBC charges in 30-second increments.

Think outside your emotional reference group. All of us get this ad, but for anyone else it needs a lot of explaining. Who's shooting at whom? Why do I care? And if you're paying that much to get in front of the largest audience of the year, the viewers should comprehend the essential words of what you're selling. If this was a Super Bowl ad I'd foresee a lot of mainstream ad critics wondering why someone paid $5 million for 50 million parents to ask their kids what a Helghast was.

Anyway, if NBC isn't allowing PETA to use asparagus as a phallic symbol, I doubt they'd approve of bodies-hit-the-floor gameplay. Show a little skepticism, you know? Killzone 2 is a good game that cost a lot of money to make. It's not going to be supported by cliché marketing on the biggest advertising day of the yea

Is the Killzone 2 Super Bowl Ad Fan-Made? [Gamezine.co.uk]

Ah Peter Moore, how we've missed you. No one has really stepped into the "public face" void filled by Moore's sudden departure over at Microsoft, but fortunately, Moore himself is still going to be very much a public face in gaming.

Today the EA Sports president launched his very own blog over on EA Sports. Moore says he hopes to update it weekly with thoughts on sports, sports gaming and the gaming industry. He also told me in a recent interview that he might post some picture of fancy new digs (complete with sports bar I'm told) on the site down the line.

If his first blog post, which touches on everything from Facebreaker, the Super Bowl and why he thinks Larry Hryb is the Perez Hilton of video game blogging, is any indication, Inside the Game with Peter Moore is going to be a must read for sports gamers. Oh, and the best part? His posting name is EACrazyLegs. Wow! Turns out that EACrazyLegs is actually the community manager who posted Moore's first blog entry. His real forum name is... PeterMoore. Boo!

Inside the Game [EA Sports]

Color me jealous. Not only did N'Gai Croal get to hang with a Playboy Playmate but it appears he made his way into Sony's Playstation Oasis at the Raleigh Hotel in Miami's South Beach.

It was up there that the likes of Ludacris, Tom Brady, Gabrielle Union, Mario Williams, John Legend, Terrence Howard and Serena Williams hung and were gifted with some Sony Xtreme swag like thos nifty Sony kicks and personalized PS3s. They even laser etched stuff for them. Sweet, but why no Bedazzler? Brian Crecente

Double Life: Inside the Playstation Oasis, Where Sony Is Redefining the Gift Bag, Part I [Level Up]

Newsweek's N'Gai Croal spent the weekend hanging out in Miami checking out the Electronic Arts affair leading up to this year's Super Bowl.

With EA monopolizing the rights to make NFL-branded games, this was it in the way of video game related Super Bowl happenings. That's right. no more Sony sponsored Game Before the Game. Instead we had Sony's Challenge a Playmate event, featuring Madden. And we had Microsoft's Madden Bowl 2007.

Croal says EA insists it is working to change their tone, making it "less arrogance, more humility." Could this change in demeanor have something to do with 2K Sports announcing that they are getting back into the videogame football biz? Who cares? What really matters is how the games look come publishing day. And for that I have to say a big thank you for the renewal of competition in this market. Brian Crecente

Double Life: At the 13th Annual Madden Bowl, Electronic Arts' Football Marketing Director Christopher Erb Discusses The Future of Virtual Pigskin [Level Up]

Not only is he hanging with the beautiful people during the lead up to the Super Bowl in Miami, he got a chance to share a Playstation 3 with Deanna Brooks, Playboy's Miss May 1998, and have his ass handed to him in Madden.

"That was impressive defensive pressure, if I do say so myself."

The founders of Level Up are all seated in a private room overlooking the pool of the South Seas Hotel in Miami's raucous South Beach district. We've got a Sixaxis controller in our hands, a Bravia LCD television staring us in the face, and a Playstation 3 with a copy of Electronic Arts' Madden NFL 07 all fired up. But sitting right next to us is Playboy playmate Deanna Brooks—Miss May 1998, according to Google—with a grin-verging-on-a-smirk lighting up her face. And she's gleefully trash-talking our weaksauce Madden skills as her virtual Colts squash another attempt by our digital Bears to move the chains downfield.

In the story Croal talks a bit with Brooks about her gaming habits and in particular, her PS2 addiction. Brian Crecente

Double Life: Playboy's Miss May 1998 and Level Up Face Off In Madden NFL 07 On the PS3 [Level Up]

Do anything special for the Super Bowl? Sony Computer Entertainment of America sure as hell did, hosting a big shindig in Miami's South Beach complete with lasered PS3s and PlayStation Nikes. Only a hundred of these customized packs were on hand to give away. Gotta hand it to Sony — They do know how to throw a party. Brian Ashcraft

Super Bowl Party, PS-Style [Sole Collector, Thanks MarkMan!]

You might remember the clever Grand Theft Auto inspired Coke commercial that made the rounds in movie theaters and even appeared in a high profile spot during American Idol TV last year. It features a GTA style character rampaging through town, only to be turned to the light side by enjoying a Coke and a smile. The clip will be one of three different Coke commercials appearing in today's Superbowl. According to a Coca-Cola rep, the plan from the beginning was to air commercials on both American Idol and the Superbowl thus reaching a larger audience since, according to her, everyone doesn't watch American Idol.

Wait... they don't?

Super Bowl ads: K-Fed, Jay-Z, Robert Goulet? [CNN Money]
[via GamePolitics]

I won't give away the winner of the match up, but I will give you a hint. It's not the Colts. Michael Fahey

We know the winner of Super Bowl XLI [bits, bytes, pixels & sprites]

Electronic Arts sends word that the 2006 EA Sports Madden Bowl will be shown on ESPN tonight at 9:30 p.m. EST.

The bowl was filmed at the Colony Club in Detroit during the week of the Super Bowl XL and hosted by Trey Wingo of ESPN.

The annual bowl pits the top eight MAdden gamers in the NFL against each other in a sudden death tourney. The two part show will wrap-up on Thursday, April 27.

Hit the jump for the list of the competitors and a full list of air times.

The PlayersWillis McGahee (Buffalo Bills)
Marcus Trufant (Seattle Seahawks)
Edgerrin James (Arizona Cardinals)
Chad Johnson (Cincinnati Bengals)
Alex Smith (Tampa Bay Buccaneers)
Antonio Gates (San Diego Chargers)
Mark Clayton (Baltimore Ravens)
Santana Moss (Washington Redskins)

Full Madden Bowl air schedule on ESPN and ESPN2 (all times EST):
ESPN THU 4/20/2006 09:30PM Episode 1
ESPN THU 4/27/2006 09:30PM Episode 2
ESPN FRI 4/28/2006 01:00PM Episode 1
ESPN FRI 4/28/2006 01:30PM Episode 2
ESPN THU 5/11/2006 01:00PM Episode 1
ESPN THU 5/18/2006 01:00PM Episode 2
ESPN2 THU 4/27/2006 10:00PM Episode 1
ESPN2 THU 4/27/2006 10:30PM Episode 2
ESPN2 FRI 4/28/2006 12:00AM Episode 1
ESPN2 FRI 4/28/2006 12:30AM Episode 2
ESPN2 SUN 4/30/2006 12:30AM Episode 1
ESPN2 SUN 4/30/2006 01:00AM Episode 2

Also you can catch Madden Nation at these times:
ESPN2 WED 4/26/2006 12:00AM
ESPN2 WED 4/26/2006 12:30AM
ESPN2 SUN 4/30/2006 01:30AM
ESPN2 SUN 4/30/2006 02:00AM
ESPN2 SUN 4/30/2006 02:30AM
ESPN2 WED 5/3/2006 12:00AM
ESPN2 WED 5/3/2006 12:30AM
ESPN THU 5/4/2006 01:00PM
ESPN2 WED 5/10/2006 12:00AM
ESPN2 WED 5/10/2006 12:30AM
ESPN2 WED 5/17/2006 12:00AM
ESPN2 WED 5/17/2006 12:30AM

You saw the results, now check out the pictures from the Madden Super Bowl. Plenty after the jump.

Major Nelson reports that Xbox Live Marketplace now has some Super Bowl themes and picture packs available for download.

The packs include a Seattle Seahawks theme and picture pack and a Pittsburgh Steelers theme and picture pack.

Super Bowl Dashboard Themes [Major Nelson]

Hit the jump for the full report from EA and their prediction for the next Super Bowl champions.

Bolstered by a tough defensive effort that limited NFL MVP Shaun Alexander to just 70 yards rushing and sacked Seattle quarterback Matt Hasselbeck four times, the Pittsburgh Steelers won their fifth overall Super Bowl championship in a game simulated by EA SPORTS, downing the Seahawks 24-19 in a preview of what might happen in Super Bowl XL. The game, which was simulated using the best-selling video game Madden NFL 06 for the Microsoft Xbox 360, played out in a way not unfamiliar to Pittsburgh fans - the Steelers moved out to an early lead using the pass and taking advantage of a timely turnover, and then turned to their relentless rushing attack to hold off the surging Hawks and secure the title. Playing in his hometown of Detroit, Steelers RB Jerome Bettis garnered Super Bowl MVP honors by scoring two touchdowns in the game to go with his 41 yards rushing, getting his team on the board first with a one-yard plunge late in the first quarter to cap a ten-play, 74-yard drive. The teams exchanged field goals in the second quarter, and Pittsburgh upped its lead after recovering an Alexander fumble on the Seattle 24-yard-line. Three plays later, Steeler RB Willie Parker took the ball off right tackle for a seven-yard scamper which made the score 17-3 - a daunting margin that very few Pittsburgh opponents have been able to overcome. Seattle got another field goal to cut their deficit to 11 points midway through the third quarter, but Alexander was finding no running room and the Steeler defense was bringing constant pressure against Seahawks QB Matt Hasselbeck. Still, the Seahawks managed to close to 17-13 after Alexander finished a seven-play, 66-yard drive early in the fourth quarter with a short dive off the left side. Pittsburgh responded, however, by pounding the ball on a clock-chewing drive, taking more than six minutes off the clock by going 73 yards in 13 plays - 11 of them runs - to move up 24-13 after Bettis again scored on a one-yard run. With little time left, Seattle moved the ball down the field quickly and got six more points as Hasselbeck connected with Darrell Jackson on a 19-yard scoring pass, but their two-point conversion failed, and the ensuing onside kick was recovered by the Steelers, who ran out the clock to celebrate their win. Pittsburgh QB Ben Roethlisberger finished an efficient 19 of 28 passing for 173 yards, while Parker picked up 52 on the ground. The Steeler defense was paced by linebacker Joey Porter, who finished with seven tackles and two sacks, while Troy Polamalu added seven tackles. Hasselbeck ended the day completing 21 of 29 passes for 220 yards while Jackson had 91 receiving yards. Lofa Tatupu had eight tackles and Grant Wistrom finished with two sacks for the Seahawks.

And Pittsburgh will be burning for the next decade.

The Steves at The Dartmouth are like us: They use video games to make important life decisions, like where to bet $100. To figure out who would win the NFL championship games this weekend (and, hence, the Super Bowl finalists), they played the favored Denver Broncos versus the Pittsburgh Steelers in Madden 06. It was Pittsburgh 21-17. Next was Seattle Seahawks versus the Carolina Panthers. It was a blowout: Carolina, 28-10.

Well, that frees up my Sunday.

Madden 06: Steelers, Panthers to meet in Super Bowl XL [The Dartmouth]